fairy_dust Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Well before hubby and I got married, I had a family function and introduced him to a number of my cousin's, aunt's and uncle's. Anyways my hubby is not one to stick around for hard labor so out of no where while I was busy doing things for the party he just told me he is gonna go with my cousin who is a tom boy and who in fact is a "lesbian". Anyway she needed help to take down inflatable jumps that kids have at there parties. So I am not sure if she asked my husband or if he offered to just help her because things were in a rush that day. He left with her and I was a bit irritated because he hardly knows her. But her personality is to get along with people and hang out. They were gone for like 5 hours and after that time I was getting really pissed with all this s*** going threw my head. I was bitching at my cousins's sister my dad my brother saying "Where the hell are they!" Anyway when they came back I told my cousin off in front of my husband who was at that time my fiance. I told her "Why the f*** are you just taking my husband with you!" She just turned around and told me "Well he is not your husband" and I was about to sock her in the mouth so hard. I cussed her out and I saw my husband just telling me to calm the f*** down. I mean I get all crazy when people say things to offend my relationship with him. I have calm down after a while and recently I had my cousin call me to see how she is doing and she asked about him. Then before we hung up she is like tell him I said 'Hi' I told her ok and laughed....and I hung up on her. I feel she likes him......I just get that notion. I don;t trust her around him and I actually hate my cousin. I don't care for her, she just likes to push buttons and think she is being a bad ass....but we have fought before and she does not intimidate at all but her nature is to be snake in her ways. Should I just ignore her and not come around her? Or ask my hubby what went on that day? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 She's a lesbian, so I highly doubt he did anything with her. I think though, she knew it would piss you off and she's made it "seem" like something happened. I hope you trust your husband. I mean, if she was to make a move on him, so what? He'd say NO to her right? He wouldn't give in to her advances??? I just ask this because IF you are scared something happened, your anger should mostly BE at your husband... Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 To be honest with you, you sound totally crazy with extreme possessiveness and borderline paranoia. How can you even think that your family is having an 'affair' with your husband just because they have some alone time??? I suggest that you see a therapist about this as it will only get worse if you don't take care of your mental health. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fairy_dust Posted June 2, 2006 Author Share Posted June 2, 2006 I figure that your right "youknowhowitfeels", I probably do have mental issues that I need to resort to a professional to help me out with. I have been contemplating seeing a psychologist because there are issues within me that I can't seem to talk to anybody else about none the less my husband. I figure it could be all the years of being taught how to be so secretive and hush hush about alot of things. My father and his family have there idiosyncrasies with this and well paranoia would be one of those characteristics I see in them when the beans spill out. I guess I feel so obsessive or jealous because I'm in love very deeply in love with him and we have a good marriage. It's just these little things that can have me to bottle up inside and have me explode, especially when it comes to other women even my own family. I even sense my mother has a liking for him and it's just what I see just the thought of "things" that could happen. I mean to top it off he has mentioned who he would "f***" if not me in my own family. He has told me it was one of aunt's and a younger cousin of mine, it pissed me off and well I don't kow what to say. I don't want to be so possesive but he is a man that charms ladies because I see everywhere we go. How he talks to them how he just well delves in with any woman he speaks with. Ugly or not he just has a way, because he is not so conservative with who he chats with. I trust him but I feel like I can't trust the rest of the world, I mean he tells me I should work in bar enviroments to look pretty and have guys to hit on me, things that are not appropriate for a "wife". He feels that being so open and let loose is a way to go with our relationship. Because he even defends his friends and tells me I am to judgemental about people and everything is all me. At one point he even told me that when we go to europe to be stationed there because he is in the Navy. He says I should worry because he may fall into infedelity. I mean what am I to do about that? I got upset and told him all things when you get bottled up with emotion and rage cause of stupid things he tells me like that. That night he could only talk to me if we had drinks and we did I got so drunk that when we went home, I know it did not take that long to drive back home from where we were staying. I felt he took a drive around longer as he hit and slapped me on my mouth saying I was a "selfish f***ing bitch", and just yelling at me and telling me off WHILE I WAS DRUNK! He would not do that when I was sober and he thought I would forget. Then when we got home he decided to undress me and screw me like I am some whore. **shakes head** I don't know what this man thinks of me I mean you could only say so much but then your actions can say it louder. I get confused with his ways and just everything, there are times when he is everything I married him for and times when he is someone who tells me things like I am nobody and nothing and the way he treats me. So am I crazy and possesive I would agree to that I have mental issues from growing up and the learned behavior from it all. But what I get from him......**sighs** I have contemplated in my mind that I feel I need to live life alone. Don't get me wrong I love being married I love having to come home to a person who I love and vice versa. But when it comes to such insults and actions that say nothing but carelessness and nothingness about me it over powers. What else is wrong with me........s*** I can only come up with just a few.... Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Your whole relationship is in either need of a serious repair or you all need to split. You might have jealousy issues, but he is hitting you/slapping you in the mouth, undressing you like a whore. Telling you family memebers he would like to f*** etc, etc. He is abusive in his words and actions. Actually I see where you might be insecure. Get into some marraige counseling ASAP if you both want this to work, if not get out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I trust him but I feel like I can't trust the rest of the world, I mean he tells me I should work in bar enviroments to look pretty and have guys to hit on me, things that are not appropriate for a "wife". He feels that being so open and let loose is a way to go with our relationship. Now this I don't get!! You trust him... and why should you??? He's been repeatedly telling you not to trust him! You can trust the world - but definitely NOT HIM! (FYI: for him to suggest that you display yourself like that... doesn't sound like a trustworthy husband.) I felt he took a drive around longer as he hit and slapped me on my mouth saying I was a "selfish f***ing bitch", and just yelling at me and telling me off WHILE I WAS DRUNK! He would not do that when I was sober and he thought I would forget. Then when we got home he decided to undress me and screw me like I am some whore. **shakes head** I don't know what this man thinks of me I mean you could only say so much but then your actions can say it louder. I get confused with his ways and just everything, there are times when he is everything I married him for and times when he is someone who tells me things like I am nobody and nothing and the way he treats me. Here, you've described a violent and manipulative man. Why are you so in love with him?? Seriously, you need to have your head checked out... for your own sake. Link to post Share on other sites
AManWithTroubles Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Yeah. This episode took a sudden and unexpected twist. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I guess I feel so obsessive or jealous because I'm in love very deeply in love with him and we have a good marriage. Look. This is NOT a good marriage if you feel obsessed, jealous and always have to be incontrol. You're insecure BIG TIME. You even said you have mental issues too. Get that looked after because if you don't, you can kiss this marriage and your husband goodbye. He also has tons of issues, and add in the drinking thing - THAT IS NOT good for the marriage. Getting drunk all the time, having stupid episodes, fights, etc...All unhealthy. Not a good mix for a marriage to work. Link to post Share on other sites
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