The decision to stay or leave

[Chump64]

SueBee, I wanted to answer your post on this topic from the thread that was locked, so I decided to start a new thread.

 

For me, I think my whole situation is really based on the amount of time and number of times my H cheated which I can't deal with. As I've wrote many many times, my H cheated during dating and I didn't know and married him. We dated 2 1/2 yrs. I have been to counselor after counselor and it still comes down to the fact that I can't live with this man who cheated for 2 1/2 yrs on me and probably would continue (if he isn't already) if I hadn't caught him! After 3 yrs of thinking about saving our marriage or not, I came to the conclusion only recently to begin to get out of our marriage - I can't handle his past cheating. In my situation, I did forgive him ONE time when he went out on me with someone else because he made me believe he was sorry and wouldn't do it again! Yeah right! I gave him another chance then he continued his cheating ways. I also feel that by me catching him instead of him deciding on his own that it's wrong is a huge factor in my leaving him. So for me, I can't understand anyone such as my H who went 2 1/2 yrs day-in, day-out, knowing it's wrong and continuing anyway. If it had been one time, maybe a drunken kiss or whatever, then that is something not "planned". But my H "planned" all his dinners & meetings at the hotels and the driving 2-3 hrs to see some of these women - that's unforgiveable.

 

Sometimes I think I'm a b**ch because I read others giving their spouses second, third, fourth chances and I just can't. I wonder what's wrong with me that I don't want to give him any more chances or waste any more of my life. Maybe I am now a bitter b**ch because of what he's done.

SueBee

Sorry, I can't remember your story. Did he cheat during your marriage too, or while you were dating? About the activity being planned -- of course, it's always planned and deliberate. Effers.

 

I agree with you about the 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances, etc. I will only try to do this once. With a lot of hard work and good luck, it might work. But I won't look back if this ever happens again.

 

I don't think you are being a b**ch. Is he remorseful? Trying to make things right? Or is he still cheating? That would be a big factor, in my book. But even then, if you can't live with what he has done and you are positive about that, don't feel bad, and don't waste time getting out. Who knows, I may find myself in your same shoes some day.