concerned Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 Is it possible for someone to be a 'soft' pedophile, that is to have an attraction to really young women and some adolescents? Is that still the definition of a pedophile? Where are the boundaries and what clues are there in their behaviour? Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted November 1, 2001 Share Posted November 1, 2001 I'm not a doctor, and would certainly like to hear some professional feedback on this one as well. Unfortunately, like the rest of the people on this forum, I can only offer a personal opinion. It has been my experience that men in particular, because of the way they are biologically geared, are attracted to young girls (meaning over the age of 15) quite naturally. Even older men will look at an adolescent female and find her appealing. Just because you get old doesn't necessarily make you blind. That pretty face and youthful figure you found so appealing when you were also coming to age, are still the same attributes that catch your eye now--except you look for it in females closer to your own age. It's okay to notice someone attractive. The difference is, most responsible adults don't act upon these primal impulses. There is some common sense and basic morality that keeps you from crossing that line from quiet admirer to raging pervert. Case in Point: When my daughter was 13, I often noticed men my own age, and OLDER turning around to take a second look at her. I was proud of her. She was...and still is...absolutely beautiful. A quick, polite glance from a passerby was perfectly harmless. But, there were also those occasions when these parasites (for lack of a better term) would step over those moral boundaries and come within inches of losing both life and limb to my maternal fury. They would shout obscenities to her, make suggestive overtures, and ogle her in restaurants while in complete view of myself and their spouses who were sitting right beside them. Of course, because my daughter was so young, she was flattered by all the attention she was receiving from these "older guys." It made her feel *grown-up*. And as a parent witnessing the behavior of these potential "pedophiles"...I knew exactly what would happen if one of these perverts ever had two minutes alone with a young niave kid like my own. And because of this, there were more than a FEW altercations between myself and the potential offenders. There was one time in particular when I watched my own mother almost come across the table at a middle-aged man...who after ogling my daughter at a gathering for hours...had the nerve to sit down at our table. He started by saying (right in front of her) how beautiful and attractive she was. After politely thanking him (while my daughter giggled and blushed) I quickly informed the drooling troll that my daughter was only thirteen. This fool, who obviously a social misfit, then continued to go on about how "mature" young girls looked today compared to the females when he was growing up. He said that teenagers today looked more like the 21-year-olds of his day. I was quick to step in and remind him "that while they may *look* twenty-one, they are still teenage girls underneath and are in no way as mature and experienced as an adult--in spite of what they may LOOK like." He argued my point by saying that 13-year old girls were just as mature and grown-up emotionally as the 21-year-olds he knew. Upon hearing all this my daughter was grinning and gloating. She was eating up all the attention that was being lavished upon her from this *older man*. "That's just the excuse you PERVERTS use to justify picking up little girls!" I heard my mother bark as she stood up across the table. "What's the matter?...You can't get a women your own age to fall for your bullsh*t?" ...Needless to say, we never heard from or saw that guy again. And my daughter? Well, after crawling out from under the table, that was the last function she ever attended with me. Man, parents can really destroy your popularity and social life! Anyway, I apologize for my long-windedness. Just wanted to say, that I don't think there's any harm in looking, so long as its limited to a casual glance and your not finding yourself sexually attracted to children (under the age of 15). I don't think it's a question any reasonibly sane person should even have to ask themselves. You know, instictively, if your obsessions are unhealthy. And if they are...GET HELP!! PS...and stay away from MY daughter. Cause, I'll kill ya!!! Is it possible for someone to be a 'soft' pedophile, that is to have an attraction to really young women and some adolescents? Is that still the definition of a pedophile? Where are the boundaries and what clues are there in their behaviour? Link to post Share on other sites
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