getting overwelmed!

[Guest]

I guess I'll start off with saying that last summer while I was working a trade show in the states, I met someone there and we just fell for each other completely. I've never had something happen so quickly, when we weren't working we were hanging out together. The problem obviously is that we are both in different cities, not to mention countries (I'm in Canada). To make a long story short I have been hung up on this person ever since then. We're always yo-yo-ing with our situation, one moment we're trying to figure out how we can make it work, another it just doesn't seem fathomable...not to mention in this time period he and his ex tried to get back together (3yr relationship + a child, so I am understanding in them wanting to get their family back together), but apparently it's really over now. Anyway I visited him a few months ago but unfortunately my trip landed when his ex situation started, so nothing really happened. Now that it's over, and a couple months have past we're talking again about still having feelings for each other and yo-yo-ing again..the last I heard from him is he wants to talk about us again.

 

Now for the harder part. Awhile after my visit there I ended up meeting someone, we were just friends, hung out and saw a movie together etc. We both started to like each other but then he became very busy and was strapped for cash (no extra money to drive into town to hang out). That's not all..during that time I didn't really hear much from him and ended up meeting another person, again just as friends. I've since spent a lot of time with him since I don't really get out much, I could tell he was liking me more than a friend after awhile and although I do like him and enjoy his company I don't feel anything more for him. However we have been intimate and now I think he thinks I'm his gf, even though we never actually talked about it...but we actually had a conversation before where we both admitted not being against friends with benefits kind of thing and I was just thinking that's kind of what we had going.

 

This is getting long!

 

So now, I'm stuck in wondering if I should see where this leads, maybe I will develop feelings for him. In the meantime the guy in the states is on my mind constantly, and I wonder if I should just give it a shot...go visit for a month or something and see what happens (I'm recently unemployed so I have the freedom right now). I'm just thinking I feel so much for him, and the feelings are returned, if I never give it a shot, I might always wonder what could have been. So that's where I've been stuck, break things off with my 'friend' and persue him, or just accept that it might never work and stay here to see what happens. On top of this, the guy I mentioned earlier that I was hanging out with, is back in the picture and has been really flirtatious and trying to get me to visit him this week and again on the weekend. I still like this guy and wonder what might happen here, but then I think about the one I'm hung up on in the states, and also my 'friend' (I really don't want to hurt him, I've always been the dumped one and know how it sucks..plus I really would like to stay good friends).

 

Alright so basically what I've been doing is letting whatever happens, happen. I am keeping open minded to the prospects here because I don't think it's a good idea to push every opportunity away in hopes something will come out of the american guy..but I keep coming back to it and thinking about him and I.

 

Anyway good luck in sorting through that mess..appreciate any insight.