Jealousy

[Mark]

I need some help. I have a problem with jealousy that I never had before. I have been married for 6 years and am recently divorced. I am currently dating a woman who I have known for about 4 years and we have always been friends. She treats me wonderful, but I find myself doubting her,her intentions and her faithfulness. She has never given me a reason too, but I do it anyway. I also try to be a little bit of a control freak and I know that I am dooming what can be a terrific relationship.

 

Neither of these actions are in my nature and they are really hard to get under control. Any advice would be of great assistance.

 

Thanks

 

Mark

[me]

What was the reason for the divorce in the first place? I bet the divorce whether if you see it or not, really hurt ya down deep and you are a fraid to lose this one too. Trust is the only thing that you can show. Give this one a chance to prove she's faithful.

I need some help. I have a problem with jealousy that I never had before. I have been married for 6 years and am recently divorced. I am currently dating a woman who I have known for about 4 years and we have always been friends. She treats me wonderful, but I find myself doubting her,her intentions and her faithfulness. She has never given me a reason too, but I do it anyway. I also try to be a little bit of a control freak and I know that I am dooming what can be a terrific relationship. Neither of these actions are in my nature and they are really hard to get under control. Any advice would be of great assistance. Thanks Mark

[Mark]

Thanks for the advice. The reason I got divorced was because we grew apart. She kept on tearing me down to the point I had no self-esteem. I begged her to stop because I didn't want to destroy what little bit we did have, but she kept ignoring me and the situation and it exploded into a nightmare.

 

You are right I am afraid of losing her and last night I almost did. She has just been hired by a large corporation and is out of town for new hire training. She is trying to do her best and I acted like a really ass last night. I feel so stupid. I am taking my soulmate and slowly ripping her apart.

 

But one thing good came out of last night. I have made a commitment to not act this way anymore and give her the opportunity and the respect of being an individual. I realized last night that I was sounding just like my Ex. I was trying to tear her down so that I could control her. I know that now. It was like I was standing outside myself and seeing an absolute fool acting like a freak.

 

Unfortunately I can't ever take back what I said, but I can commit to never falling into this behavior again. I have prayed for strength and I know that my prayers have been answered. I woke up this morning with a new outlook on life and this situation and your response confirmed what I was already thinking. Again thanks.

What was the reason for the divorce in the first place? I bet the divorce whether if you see it or not, really hurt ya down deep and you are a fraid to lose this one too. Trust is the only thing that you can show. Give this one a chance to prove she's faithful.

[Lacey]

Thank you so much for your response; need help now. It seems that we are each on the other side of a common prolblem. My boyfriend would always say that i was to good to be true due to the fact that in all his past relationships the girl had done something to hurt him. Now there is me in his life. My best advice to you is if you have a good thing don't do anything to jeapordize losing that great thing. It is like I always tell my boyfriend the greatest gifts in life are the ones that come from the heart a little flower that you saw and reminded you of her a card with a sweet letter just to say that you care. It is these little things that add up and in a subtle way show that you care. I never expected anything from him on my birthday but a card or affection which he seems to fail to give would have been sufise. I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend I try to treat him the way I want to be treated so always keep in mind: how would you feel if the other said or did that to you and if you wouldn't like that then don't do it. The golden rule do unto others as you would have done to you is a good thing to keep in mind. Plus you will never know what kind of love that you can have until you let go and make yourself vulnerable.

 

Lacey