blind_otter Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I do want to find a new way to live. It's like i will get on the right path and then just let about anything bring me back down. I mean i was away from my kids dad for 2 years now but with a little alchoal and depression i found myself going to him that night. I hated him then and i hated him when i woke up the next day. I hate myself today for letting me fall in my old ways. I know this isn't healthy for me or for anyone else around me. I just always get this feeling that i "need" to have a guy in my life. I don't know why i feel that way. Try abstaining from alcohol for a few months, if you feel it is connected to your weak moments. In my early AA meetings I heard of the similarities and connection between addiction to a person, and addiction to alcohol. Maybe you could go to an AA meeting, or CODA, codependents anonymous, for more help. Google "codependency" for more information. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Otter knows of what she speaks. I didn't mean for my last post to be negative. But come on, you can do better because I believe you are better. We just have to confront that part of us that keeps us stuck in old patterns. Until we do, it'll just keep on grabbing us and dragging us down. And of that, I'm something of an expert! Keep up the struggle. You're about to embark on a fascinating journey of self-discovery if you're up to the challenge, and I think you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cryinginside Posted September 18, 2006 Author Share Posted September 18, 2006 Well i went back to him of course it was no better. For a few days maybe. THen it was always worse, he would get so upset if i didn't jump up to make his drinks, his food, rub his feet. If i didn't give him money everyday for things he would get angry. I left him again after we got into a fight we were both drunk and he pulled my hair and hit me in front of the girls. THen took my keys and through them. I took myt kids and dropped them off somewhere and then went off on my own. My mistake was letting him know i was around my kids dad and then going back to see him. He of course smacked me around calling me names telling me i deserve this. He got made later that night when i wouldn't bring my kids over to his house because my one was sick. He told me i had my priorities messed up. He won't quit calling and i do miss him but i know we have no future together. I am the one that works while he sleeps all day and spends my money. he is a low life. I just hate thinking this is once again all my fault. I had no one to turn to until i remembered all of you. Link to post Share on other sites
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