What would you do in this situation?

[southernmel1st]

My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years. We also have a 5 year old little girl. About a month ago, I was sitting at my husband's computer fixing a problem. After I finished, I went onto his myspace page and was looking around. Without even thinking, I went into his sent messages in his mailbox. I saw there that he had written a short letter to one of my ex-best friends. (Little background into what kind of person this girl is. She has two children by two different men. Shes single and VERY sexually active. She has lived with us (out of my pure generosity) about 4 times. I have seen her sleep with married men multiple times. She also enjoys sleeping with two men at the same time. Last year alone, she had THREE ABORTIONS! By THREE different men! And in my opinion, she is not the prettiest thing in this world. She is also a TERRIBLE friend. Hence the reason why she is an EX best friend. And she got that title BEFORE my husband did what he did. )

Anyway, I went into his sent messages and saw that he had sent her a message. I was just curious, because I TOTALLU trusted him. I opened the sent item and saw that he had told her "That pic is sexy as HELL!" I was SHOCKED! So I backed out and looked at the next sent message to her on his list. This one said "Where did you go? Melanie has left work and will be home soon." After reading this, I KNEW that something was up. So I went into his yahoo messenger and tried to look at his archives. Of course, they were empty. All of this time, my new best friend was sitting beside me and my husband was obviously pacing hoping that I wouldn't find anything. Well, being the computer hacker I am, I downloaded a program that will decode those hidden yahoo archives so that I can see them. By this time, my husband saw what I was about to do. Right when I got this program up and running, he started to violently PULL all of the cables out of the back of his computer and proceeded to take the computer tower out of the door and throw it in the back of his truck. At this point, I am SCARED and CONFUSED. Not knowing what happened was about to kill me. Later that night after much much maddness, he told me that he had asked her to have sex with him. He also said that he told her that I was LAZY in bed and that I didn't do it for him anymore. He has tried to lie his way out of this situation. He even DESTROYED this computer, (EXCEPT FOR HIS HARD DRIVE, HEHEHE). After all of this, he told me that he never meant it and that he would never have done anything with her. My philosophy is that if you make your bed, you sleep in it. It is hard for me not to bring it up as I feel nasty, used, strung along and not loved. But he gets SOOOO mad at me when I feel hurt and want to talk about it. He says that he is tired of hearing about it. PLEASE HELP!!!! I NEED AS MUCH ADVICE AS I CAN GET!!! I'm soooooo tempted to leave and get a divorce. I understand that he didn't actually do it but since he destroyed the computer, I feel that I am not able to get closure until I find out if everything that he has told me is actually EVERYTHING. Please someone!!! I need advice!!! Should I uproot my family?! PLEASE HELP!!!

[whichwayisup]

It's very obvious that he is having some sort of an affair with her. Either online or in person!

 

Either decide to fix the marriage, go to counselling together (and he has to give the exbestfriend the BOOT for good) or end the marriage. What a fool your husband is! He'd rather hide all the evidence and turn it on you, make YOU feel bad about what he did, rather than stand up, face the music and admit he f***ed up bad and make things right again with you.

[tikigods]

umm what more do you want to find out? He told you that he asked some "skank" to have sex with him, looked at sexy pictures of her, and even mentioned hwne you would be home and THEN when you got close to finding out even more destroyed the computer! I think its time to find a lawyer and fast

[Presario]

I think that not only had he asked for sex, but also got it. Why would he make that computer-removal scene if it would only show that he had no affair, and only wanted it? I have a gut feeling that he had sex with the ex-friend many times, and that the IM archive would prove it.

[jonesgirly]

You need to move to the 'infidelity' forum.

 

Sad, but true.

[Solachica]

He seemed rather intent on hiding something on tht computer.

Am sorry but like the others have said most likely he has cheated on you.

[Woggle]

Why would he want to cheat with somebody like that?

[southernmel1st]

Thankyou everyone for the helpful advice! I also believe that he has done it and that is why I am taking the hard drive to have the .DAT files pulled and decoded then copied to a CD. I'm also tempted to get a lawyer and just let him/her do it for me. That way I will have honest evidence in court. Even though he says that he has never done anything with her. Everyone that I talk to in person says the same things that you guys are telling me. They wonder why he would destroy the computer if that was all. That is what I truely feel inside as well. The way he so violently tried to hide the information takes me by surprise. Knowing the way that he destroyed the computer is making it hard for me to get over it without looking at the hard drive to find out if he is really telling me the truth. I just want to confirm that he has told me everything so that I can move on from here. Thanks for all of your advice and I welcome more good advice as well.