Lovers abusive family

[David]

Hello everyone,

 

I have a problem, of course... My girlfriends family is extremely abusive to my lover, me, and my family. Her mother says she is fat all of the time, and tells her father to hide the chips from her...she is skinny as can be by the way. Her mother constantly calls her names, such as a lazy ##### bitch when i am over there...she is active as can be. This is just the beginning.

 

My lovers parents never let us do anything, and when they did they would abuse her, by saying she looked fat in her prom dress, or not letting her do anything for like a month afterwords.

 

Well, i got a little sick of keeping my mouth shut while watching my girlfriend and I get abused. So one day after my lovers mother told her she couldn't do anything for a week, i gained the gutts to ask why, they said that she was getting her tonsils taken out in two weeks, and she needed rest. I asked them if that was really why and her father came running into the kitchen and started swearing and yelling at me. Then, he threw me and my girlfriend through the door and began to threaten me by saying that he was going to shoot me and kill me. So i told him that i wanted to talk it over, but he went inside to get a gun, I told my girlfriend to get in the truck and we left. I called the police and got a restraining order put on him. The next day her father and brother were driving around looking for me to beat me up. My girlfriend went to counseling and they said that everything would go back to normal. I said to my lover that there was no normal in the first place. But she went back home like after a month, and one day she came over to play trivial pursuit, with me, my mother, and my aunt. when she was getting ready to leave, her father whipped in the driveway and slammed his truck door and began to point his finger in an intimidating matter at my aunt and started to argue with her, she just walked away. I called the cops again and so on...

 

Well, it is today about 2 months later (and two pages later haha)...her parents took her car away, her liscence away, told her that she couldn't see me for 2 months, she can't talk on the phone, she is a prisoner basically, and she can't work.

 

I told my girlfriend that i loved her and I wanted her to leave because I no longer wanted anything to do with her family because her mother called up and threatened my mother as well as her brother calling up and cutting me down. So i broke up with her to let her and her family get things back together, with me being out of the picture. I love her to death.

 

My question is, should i wait two months, which may not happen, or just say forget it all?

[Wondering]

You don't say how old you or your lover is but I am assuming she is under 18 as her parents have been successful in taking away her car, her license and in effect, you. If she is of the age of consent, then she needs to remove herself from her home situation as soon as possible. A family that threatens and treats one of their own in this manner has some real serious problems and I would be fearful of their anger and actions towards their own daugher and you. This person has some real abuse problems she's trying to cope with. I would look into trying to get her into some sort of counseling even if you have to drag her there and I wouldn't wait too long. Just my 2 cents....

[TT]

Even as a friend of this person you'd have a moral responsibility to rescue them! And, I'm sure you'd have a strong wish to as well.. As the family is not reasonable, your main hope is to (depending on the law in yuour state) help her find a better home - even something sheltered for the vulnerable - or keep everything as stable safe and sane as poss. till she's legally free of them , then help her leave and become independent. If they really are dangerous, don't be excitable or confrontational around any of them - even her! but cool and factual....they sound out of control to me and you don't want anyone getting hurt. Keep us posted...