I have suspisions...

[Jennifer]

I am beginning to have suspicions that my boyfriend might have had some kind of inappropriate contact with minors. Sam is in his late fifties and divorced after over 20 years of+ years of marriage. I am in my mid thirties.

 

One of his past girlfriends was in her twenties and another was around my age. He used to work as a teacher for special needs children.

 

I have suspcions that there might have been something strange going on with him and this fifteen-year-old girl named Anna who used to be his neighbor.

 

His story goes like this:

 

Anna and her mother were were poor ex-soviet immigrants who were very poor. He helped them alot when they first came, and this Anna (who was 13 at the time)developed a crush on him and whenever he came over to their place she used to sit on his lap and kiss him. She asked him if he could be her father because she never knew her own and he accepted. He told me how he used to give Anna lots of gifts, but she never appreciated them and started taking advantage of his good nature, then she even started asking him for money, as that's what "father's" do. At that point he told her he didn't want to be her father anymore because he couldn't afford to give her money, so he changed that status to "uncle".

 

Once Anna's mother blew up at him for brining Anna home late from school or some sort of outing. After this he decided to cut all ties to their relationship because he coldn't stand conflict, but Anna wrote him letters begging him to have her mother and her back as friends. In one letter she said he was like God. He eventually resumed contact with Anna and her mother, and Anna confided everything in him. This Anna would tell him all about her boyfriends and even talk about her sexual adventures with other boys.

 

Right now Anna only calls him or visits him if she needs something, or has a problem to discuss. If he calls her she can sometimes be very rude if she is busy

 

The thing I find really strange (I've never met these people)is that this Anna "hates" me and even accused him of spening all his money on me! He was at Anna and her mother's house for dinner a couple of weeks ago and told them he would like to introduce me to them and Anna's reaction was. "If she comes over I'm leaving home!"

 

Once Anna came over to his place without phoning, asked for dinner which he made her. Then she asked for money for shoes and he told her he couldn't afford it, so do you know what she did? She kicked him in the stomach and he told her to leave and she refused, then she told him that if he was "bad" to her she could be "bad" to him. When I heard about this I became furious and told my boyfriend he should inform the police that this teenager could try to black-mail him but he got upset with me and said, "Let me deal with this with my own brain. I know more about this than you do!"

 

Do you think there is more to this? I just don't understand this girl's behaviour and her reactions and this problem with her seems to be coming between our relationship. Do your gut instincts tell you anything about this, or is my imagination getting way beyond control?

[Ed]

This is a really strange story.

 

It is certainly possible that he has had some kind of inappropriate (possibly illegal) relationship with this child. It is also possible that this child is simply psychotic. Whatever the case may be, you don't seem too happy with the way he is handling this situation. I wouldn't be either.

 

If he has victimized someone, he should be brought to justice. If he is being victimized, he should put a stop to it, NOW. Either way, he is caught up in a mess that I would not want to be a part of. It sounds like you are fed up with it too.

 

If he is concerned about the welfare of this child, the extent of his involvement should go no further than referring her mother to a family services agency or by contacting the police himself. If he wants to be more involved than that, then maybe there is more to this picture than he is telling you. If so, you would probably be better off if you stayed away from him and them.

 

If you are concerned for this child's welfare and you think that something illegal may have occurred, the best thing for you to do is report it to the police and stay as far away from him as you can.

[Jennifer]

If he has victimized someone, he should be brought to justice.

 

If this is true, how can I get proof of this and what justifications do I have to do this? Aren't some of the characeristics of pedophile that they can't help talking about certain aspects of their behaviour?

 

Why do you think this child has such an aversion to me to go as far as to threaten that she will leave home if I come over? Another thing that really bothers me is that she compared him to God in one of her letters...I would really like to talk to this girl, meet her and make her understand that I am not against her and that I am concerned about her welfare, but should I go about this?

[June]

This man's profile fits one of a pedophile. I would STAY AWAY from him and inform a social service agent about this girl.

[moldy donut]

Do you think there is more to this? I just don't understand this girl's behaviour and her reactions and this problem with her seems to be coming between our relationship. Do your gut instincts tell you anything about this, or is my imagination getting way beyond control?

 

One word response. DUH! You're a grown woman, you can't see there's something very unhealthy, very strange, very suspicious about all of this?

 

My guess is that this girl is his real daughter but he is keeping that from you.

 

Didn't you used to post here before, telling us stories about how this crusty old goober was controlling and rude? Can't believe your still with him.

 

Yes, something is going on. Why would you want to be with an old fart who keeps secrets and gives money to other women and their kids and puts up with their kids kicking them and all this other jazz? And I thought he was in his 60's?

 

I think you need to get a clue, after tossing Grampa Whacko to the curb.

I am beginning to have suspicions that my boyfriend might have had some kind of inappropriate contact with minors. Sam is in his late fifties and divorced after over 20 years of+ years of marriage. I am in my mid thirties. One of his past girlfriends was in her twenties and another was around my age. He used to work as a teacher for special needs children. I have suspcions that there might have been something strange going on with him and this fifteen-year-old girl named Anna who used to be his neighbor. His story goes like this: Anna and her mother were were poor ex-soviet immigrants who were very poor. He helped them alot when they first came, and this Anna (who was 13 at the time)developed a crush on him and whenever he came over to their place she used to sit on his lap and kiss him. She asked him if he could be her father because she never knew her own and he accepted. He told me how he used to give Anna lots of gifts, but she never appreciated them and started taking advantage of his good nature, then she even started asking him for money, as that's what "father's" do. At that point he told her he didn't want to be her father anymore because he couldn't afford to give her money, so he changed that status to "uncle".

 

Once Anna's mother blew up at him for brining Anna home late from school or some sort of outing. After this he decided to cut all ties to their relationship because he coldn't stand conflict, but Anna wrote him letters begging him to have her mother and her back as friends. In one letter she said he was like God. He eventually resumed contact with Anna and her mother, and Anna confided everything in him. This Anna would tell him all about her boyfriends and even talk about her sexual adventures with other boys. Right now Anna only calls him or visits him if she needs something, or has a problem to discuss. If he calls her she can sometimes be very rude if she is busy The thing I find really strange (I've never met these people)is that this Anna "hates" me and even accused him of spening all his money on me! He was at Anna and her mother's house for dinner a couple of weeks ago and told them he would like to introduce me to them and Anna's reaction was. "If she comes over I'm leaving home!" Once Anna came over to his place without phoning, asked for dinner which he made her. Then she asked for money for shoes and he told her he couldn't afford it, so do you know what she did? She kicked him in the stomach and he told her to leave and she refused, then she told him that if he was "bad" to her she could be "bad" to him. When I heard about this I became furious and told my boyfriend he should inform the police that this teenager could try to black-mail him but he got upset with me and said, "Let me deal with this with my own brain. I know more about this than you do!"

 

Do you think there is more to this? I just don't understand this girl's behaviour and her reactions and this problem with her seems to be coming between our relationship. Do your gut instincts tell you anything about this, or is my imagination getting way beyond control?

[moldy donut]

Oh brother.

 

"Why do you think this child has such an aversion to me to go as far as to threaten that she will leave home if I come over? Another thing that really bothers me is that she compared him to God in one of her letters...I would really like to talk to this girl, meet her and make her understand that I am not against her and that I am concerned about her welfare, but should I go about this?"

 

What the hell do you care what this brat thinks of you? You've already admitted that you've never even met her. How does her opinion of you affect you or your relationship with Grampa Whacko? Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, geez.

 

2 reasons she has an aversion to you:

 

1) he is her father, and like any kid whose dad is no longer with their mother/is with someone else, she resents you becuz he's with you and not her mom. Get it?

 

2) they have some type of inappropriate, illegal relationship going on ......and she's jealous of you.

 

Ever consider that maybe he gave them all this money and help because he was getting some kind of sexual favors in return?

 

You must thrive on weirdness, drama and chaos. Why don't you go meet a nice guy your own age, down at Dunkin' Donuts or the local Bowling Alley.

 

If this is true, how can I get proof of this and what justifications do I have to do this? Aren't some of the characeristics of pedophile that they can't help talking about certain aspects of their behaviour? Why do you think this child has such an aversion to me to go as far as to threaten that she will leave home if I come over? Another thing that really bothers me is that she compared him to God in one of her letters...I would really like to talk to this girl, meet her and make her understand that I am not against her and that I am concerned about her welfare, but should I go about this?