thomas_moore Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 It's my gf's birthday in 3 weeks and she wants a get together with alot of her friends and people she knows at our apartment. As far as I know her ex bf has been invited and it's not sitting to well in my stomach. For starters I don't like the guy at all. He's a sleezball, can't keep a job at 33, treated my gf like crap when they were together and got her into drugs. (She doesn't do anything anymore since we've been together (4months now ) She remained friends with him because she said he was there for her. Almost daily she'll tell me "I talked to Matt today" which drives me crazy. He calls her or txt's her almost daily and she'll call him sometimes. I've brought it up a few times in the 4 months we've been together that it it bothers me she still talks to him but to her he's a good friend. Yeh, I'd love it if she didn't call him or txt him but once I start saying that I look like a jealous bf right? But anyways, when I think about everyone over at our apartment and that guy there talking with her, thoughts start flowing through my head. Am I in the right to ask her not to let him come? To let her know how I feel about it? Will I come over as being insecure and jealous? thx Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 It's my gf's birthday in 3 weeks and she wants a get together with alot of her friends and people she knows at our apartment. As far as I know her ex bf has been invited and it's not sitting to well in my stomach. For starters I don't like the guy at all. He's a sleezball, can't keep a job at 33, treated my gf like crap when they were together and got her into drugs. (She doesn't do anything anymore since we've been together (4months now ) She remained friends with him because she said he was there for her. Almost daily she'll tell me "I talked to Matt today" which drives me crazy. He calls her or txt's her almost daily and she'll call him sometimes. I've brought it up a few times in the 4 months we've been together that it it bothers me she still talks to him but to her he's a good friend. Yeh, I'd love it if she didn't call him or txt him but once I start saying that I look like a jealous bf right? But anyways, when I think about everyone over at our apartment and that guy there talking with her, thoughts start flowing through my head. Am I in the right to ask her not to let him come? To let her know how I feel about it? Will I come over as being insecure and jealous? thx You have justification, this guy is "a good friend to her" that should tell you about the type of person she is, according to you this guy got her into drugs and treated her bad..so why would she want to continue a friendship with this guy? why would she want him at her birthday party? Let her know right away that you dont want him to attend before its too late (like the day of the party) and if she throws a fit over it then obviously she isn't the one for you. Girls who are so non-chalant about talking to their ex bf's(ones they supposedly bad mouthed to you) are trouble, her ex should not be there, so yeah. Tell her you arent comfortable with her still talking to her ex and definitely not with him coming over Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 "our" apartment -- but your g/f is bringing a dude she used to bang into "your" apartment. Second, you two are sharing an apartment after 4 months? Just tell her calmly that you don't think that's a good idea. Don't get upset about it, just explain how you see things (not how you feel). If she insists, frankly that is a pretty good indication of where you rank with your g/f. Link to post Share on other sites
SmittenSexyKitten Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I would feel the same way - tell her that you won't enjoy the celebration with him there and you'd really like to be a part of it - the choice is hers Link to post Share on other sites
UNsureCda Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Maybe she is not over him yet Link to post Share on other sites
Sevenmack Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Maybe she is not over him yet Bingo. People don't remain friends with their exes unless they're looking to keep whatever flickers of the old flame alive. He shouldn't be at her birthday party; she should have never invited him considering that she's in a new relationship. Apparently she has little respect for the relationship she has with you. At the least, you should let her know that his presence isn't welcome. More importantly, she needs to make a choice: Does she want a relationship with you or with him? It can't be a menage a trois. Link to post Share on other sites
ronnieromance Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 It also sounds as if you may be somewhat intimidated by the thought of him. -R- Link to post Share on other sites
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