Twin Sister and a Husband, Two life long partners!

[twinpower123]

I have a twin sister and we are very, very close. I love her dearly and she brings joy and happinesss to my life. Over the years, I always thought my husband got along well with my sister, but of recent times he has really changed.

 

My husband has now got the point whre he can't stand seeing my sister, avoids social functions and tried to forbid me from talking to her on the phone. It is driving me crazy!.

 

My husband seems to be jealous of my sister. Why can't he understand that I love them both. However, ff it ever got the point where he issued me an unlimatum, I would have to choose my sister. I could never stay married to a man who would make me make such a choice. Anyone have any similar experiences??

[Outcast]

You haven't furnished many details. Does he complain that you spend too much time with her? Do you choose her over him regularly? There has to be a reason for his animosity. You are married, and even though you are close to your twin, in many matters your husband should come before your family of origin, including your twin.

[BeFree]

Why does he not want you to speak to her??? What is his problem? Please give more details. There is nothing stronger in the world than the bond between twins. My little sisters were twins, still are, but one was killed in a car accident when they were 21. The death of her twin has nealy driven my sister to sucide at times.

[Guest]

no way Outcast. Family, parents and siblings are life long loves. Spouses are not always. I know if my spouse tried and make me choose between either of my parents or siblings vs. her- I too would take my parents/siblings.

 

A loving spouse would never put on a guilt trip and make you choose. They may choose not to associate with a particular member of your family, but shouldnt expect you to have to choose.

[slinkysu]

no way Outcast. Family, parents and siblings are life long loves. Spouses are not always. I know if my spouse tried and make me choose between either of my parents or siblings vs. her- I too would take my parents/siblings.

 

A loving spouse would never put on a guilt trip and make you choose. They may choose not to associate with a particular member of your family, but shouldnt expect you to have to choose.

 

I think everyone is different. Personally i agree with Outcast. When you make the choice to marry your SO you choose to be part of a team. And the team needs both players to have the same focus and priority for it to work. You elect to make your own family, your own unit, and this should come before all other relationships/units if it is to work.

 

I think the OP needs to give more details. Why is the husband jealous? How much time does she spend with her sister as opposed to her husband? What triggered it all off? I don't think he should give an ultimatum, but then it should never get to the stage where he should have to. She made a choice to marry this man and to love and cherish, forsaking ALL others - that includes family members in my view, and he and their family should be the main focus.

 

This is only my opinion and i appreciate others have differing views. But i came from a family where my parents were together until my father died and they always put the family first (it seemed to work for them and they were as strong as ever when my father passed after 36 years together).

 

Maybe the OP can arrange to see her sister when she knows her husband is busy and make more focus time for the family - am sure it is all about compromise and a little creative time-tabling should sort it out - unless there are underlying problems that we don't know about and maybe something happened between the twin and the husband (a fight over the time that the OP has been spending with either etc both jealous of the other's relationship with the OP etc) that has triggered all this off? Definitely need more details to offer better advice though.