threesomes

[chrysanno]

Hi! My boyfriend's very very excited about threesomes... him me and any other girl of my choice. I don't like the idea but tried it a cyber once with another girl... hated it.

 

My problem is that I feel that sex can only be fun if it's with someone u love .. he feels it's the experience that is most important and once I let go of the gender I'll enjoy it.

 

Is this a Mars-Venus type fundamental difference? I love and value him a lot but I'm almost ready to break-up with him on this.

 

Help wanted most desperately.

[Daisy]

You have every right not to do this. And if you've repeatedly told him that you have no desire to do this, and yet he keeps pestering you about it, my advice would be to drop him. A man that truly loves you would not force you to do something that makes you extremely uncomfortable.

 

And I think he's very wrong about the letting go of the gender part. That's just a line to get you in the sack with another woman. If you didn't like the idea BEFORE, then you're not going to like the idea DURING and you're surely not going to like him for it AFTER.

 

So do what's in your heart. If you think it's disgusting and have no desire to participate in this behavior, then don't. He can't force you. And if he doesn't respect your decision enough to never ask again, then get rid of him.

[viktress]

"I want exclusivity. It's what I value. Weigh your options. Group sex or me."

Hi! My boyfriend's very very excited about threesomes... him me and any other girl of my choice. I don't like the idea but tried it a cyber once with another girl... hated it. My problem is that I feel that sex can only be fun if it's with someone u love .. he feels it's the experience that is most important and once I let go of the gender I'll enjoy it. Is this a Mars-Venus type fundamental difference? I love and value him a lot but I'm almost ready to break-up with him on this. Help wanted most desperately.

[Carrie]

Ask this guy what's more important to him, his feelings toward having a threesome or his feelings for you. If he says you, then you not wanting to do a threesome should be no problem and he'll respect your decision. If he says you and still continues to push the threesome issue, then there's your real answer. In that case, he's a selfish jerk, doesn't respect you or take your relationship as seriously as you do. No one should ever push someone into doing something they don't want to do - ever. If I were you, I would break it off with him and find a man that only needs you to feel fulfilled. A woman should be special in the eyes of her guy.

[witchbreed]

If you dont want a threesome, dont have one!

 

Tell him clearly that this is something which really turns you off and if he values you, not to try pressing you into it. On the other hand, be tolerant about his fantasy. Its OK, if he does have fantasies about it - a lot of people have fantasies they never ever put into action. If you dont want to hear about these fantasies, tell him so, tell him it is OK for him to have them, but that you feel threathened, disgusted (or whatever it is) by them and would like him to keep those fantasies to himself.

 

If he can respect your wishes, there is nothing to worry about, if he still tries to pressure or convince you, he shows disrespect to your feelings and then you will have to decide if this relationsship is really what you want of a relationsship.

[ines]

dd

If you dont want a threesome, dont have one!

 

Tell him clearly that this is something which really turns you off and if he values you, not to try pressing you into it. On the other hand, be tolerant about his fantasy. Its OK, if he does have fantasies about it - a lot of people have fantasies they never ever put into action. If you dont want to hear about these fantasies, tell him so, tell him it is OK for him to have them, but that you feel threathened, disgusted (or whatever it is) by them and would like him to keep those fantasies to himself. If he can respect your wishes, there is nothing to worry about, if he still tries to pressure or convince you, he shows disrespect to your feelings and then you will have to decide if this relationsship is really what you want of a relationsship.