nearly 3 years - is this normal?

[mLynne]

i've been together with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. we went to high school together and now we are off separated in different cities that are 2 hours apart. we live with our parents. we were friends ever since 7th grade and got with each other 11th grade. now, i'm in college. at the end of my senior year i was at the hospital. he confessed to me one night in the hospital, while keeping me company, that he was thinking of another girl. i tripped about it of course. i guess i kept on buggin him about it that he was still thinking of her. i guess me insisting that he liked her turned out he liked her. when we talked it out he told me that he doesnt like her and he only said that because he was mad. things were going fine for about a few months. there werent anything fighting or arguments. i brought up that other girl if he still thinks about her. he tells me he does a little. i dont know if this is normal. is it possible to think about another person and have no feelings?

[Sadly]

Its normal to a certain degree. For example, we often think about our ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, but necesarly keep having feelings for them. If he thinks about her 24/7, then that is not normal, you should be in his mind just about 24/7.

[norajane]

He laid this on you while you were in the hospital ??? Nice guy you have there.

 

It's normal to be attracted to all kinds of people. Just becasue you are in a relationship doesn't mean you automatically stop being attracted to others. Also, his attraction doesn't mean SHE is attracted to him, so it could be just something he used to make you jealous when he was "mad" at you.

 

But if he can't stop thinking about her, is considering acting on his attraction, or is re-considering his desire to be in a committed relationship at his age, then it's a much bigger deal.