Hurt, Annoyed

[truesome]

I have three best friends who i have asked to be my bridesmaids for my wedding.

 

Friend 1 said no because she didn't want to be criticised by her mum. She is single and her mum has told her that being a bridesmaid will jinx her from ever getting a boyfriend. Her mum is forever pestering her about her single status and making her feel like there's something "wrong" with her for being single (she's never had a boyfriend). So I kind of understand why she doesn't want to add fuel to her mum's comments. HOWEVER, her mum knows me and knows that we are great friends. When I asked her to be a bridesmaid, I asked if she would consider it and maybe try to explain to her mum why she would do this. Friend 1 said she would try. A few weeks later when I hadn't got a response from her, I asked her if she had made up her mind yet. She said No, she couldn't be my bridesmaid, but fact is, she hadn't even thought any further of it and neither had she tried to talk about it with her mum.

 

So, with Friend 1 I'm disappointed that she didn't make some effort at least.

 

Move on to Friend 2. She has constantly said how I am her closest friend etc etc and that I'm like a sister to her. Anyway, a few weeks after saying she would be my bridesmaid, she told me that she can't anymore, cos she may not even be around for my wedding at that time! What happened is that her mum's sister is getting married overseas and all her family from different countries is going to be there. She hasn't seen them for 20 odd years, so she thought it would be a great opportunity to catch up with everybody at the wedding.

 

I would understand if the wedding was at the same time as my wedding - she can't be at both weddings at the same time and i wouldn't expect her to put me over family. BUT her relative's wedding is in early October..I'm not getting married till November!! I could even understand that she wants to take the opportunity to stay overseas for a bit longer so that she can catch up with her relos properly. But, there's a whole month between her family's wedding and mine. I would be really pis@ed off if she came back just a few days after my wedding...because if that was the case, and she was the "close" friend she professes to be, then couldn't she come back just a few days earlier???? Or, what about spending some time with her family BEFORE the wedding?

 

Anyway, I even suggested to her that since she hasn't 100% confirmed her travel dates, I could hold the bridesmaid spot in "reserve" in case she can make it back cos I really want her to be at my wedding. But I got the impression that she's already made up her mind she won't get back in time.

 

So anyway, I kind of told her i was disappointed, but more in the circumstances, rather than overtly saying I was disappointed in her. I don't want to be pushy (making her feel like she has to change plans for me) or desperate but the fact is, I am hurt and disappointed by what I think is a situation which may be able to be compromised around IF she really wanted to come back.

 

Thankfully, Friend 3 is still in..and has said that she would never pike out cos it's important that she share in my wedding.

 

What I'm annoyed about is not the fact that Friend 2 can't make it to my wedding, these things happen, but the fact that I don't think she's even tried to think of a way where she can go overseas to see her family AND come to my wedding. like i said, there's a whole month in between, and I KNOW for a fact that she won't be going overseas for more than a few weeks, cos of work and finances...And if it's just a few more days here and there, I don't understand why she can't come back. Obviously, her priority on the friendship is not as much as I thought it was.

 

They both know I am disappionted, but it's not exactly the situation where i can make a fuss over it, or bring it up without seeming to push them into something they don't want to do. I guess, the real hurt is not in the fact that they said no, but the apparent lack of genuine attempt to make it work.

 

Am i being too sensitive?

[Love Hurts]

The overseas wedding... travel greeting new and old relatives.

 

 

Your not accepting her saying politley, I have enough on my plate for the time being.

 

If your first bridesmaid was able to be in the wedding you would be ok with #2 not being able to. Hence only short one bridesmaid.

 

However #2 is taking the blunt of #1 as well as herself for being able to be in the wedding..

 

I think you are being too sensitive... things do not always work out the way we plan.

 

Replace the two missing bridesmaids with cousins or females from your fiances side of the family... I am certain there others that would love to be a part of your wedding...

 

Congratulations! In advance. Best Wishes . Enjoy