I hate myself for losing my husband!

[pink_butter2003]

i cheated on my husband, too, two years ago. he wanted to try again, even after he found out; but i wanted out. we got divorced that same year. like you, i regret cheating on him and to this day struggle with forgiving myself. even if i wanted out of that marriage, i still should never have cheated on him and there is absolutely no excuse for cheating. i went into counseling during that stressful time and i learned a few things which have helped me move on: nobody is perfect; we all make mistakes. i'm not making excuses for what i did. what i'm saying is- we are all humans and we each have weaknesses. i was like you. the romance between me and my ex was gone. after being married four years, and one of us working day shift while the other one worked night shift, the passion was gone and we were like strangers or, like he aptly put it- "like two ships passing each other in the night." i made the mistake of finding comfort and love somewhere else. then after it all came out, i felt horrible and guilty. i hated myself for hurting him, but at the same time, i did not want to go back to a marriage which i knew would not work out in the long run because me and him were so very different. my counselor helped me learn not to hate myself, not to be so hard on myself. you should try not to, either. it is enough that you realize your guilt and apologized to him. i am sorry he does not want to try again even if you are willing to. my advice to you would be to learn from this experience and to move on. do not drag yourself after him. some men can forgive, others cannot. this is just a reality of life. do not continue to hate yourself for what you did. the most important thing is that you have made things right with God and asked for His forgiveness. anytime we make a mistake, there is always a consequence. this i have learned. we need to take responsibility for our actions because sooner or later, whatever we are hiding will be found out. and when that time comes, we cannot run from the consequences; we just have to take whatever life hands over to us.

i thought it was wrong of him to run straight to his parents after he found out, rather than to confront you about it and for you guys to have a serious, heart-to-heart talk. apparently, this shows that his parents are more important than you. once a man leaves his parents and marries, i believe his wife should be more important than anything else. in your case, he did not even give you a chance to apologize in person. he just took off. to me, that is a sign of immaturity. i think when a couple gets married, they should resolve their problems by their own selves FIRST before running off to their parents. not that i approve of what you did (cheating on him), but i think you should take this chance to move on because this man appears to me to be quite immature, a "mommy's boy"- specially you mentioning that his mom threw you out and cussed you out. why did she have to do that? could he not speak for himself? why did his mom have to tell you these things? is he a little boy or what? that was your house, too, and no matter what you did, i don't think anybody should kick you out. you said you have a job; i'm sure you paid for a bunch of things in that house, too. yes, you were wrong, but do not let his family put you in a worse situation because you have rights, too. during the divorce proceedings, you will need to agree on who gets what. neither party can force the other out of the house.

i think you should be strong and move on. i am sorry again you feel so bad but in a way, i understand why you did what you did coz i have been there, too. take this chance to move on and gradually learn to forgive yourself. you don't need to be too hard on yourself. you already lost a baby and have been cussed out by his mom. don't sit around waiting for more punishment. move on with your life! you can make it. give yourself a break and maybe don't jump right back into the dating game for a while while you reset your priorities in life. whatever happens, know that YOU WILL MAKE IT and that GOD FORGIVES, so you should, too. hang in there, girl friend:) i made it through all that stress and drama, and i believe you will, too.

[JJRocks606]

Thank you very much for the honest advise. Sitting here with tears in my eyes, I truly feel like you understood what I went through. I still have a really hard time forgiving myself, I truly hate myself for what I did. I do understand though that he is vbery dependent on his mother, and we've spoken about that before... how invisible I feel, how I feel like his last priority, how he never defended me from anything... yet I cannot seem to stop loving him. We've had some rough times, butI really really love him. I'm still praying to God that he'll see just how much he means to me.

 

It's really comforting to know that I someone does understand. Going through miscarriage (esp. it was my first pregnancy), then a week later having to leave my own home and my husband, it's really hard to deal with the pain. I don't even know what hurts more... I just want to wake up and find that this is all a bad dream... that my baby is alive, and that my husband loves me.

[JJRocks606]

The inlaws butting in..... sometimes inlaws over step their bounds.

 

As in your case... Your husband is a weak man... He never cut the apron

strings from his mother. Therefore he was never a strong supportive man in your life to begin with...

 

If I had a penny for everytime I hear this, I'd be rich. Yet I love him with all of my being.

 

The right man will make you shine not run to another mans arms for attention you lack at home.

 

Thank you for the advise. I hope that I can forgive myself someday... and live a happy life...hopefully with my husband. May God bless you for your kind heart.

[Love Hurts]

You have been through alot... I think you need to be put some anitdepressant for a while............. please go to the Doctor.

Women can suffer post partum after the loss of a child. Add all you have been through. Too much....

 

Please go see your Dr. It would help you to settle and help you deal with the situation if you had a little help from medication for a short time.

Post partum is nothing to fool around with.

You are to weak and need more help than you know.

 

Do you know you have the right to walk back in your home?

Do you know you are still married and have a right to be in the same home as your husband.

Do you know you have the right to throw your mother n law out of your home on her ear?

 

Assertivness is missing here. I am disappointed that you let her throw you out of your home. How dare she.

Dear, dear.... you need alot of help....and guidance.

[JJRocks606]

It's really hard to go through everything alone. No one seems to understand, not even my mom. I don't know about antidepressants though. I fear that it will make me feel more like a loony for taking them. I have been so hateful of myself, and I can't come to terms with both the miscarriage and the separation. I fear that I can't deal with anything anymore...

 

As for my mother in law kicking me out, I have been biting my tongue for so long that I really don't know how to defend myself. My husband never defended me from her sharp tongue and thoughtless words. I guess when you've been put down for so long, it sticks with you. She has helped us financially when we were in need, it was like selling my soul to the Devil.

Yet I cannot stop loving my husband. I know I hurt him deeply, and he says that he wants closure from everything. I fear that I cannot go on without him.

 

People keep telling me that I'll find another man, and I'll have another baby, but really, I LOVE my husband. I don't want another man. And no matter how short the time was I had my baby inside me, I love my baby. No one seems to recognise the fact that my baby was alive. That he was a being, and that he died. Just because I never got to hold him, and got to know him, doesn't mean that he never existed. I can't even go to the grocery store without bawling when I see an infant or a pregnant woman. I end up running to my car and crying hysterically like a baby. I can never forgive myself for ruining my marriage, our life together, and what would have been.

 

I have gone through some sessions with a counsellor. I even went to our priest, and he couldn't help much either. I'm starting to believe that I am beyond help... and that God is punishing me for my sin...and that He took my baby because I am a horrible person, therefore an unsuited mother. I keep waking up in the morning thinking that this is not my life. That I'm not home, that this is all a bad dream.

[JJRocks606]

whatever happens, know that YOU WILL MAKE IT and that GOD FORGIVES, so you should, too. hang in there, girl friend:) i made it through all that stress and drama, and i believe you will, too.

 

I have another cloud of confusion to clear.... and I hope that someone can answer this for me.

I come to the house around once a week to slowly pick up the remainder of my stuff. Everytime I come there, my husband and I um, do stuff. We don't have sex, but we do other things. What's THAT about? Is it all just physical? Or does that mean he misses me? When one of my friends spoke to him, he says that he does, but he tries to distract himself from the lonliness. He says that he can never forgive me, that he wants closure, that this is over... yet when he looks into my eyes, I can feel that he loves me and that that he misses me. When I come to the house, we talk and talk and talk about everything under the sun... I'm really confused about this.

[pink_butter2003]

my heart goes out to you, my friend. i'm sitting here at my pc with tears running down my face as i type these lines. i wrote you the other day, but i did not mention that i once was pregnant, too. like you, i unfortunately lost that baby. don't think that no one understands how you feel about your baby. i think i have a pretty good idea how you feel and i wish i could sit with you and listen to you and hold you while you cry, coz i have been there, too. i lost mine in 1999, after only 8 weeks, and back then i was not even married yet; but do you know that those eight weeks were some of the most happy weeks of my entire life? i can remember how i glowed, how i was so very excited about the little life growing within me. at first, when i found out that i was positive, i was in shock, coz i did not expect that. and me coming from a conservative Christian family did not help things either; i did not know what i would tell my parents.

 

nevertheless, i was determined to have that baby, coz i believe all babies come from God, and grandparents always come around sooner or later. i remember getting up in the morning and feeling sick to my stomach, specially if i smelled bacon or anything greasy cooking. i remember feeling sleepy and lazy most days, and just wanting to curl up in bed and snooze on and off, then rising and having these strong cravings for green mango with fish sauce (i was in the philippines during this time). i remember feeling scared yet excited and full of hope and great expectations during those two months.

 

when i lost the baby, i remember plunging into such awful depths of despair, feeling this big, dark cloud hovering over me 24 hours a day and my heart breaking over and over ... i thought that was the end for me and that i would lose my mind like you, i thought God was punishing me, or that He did not think i was fit to be the mother of that child. it took me a long time to get over my grief; as a matter of fact, i still cry for my baby once in a while, to this day, 7 years later. i think, "My God, he could have been 6 years old this year!" (i feel it was a boy; can't explain it, but i really feel that that baby was a boy)

 

but time is a great healer. while i still miss this baby every now and then, i believe that God has plans for me, that He is not finished with me yet;) He is NOT finished with you either, my friend. i am very, very sorry for your loss, and i'm crying for you right now. i pray that you find peace and strength in the knowledge that others who have gone through what you are experiencing right now survived the darkness, healed and moved on. there are some things that happen to us that we will never understand in this life, but we need to be brave and go on believing that a better day will come.

 

think about this: i believe my baby is in heaven, just as yours is. would you want your baby to see you in this dark state of despair, starting to believe that God punished you, that he took your baby because you think you are a horrible person? i believe God is taking care of your baby up there in heaven; i know mine is flying around on cute, fluffy wings, chasing after butterflies, his laughter, like sunlight, warming other angels' hearts. it is sad we never got to meet them, but i find comfort in believing that my baby is in a safe, happy place, looking down on me. don't let your baby be sad for you, my friend. don't let him cry up there in heaven for you. wipe those tears away and for the sake of your baby's memory, move on. God will give you another baby someday, in His time.

 

for now, you really need to stop putting yourself down so much. if your husband loves you truly, he WILL come back. if he doesn't, then maybe he never really did love you. sorry if it hurts to hear that, but what i'm trying to say is this: you made a mistake, but you have repented and realized your wrong and have already had a terrible thing happen to you (losing the baby). i think true love also means forgiving, and if he cannot forgive you for the blunder you made, then that is not true love. (i'll tell you what true love is- it's my ex-husband forgiving me and wanting me to come back even AFTER he found out about the affair i had. he never once cussed me out and he was willing to go to counseling and start anew. i ran off with that guy for a few days, but then i had to come back for my stuff and there was my ex on the front porch, literally welcoming me back with open arms when he could have beat me up. now, THAT was true love. unfortunately, i did not want to go back and start over with him; but i had my reasons.)

 

please pick yourself up off the floor and find some trusted family, friends who can help you start healing. your baby is in a safe place, just as mine is. we will always remember them because they were a part of us, albeit for a short time, and we will always miss them, but for their sake, we must be strong and move on. i wish you the best, my friend. remember, you are not alone ... and God loves you.

[amerikajin]

I cheated on my husband and I regret it with my entire being. We are separated now and I don't know what to do!!!

 

Believe it or not, the separation itself might actually be a good thing for you right now. It might give both of you time to think about what you both really want from this relationship, and whether you both still have it in you to continue in spite of what has happened. Seperation, per se, isn't bad until the lawyers start getting involved - then you've got a problem that probably can't ever be fixed.

 

I think, though, that the only way you two have a shot at reconciliation is for your husband to be his own man at this point. He's got to keep his family out of it. Of course they're going to be angry and they're going to probably tell him to drop you; that he can do better than to put up with the likes of you yada yada yada! Try to talk to him and convince him to communicate with you directly and only for the time being.

 

I love him. He doesn't seem to understand that there are reasons behind what I did. I'm not justifying anything, I KNOW it was my fault and it was wrong, but my husband never paid attention to me, and the other man made me feel special and beautiful.

 

I mean no disrespect, but are you sure that this is really the case? Could it be that this is/was just how you perceived your marriage? You say you two have been married only two years? Did you notice these kinds of patterns when you were engaged, or did he just change the moment you two came back from your honeymoon? Are you sure that he doesn't do any of the chores or is it that maybe he doesn't do them right when you want him to? Or maybe he doesn't do them the way you'd do it? You say he stopped paying attention to you - is that really the case or does he have a lot going on at work? Maybe he's stressed out? Did you ever talk to him about these things?

 

I begged him to go for counselling, and he declined. He said he can never forgive me for what I did... and that's understandable. I can't even forgive myself, and I can't even look at the mirror without this feeling of disgust and self hatred.

 

Well, I disagree. As hurtful as it is, I think you can forgive someone who cheats on you; it's dishonest and hurtful, but there are worse things that could happen. If he can't at least forgive at some point, then frankly I have to wonder about his character. Sounds like the kind of guy who gets bitter and holds grudges.

 

Now, in his defense, the thing you have to understand is that whenever you cheat, you severely damage the trust in a relationship. How does he know for sure that you won't do this again? Well, truth is, he doesn't, and a part of him will probably wonder for a very long time whether or not you're cheating on him again. It's not that adultery is the most evil of all sins, it's that once you damage that trust, it is extremely hard for a marriage to function ever again. Trust is the cornerstone of a marital relationship. Take it away and the whole structure collapses. Even if things go well from this point forward, you have understand what you're up against here: the odds are indeed against you for this reason alone.

 

When my husband found out, he didn't come to me and confront me. He went over to his parents' house

 

For this reason, I think repairing your marriage is going to be extremely difficult, if not entirely out of the realm of possibility. You're basically at war with his family over who's going to influence him more, and that's a war you're probably not going to win. They're his "loyal, loving family," and for the time being, you're Hester Prynne wearing the scarlet letter A on your forehead. Who's he going to listen to?

 

A week later, his mom comes to our house and cursed me out, threw me out, and told me that our baby died because I'm not worthy to have his child.

 

Wow, sounds like a really classy lady.

 

I'm soooo broken hearted! I want my husband back.

 

As Solemate said, those same issues aren't going anywhere. And what's more, you've now got one more big issue added to the mix - his family. You can try to get him back but I'd start picking a point at which to cut your losses and just move on. I think that if lawyers get involved, it's time to just figure out a nice way out this (well, nice as possible anyway). Consider this a lesson - that cheating is not a good way to solve marital discord. Good luck.

[JJRocks606]

OMG WOW! I thought I was alone in this world. I too was craving green mangoes and fish sauce (I'm filipino)...that and smoked salmon with cream cheese. I too felt that my baby was a boy. My husband and I named him Giancarlo. I also picture him running around with toy cars and a puppy. I can't even imagine what I would feel like on the day of my due date (October 19)... that would've been the day I would've finally met this little angel growing inside me...I feel a bit of a relief knowing someone out there actually understands what I am going through.

It's true that those 13 weeks I was pregnant were really special. Everyone thought I had this glow, and I felt SOOOO blessed having this baby in me. And then on my routine check-up, we were suppose to hear the heartbeat, there was none. I took an HCG test and my hormones went down significantly...and then the bleeding got worse, and I was rushed to the emergency room. When I got my first period after the miscarriage, I bawled like a baby. It was like reliving the whole nightmare all over again.

You are also in my prayers. You don't know how much it means to that someone does understand.

Thank you.

[JJRocks606]

Thank you SO much for your insight on my situation. Maybe it this separation IS a good thing for my husband and I. It's really really really hard to see that right now, but in my heart I know this is a possibility.

 

I KNOW that I can never win the battle I have with his family. Even right now, as our lawyers communicate, I know SHE is calling the shots. There are times when I feel like there is ABSOLUTELY no hope for our marriage, solely because of this woman. I can never understand how she raised her children to be SO dependent on her, that they will be real lost without her. I mean, the man cannot even prepare himself a meal.

 

Yes, I did talk to my husband about the problems we were having in our marriage...WAY before I had my affair. Even 2 weeks before the wedding, when I almost backed out, because his mother demeaned me and my parents and my husband said NOTHING. Sometimes I feel like he should've married his mother.

 

Yes, he DID try to do some chores around the house. That I have to give him a bit of credit for. But he only did it occassionally. 99% of the time, I did everything around the house.

 

As of the trust factor, I completely agree with you on that. If it had been the other way around, I know I would turn into this jealous monster that would want to know where he was at all times, and who he's with. But at the same time, I know I would acknowledge the fact that there ARE problems in our marriage, and that we have to fix it. Not just run away to Mommy.

I guess I have to find out if he truly loves me. Right now, I'm just trying to bury myself in my work...I REALLY can't deal with anything anymore.

[pink_butter2003]

OMG! you're filipina? i am too well, still at work- but just thought i'd drop you a few lines to let you know again i continue to pray for you. i've been following this thing you're goin through and, for your sake, i really hope you guys work it out. i believe TIME is a great healer, and maybe this is what you guys need- time away from each other. and in his case- time by himself, away from parents who try to tell him what to do and strongly influence his decisions. i think, from what you said about you and him still doing stuff sometimes at your house, even while the divorce process is going on- to me, this means that there is still love in your relationship. the question is- HOW MUCH? how much love is still there? and is this love strong enough to steer him toward forgiving you completely, and giving you a second chance? i think- give him some time and space to think things over. and if you want him to see you are serious about wanting to start over and be true to him this time, don't date other guys for now, just step back for a while and give this whole thing time. and maybe, God-willing, your love for each other will be strong enough to weather this storm. goodluck, my friend, and let me just say that it's awesome to run into another filipina online, specially at loveshack. no wonder i always felt like i understood you we are kababayan;) hang in there!

 

joy

[ddnnee]

if i had a wife and she cheated on me, i'd drop her instantly, even without outside influence. The reason is the girl's nature. if she can cheat to begin with, then there's a possibility she will cheat again in the future... I am a guy who needs a wife that i can trust. I need to trust her with my life because she will be the mother of our child and if i cannot trust this woman, then what will our child be like? Besides that, I need a person who will support me emotionally etc etc... through life. But a cheating wife have already took the trust and placed it with another man, so you see what i mean?

 

besides, a damaged relationship will never be the same. If you have time, goto the "second chances" section of this website and read on how many success and failure stories people have gone through. From my sampling, i found that most advices turn out to be "move on" because second chances usually never work out.

 

Your current relationship maybe too damaged by now and it's best to leave and try again... and don't cheat next time. If you plan to cheat next time, then instead of having a dedicated love relationship... have a fwb relationship instead and/or have bf/gf relationships. In these short termed relationship, the man usually treats the girl well and gives them plenty of attention, the same reason you used because your husband did not pay enough attention to you.

 

life is full of experiences and this is just one of them. Learn the mistake and move on.

 

For the happy advice:

If you weren't happy with him to start with, then it is best to find another man who cares instead of sitting there watching tv. Obviously you need a man who gives you the attention equivilent to the attention given during dating. SO... your current husband isn't the guy. Why try to go back to something you were unhappy with in the first place? "Don't worry, be happy!" life is long.

[bounty]

Listen, I was married foe 13 years to my first (dummy)Oh!! excuse me WIFEY@ @ AND she cheated on me she said I was never there

< for her!! I am a MAN and guess, what!!!! she was right!

...........

 

after I & ME & MY little head realised that it was toooooo late she started going out to clubs bars and even finding intrest in other men because , yes they gave her what I DID NOT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we were high school sweethearts! any way!!!!!!! STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DECISION!!! A SINCERE MAN GAVE YOU WHAT YOU man DIDNT ATTENTION!!!!! IF YOU ARE A GOOD LOYAL, AND HONEST,DEVOTED WIFE>> AND HE IS TTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID TO APRECIEATE YOU YES ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TELL HIM AND HIS MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YOU WILL FIND A MAN THAT CAN BE THERE FOR YOU IF HE LOVES YOU THEN HE WILL MAKE TIME !!!!!!!!!

RULE #1.... FAMILY

RULE #2...... HONOR WIFE

RULE # 3...... WORK AND EVERY THING ELSE.......WITH OUT FAMILY AND WIFE AND LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER................WHY BE MARRIED???

 

 

BOUNTY....

 

 

PS... COURAGIOUS,,,,& ,, I GIVE YOU MY RESPECT..... AT LEAST YOU ,,,,,, YES YOU CONFESSED..... TO ...I..GUESS CHEATING OR IS IT BEING TREATED LIKE THE WOMAN YOU ARE???ANY WAY ASK FOR FORGIVNESS......TEL HIS MOMMY AND FAMILY TO NCLEAN UP THEIR OWN BACK YARD & LEAVE YOURS TO YOU AND HUBBY TELLLLLLLLLLLLLL THEMMMMMMM OR THEY WILL HAUNT YOU ( TRUST ME)...............GOOD LUCK STAY HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bounty]

If a real man can not give his wife mother of hiss

----- children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! time why have a family?????? sure she cheated she neeeeeeeedddddddssssss attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if its 5 minutes in am. & 15 minutes pm....w/o sex.... I give my woman ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME SHE NEEDSSSSSSSS AND IT IS WONDERFULL WE HAVE IT ALL I WORK 63 HRS A WEEK SHE WORKS 45 WE HAVE A 13 YR..OLD DAUGHTER.......... W E HAVE A LIFE EVEN W/ALL WORK HOURS IF YOU WANT IT IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF HE WANTS HIS MOMMY TELL HIM TO GO HOME TO HER ,,,,, HE CHOSE TO MARRY B A MAN

[bounty]

Listen, I was married foe 13 years to my first (dummy)Oh!! excuse me WIFEY@ @ AND she cheated on me she said I was never there

< for her!! I am a MAN and guess what!!!! she was right!

...........

 

after I & ME & MY little head realised that it was toooooo late she started going out to clubs bars and even finding intrest in other men because , yes they gave her what I DID NOT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we were high school sweethearts! any way!!!!!!! STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DECISION!!! A SINCERE MAN GAVE YOU WHAT YOU man DIDNT ATTENTION!!!!! IF YOU ARE A GOOD LOYAL, ANDHONEST,DEVOTED WIFE>> AND HE IS TTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID TO APRECIEATE YOU YES ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TELL HIM AND HIS MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YOU WILL FIND A MAN THAT C AN BE THERE FOR YOU IF HE LOVES YOU THEN HE WILL MAKE TIME !!!!!!!!!

RULE #1.... FAMILY

RULE #2...... HONOR WIFE

RULE # 3...... WORK AND EVEY THING ELSE.......WITH OUT FAMILY AND WIFE AND LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER................WHY BE MARRIED???

 

 

 

 

 

PS... COURAGIOUS,,,,& ,, I GIVE YOU MY RESPECT..... AT LEAST YOU ,,,,,, YES YOU CONFESSED..... TO ...I..GUESS CHEATING OR IS IT BEING TREATED LIKE THE WOMAN YOU ARE???ANY WAY ASK FOR FORGIVNESS......TELL HIS MOMMY AND FAMILY TO CLEAN UP THEIR OWN BACK YARD & LEAVE YOURS TO YOU AND HUBBY... .TELLLLLLLLLLLLLL THEMMMMMMM OR THEY WILL HAUNT YOU ( TRUST ME)...............GOOD LUCK STAY HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bounty]

he misses me? one of my friends does, from the lonliness. never forgive me, that he wants closure, that this is over...

yet when he looks into my eyes, I can feel that he loves me and that that he misses me.

you damn right he misses you!!!!!!! do not do it again and make him believe you and you belive yourself!!! love him he does need a little space I said a little NOT WITHN FAMILY WORST POSSIBLE THING ask him over ffor a nice dinner be **** creative***** use your woman ways OH hugh [ a little over the top wont hurt either your choice ////////////////////////////////////////////////////

good luck

bounty

[JJRocks606]

hi joy.

thanks for your prayers and concern kababayan. I'm trying to take everyone's advise by giving him space. It's really hard being away from the one I love, but if that's what it takes to give my marriage some hope, then I will bear with the pain.

As for the dating part, I'm not really looking forward to any of that. I know it will take a seriously long time to heal these wounds.

How did you deal with the pain? I'm sure you had your reasons why you didn't stay with your husband. But that doesn't mean that you didn't hurt for the marriage.

Thank you again my friend.

[JJRocks606]

you damn right he misses you!!!!!!! do not do it again and make him believe you and you belive yourself!!! love him he does need a little space I said a little NOT WITHN FAMILY WORST POSSIBLE THING ask him over ffor a nice dinner be **** creative***** use your woman ways OH hugh [ a little over the top wont hurt either your choice ////////////////////////////////////////////////////

good luck

bounty

 

thank you for insight, bounty. it's good to hear your side. you said that your wife cheated on you for the same reasons I had, how long did it take for you to realise that? Coz right now, my husband cannot seem to understand that, He's really focused on the part that he is the victim here, and I'm the wicked old witch that made him miserable. It's mostly true, but never once did he ask why, where, who, WHY... he never did ask ANYTHING...

I AM trying to give him the space needed...I guess this is all in the hands of fate.