havent posted in a while..

[CantDecide...]

my aplogies for the long entry, but if u read i could please use the advice.

 

 

hey guys i need some advice. About a year ago, actually 11 months ago yesturday, my ex and i broke up after a 2 year relationship. In a nutshell we broke up, for a lot of reasons, but some of the reasons where, we were taking eachother for granted, and just in some way needed a break from one another and needed to find out who we were as single people.

 

When we first broke up i tried getting her back i tried, and tried, and tried. and i basically scared her away and she ran. eventually we stopped talking all together. around january her and i slowly began talking somewhat, u know like once a week type stuff. it oviosly slowly progressed and now we talk atleast everday. also we work in the same place now. and we hang out usually once a week sometimes more, and ocaisonally we end up hooking up now and then.

 

About 3 weeks ago however, her and i got into a small argument over a nother girl, and hadnt really talked in a few weeks. she broke the ice and came over and we talked and what not, and made up. she said things like, god im also just upset becasue i feel like every1 is paired up around me. and what not. things of that nature.

 

Now i still really care for this girl, and yea i gues i do want her back. i just have this feeling liek somethign has been missing for the last year, (and dont get me wrong her and i have gone out and done the single thing). I know if i come right out and tell her i miss her, and still care for her, etc etc im taking a major risk of her running away again and becoming scared. and losing any chances i might have. but what do u guys think, how would you aproach this situation? somebody told me just slowly ease my way in like doing nice things for her, trying to set up alone time or w.e to hang out. i just really still care for this girl, and am a little confused about what to do.

 

 

thank you for any thoughts, ideas, or advice

[CantDecide...]

anybody got any thoughts?

[Brittanyjean06]

Was this a mutual break up? Doesn't seem like it was such a horrible break up. A year has passed and ya'll kept in touch?

 

If that is the case, I think there are chances of you guys getting back together...But if it hasn't happend now, than I don't know if it will.

 

I know you guys still careful eachother, if not than you both woulden't have gotten in a argument.

 

If you still truely care for her, You need to talk to her matturely and tell her that, tell her that time is going by to fast and if you guys can be happy together than Why not? She still cares for you, and you still care for her.

 

If she shuts you down on getting back together, than you need to stop trying..if you stop trying she will see that, and slowly hopefully come back to you.

 

Hope that helps

[GB111]

What are you not getting that you want from her? Sounds like you're going out, hooking up, talking daily, etc., etc. Sounds pretty much like a girlfriend to me. So you haven't made it "official". So what? What do you want?

 

GB

[CantDecide...]

Im not really sure what i want. like yea we talk everday and hangout atleast1c twice a week, but like i just miss the commitment i gues you could say. like the times we chill and dont hook up or arent evan flirty, i dont like those times. and when ur not official, you know i cant just like grab her hand as we walk or w/e, things liek that.

 

Im just very afraid if i tell her how i feel im taking a risk at scaring her away, and her being like maybe its a bad idea we hook up etc etc. cuz im not gonan lie, i dont wanan get rid of that, lol i mean i know i dont have much with her now, but i feel like its something. i gues i gota wait for the right time to tell her. I gues im mostly im afraid cuz last tiem around last summer, i was so in her face with everything. like all the time talking about us getting back. i mean this time around its a lot diferent, ive learned quite a bit, since then. ahh its just so confusing.

 

thanks for the replies, i apreciate it.

[Guest]

Can't Decide,

 

You are the definition of a "friend with benefits". Not a bad designation if you can mentally handle it yet it appears that you are emotionally tormented on a daily basis. Not a great thing to go through and something I believe will end up very badly for you. I say approach her and tell her how you feel. If she gets scared off, its probably best to know now and for you to move on to greener pastures.

[CantDecide...]

yea i gues thats a good way to put it. its wierd most of the time i can handle it. and evan when i cant its never any like major pain i feel. I never feel depressed anymore, like i usto. I dont have those lasting gut pains u all know what im talking about, when ur heart is in your stomach. I gues the worst thing that could happen is if i didnt say anything and she got somebody else. i gues the best thing for me to fo is just wait for the best time and tell her. Ironically i read the other day that, if u have feelings for somebody let them know before its to late, becasue if u dont ulle never know what could have been if u did say something. I gues im just scared thats all.

[Guest]

Cant Decide,

 

You don't feel the pit in your stomach feeling yet because she is still currently in your life in some capacity. Emotions are involved (if you are still hoping to get back with her) and you are kidding yourself if you think you are not gaining lots of hope by being with her physically. Don't get sucked in.....I just got out of it where I did everything for this woman after our initial breakup hoping it would sway her my way. We did the couple thing without the formalization aspect......and unfortunately the moment I questionned an issue she ran away telling me that she could not envision give me 100 percent and that the sex was blurrying her vision. It hurts like hell for the second time now. I now know that we should all just find people who want to share the same feelings as we have for them. Good luck.