Whitt Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 My brother's friend from the army came to live with my parents this fall. My brother isn't into haning out with the guy and so my father asked me to take him out and show him around. My father really liked him and said I should give dating him. We flirted a little and got along pretty well. I thought he might be interested in dating me, but I wanted to take it slow since I just got out of a relationship. The other day my roommate (Who just moved in with me 2 weeks ago) tells me he has been asking her out. She said she wants to go out with him and was just seeing how I felt about it. I told her to go for it if that's what she wanted. Now I have to wake up every morning and see them sleeping on my couch together! I'm really mad at him and want him out of my life! What do I do?
Author Whitt Posted May 29, 2006 Author Posted May 29, 2006 Thanks for the advice - but I don't really see this as her fault. I don't she knew how I felt about him. Should I be mad at her? I am very confused. I feel mad kicking her out becasue she got rid or her dog and got a new job so that she could move in with me.
norajane Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 You can't be mad at either one of them. You told her to go for it, and you didn't tell her you were interested in the guy. You didn't tell him either. As far as they know, you were cool with the whole thing. There's really nothing you can do, but ride it out and try and be graceful and mature about it.
Curmudgeon Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Agreed! My suggestion was tongue-in-cheek. They can't help how they feel about one another and neither can you. Just put him behind you and the rest should follow smoothly.
Author Whitt Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 So, eventhough my roommate is not paying rent I should put up with him sleeping on my couch every night? He knew how I felt - she didn't.
Author Whitt Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 Also, she didn't ask my permission - she pretty much told me. I just want him out of my life - I don't think I should have to put up with him being here all the time. Does this require kicking her out? I didn't realize how strongly I'd feel abou it until he started staying the night at my apartment with her every night.
feelingsforbf Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Why are you letting your friend free load off you? I can understand if times were tough but if you are paying the bills you can do one of two things 1 tell her to get out, or 2 tell her since she isnt paying rent her new boy toy cant stay the night. The place is yours you do what you want with it. And as far as the friend decide how much do you value the friendship
Curmudgeon Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 You didn't say that in your original post. If she's merely using you as a convenience and since it's your home, you have every right to set the boundaries and that can include no overnight guests since that's contrary to your privacy in your own home. If he also eats, bathes and uses electricity there, your costs are going up even more than just having her freeloading. That she just permitted him in without your prior knowledge or permission shows a true lack of both consideration and character. Under those circumstances, I remove my tongue from my cheek and revert to my original suggestion.
Javelin Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 It's guys like this that make it hard for us good guys. Kick em' both out. You're too good for this crap.
YellowLioness Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 As far as I see it, you have several issues to deal with. 1) Your pride is hurt, nothing more. 2) Your friend is not paying you rent. This is not fair. 3) When you moved in with her, you should have set down clear rules in regards to boys and dating. In my opinion, if it is OK for boys to stay at your living space, it has to be that way for all boys, not just the ones you deem appropriate. It seems as if it was ok before your ego was injured by this guy picking your friend over you. Yes, it sucks, but it is not worth losing a friendship over. You'll just have to get over it. As for your roommate not paying rent, I'd treat that as more of a business agreement. She owes you money, and she should pay for the right to have a roof over her head and a comfortable place to sleep.
blue16 Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 It's guys like this that make it hard for us good guys. Kick em' both out. You're too good for this crap. What did he do wrong again?
Author Whitt Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 You didn't say that in your original post. If she's merely using you as a convenience and since it's your home, you have every right to set the boundaries and that can include no overnight guests since that's contrary to your privacy in your own home. If he also eats, bathes and uses electricity there, your costs are going up even more than just having her freeloading. That she just permitted him in without your prior knowledge or permission shows a true lack of both consideration and character. Under those circumstances, I remove my tongue from my cheek and revert to my original suggestion. Thanks. I asked her to find another place to stay and feel much better about myself. I also have been enjoying having my own place again.
Author Whitt Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 What did he do wrong again? I thought it was rather rude of him to: 1:date someone so close to me - knowing that I liked him 2:think that it would be okay to stay the night at my apartment (on my couch with her) and rub it in my face.
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