MTK Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Out of curiosity, what women have seem a noticable improvement/change with your ex that made you think twice? Or not? It seems like a lot of guys are posting in hopes of 2nd chances with women being the dumpers. Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Out of curiosity, what women have seem a noticable improvement/change with your ex that made you think twice? Or not? It seems like a lot of guys are posting in hopes of 2nd chances with women being the dumpers. I'm a guy but I can tell you the changes that my ex saw that made her consider trying again. I was clingy in the relationship which caused her to break up with me. My clinginess was the root of the constant arguing we had. I wanted my way all the time. I called her too many times per day. I was overly apologetic. I told her how I was crazy about her. I think this all smothered & suffocated her. When she broke up with me it took me a couple weeks to start applying NC. I applied it for 32 days. That means no contact initiated from my side. She would call a few times and sometimes I answered, sometimes not. We met in person about 4 days after I broke NC. During that time was when I worked on my clingy issues. I started to dive into hobbies independently and spend more time with friends, working out in the gym, putting more hours in at work. I was also clean cut and she saw that when we met up. She saw how confident and cool I was. She saw how I wasn't pursuing her or pushing her into doing what I wanted, which was to get her back. Then I went back into NC mode for 10 days. We got along so well as friends. She saw that I was managing quite well without her and then she wanted to try again back in November. So I believe my newfound independent life is what attracted her to the point that she wanted to try again. I actually declined her offer and said that I think we do better as friends. After that night I went into strict NC mode and I have been ever since. My theory is that when the ex sees that you are independent, having a blast without them, playing it cool, being civil with them that's when they are likely to come back. The fact that you are doing NC may convey to your ex that you seem to be managing quite well without them. That is very sexy in their eyes. If you cling to them and let them see you suffer and grieve over the break up then I can almost guarantee you they won't consider coming back. Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 If you use the NC period to work on self improvement then you might not have the same desire to get back with your ex. If you can get to the point of not desiring to go back with them should they make the offer then so much for the better. It's a good ego boost as well. You see if your ex offers to try again they will probably expect you to jump on the opportunity in the twinkling of an eye and when you don't it will really make them wonder why. You being unpredictable to your ex will work in your favor. Link to post Share on other sites
Diver012 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 No hope or desire of wanting my EX back. Im working on self improvement for my own happiness. Not trying to play mind games with someone that dumped on me. I consider my Ex Flighty, emotionally unstable, deceiving. Yeah it hurts, but no matter HOW MUCH I improve, she will remain teh same. In my little black book theres a big Red X next to her name, Been There done that... Never Again... NEXT! Link to post Share on other sites
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