I've lost my soulmate. :(

[julieg]

brandon

firstly i can really feel your pain. it's really sad.

you need to realize where she is -

she probably feels really guilty and sorry for you so she is going NC for "YOUR OWN GOOD" and to avoid confrontation- BEEN THERE

 

the thing that worries me is her taking up so quickly with this other guy and in your face too. perhaps this is another way she is discouraging you and letting down without a verbal confrontation. but she is going about it in a very "immature" way. "been there too"

 

when she finally "wakes up" it may be too late!

[Nedved28]

D'ont mention it brother!! thats what LS is all about and what makes its so special. We're all in this together and to help each other out!! Its an amazing site and just reading the forums and giving and recieving advice can be great theraphy!! Its helped me a lot!! it passes time and you can learn so much from different people who like us are searching for answers and some piece of mind. Your definitley back in the game but as we discussed stick to your NC policy till she contacts you. Your right she's wondering what your up to and by sticking to your NC policy you've added some mystic to yourself as she dose'nt know what and how your thinking!! its a good think in my opinion.

[BrandonBP]

I ended up seeing her tonight. I had a few things of hers to drop off (like her damn house key) so I went to her house. And yes, it was an excuse to see her. She invited me in and we chatted, held hands, and hugged for almost four hours.

 

She didn't say she wanted to get back together. I don't know what the hell to think. She obviously cares about me in some fashion or she wouldn't have acted the way she did tonight staring into my eyes and giving me long tender hugs. I don't know if this is all still a test for her to figure out what she wants or what.

 

I know I'll get the standard, "You're a dumbass for not staying NC" but I can't help it. I still love her with all of my heart and can't stand to be away from her.

 

I don't feel bad about it. I actually feel really good right now knowing that she has feelings for me. I just worry that I'll be a complete wreck in a day or two when she hasn't made an effort to call.

 

Will anyone ever figure out women?

[donpepot]

I ended up seeing her tonight. I had a few things of hers to drop off (like her damn house key) so I went to her house. And yes, it was an excuse to see her. She invited me in and we chatted, held hands, and hugged for almost four hours.

 

She didn't say she wanted to get back together. I don't know what the hell to think. She obviously cares about me in some fashion or she wouldn't have acted the way she did tonight staring into my eyes and giving me long tender hugs. I don't know if this is all still a test for her to figure out what she wants or what.

 

I know I'll get the standard, "You're a dumbass for not staying NC" but I can't help it. I still love her with all of my heart and can't stand to be away from her.

 

I don't feel bad about it. I actually feel really good right now knowing that she has feelings for me. I just worry that I'll be a complete wreck in a day or two when she hasn't made an effort to call.

 

Will anyone ever figure out women?

dude be care full..she is testing you...

if she sence that she still the string over you...tsk tsk tsk..

 

After you guys broke it off and you were playing her for a while doing that nc, she came back to you to SEE IF IT WAS TRUE. She wanted to see your behaviors, your attitude, etc. You see brandonbp, if you REALLY HAD a social life with all these women and what not, your behavior with her would have been different. She kept on coming back at you during that time to TEST YOU, to see if it was true.If you became clingy and needy again, she knew that you were lying about the whole thing, and she will walked off. Dishonesty is a woman's most hated trait.

 

be carefull everytime she made a contact

[BrandonBP]

dude be care full..she is testing you...

if she sence that she still the string over you...tsk tsk tsk..

 

After you guys broke it off and you were playing her for a while doing that nc, she came back to you to SEE IF IT WAS TRUE. She wanted to see your behaviors, your attitude, etc. You see brandonbp, if you REALLY HAD a social life with all these women and what not, your behavior with her would have been different. She kept on coming back at you during that time to TEST YOU, to see if it was true.If you became clingy and needy again, she knew that you were lying about the whole thing, and she will walked off. Dishonesty is a woman's most hated trait.

 

be carefull everytime she made a contact

Doh! I know. I'm just weak I suppose.

[KNE10]

Brandon, be careful man. I did the same mistake. When she opened a window i jumped in. However it lasted 4 days and then she told me that she felt trapped from my love since she doesn't have the same strong feelings for me that i have for her. We hugged, had sex and enjoyed our time those 4 days. But she still broke up with me again....

 

I guess if i hadn't rushed in her arms and played it more cool things might have been different. But i showed to her that i need her and i am weak.

Be careful not to do the same mistake. She knows how much you love her. Don't repeat it like i did....

[BrandonBP]

But i showed to her that i need her and i am weak.

Be careful not to do the same mistake. She knows how much you love her. Don't repeat it like i did....

Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why can't they just figure out what they want instead of us having to play headgames to get them to love us again?

[KNE10]

The tough thing for both of us to accept is that they might never love us the same way as they did. Things can never be the same. I found out the hard way. Do you want someone to be with you just because she thinks you are a nice guy and for old times sake??

[donpepot]

dude im helping you..

im not your nemesis or somthing but that how love works man..

 

realbroken win her ex back man..thekhris win her ex back too..

 

i dont blame you if its that hard to accept it...courting a girl and winning her back is a completely different world man..

 

your the only one left here with the same time as realbroken and thekhris and others who have this scenario.

[BrandonBP]

The tough thing for both of us to accept is that they might never love us the same way as they did. Things can never be the same.

She indeed may never love me the same way, but there are way too many stories of ex's having time apart then figuring out that they truly loved one another all along.

 

My little sister and her B/F broke up for a year and a half to date other people. They're now married.

 

My secretary's daughter divorced her husband and they stayed apart for a year. He got his act together and they remarried and are even more in love now than before.

 

I'm not saying that this will happen in my case, but I know that it's possible and that it happens. People do spend time apart and get back together even more in love than the first time around.

 

I'm not looking to play a fool here, I just want my damn girlie back so badly that I'm still not willing to let her go. I know that you guys are right about NC, but trying to let her go and not think about her is the hardest thing I've ever done. Even when I'm having a great time hanging out with friends or skydiving or talking to other girls, I still feel her in my heart.

 

I'm going to lay low a few days and see what happens. Probably nothing, but who knows? Maybe she'll call.

 

Damn, I'm going to go jump out of a plane today. That's the only thing right now that really gets me fired up and excited about life. It helps me at least take her out of my thoughts just a bit.

 

Thank you guys for the helpful advice. I know you guys are right in what you say. I'm just hardheaded but I am listening to your advice.

 

Brandon

[Guest]

That girl, whoever she is, is missing out on a really good thing with you. I say don't her know you care...if she knows she has you under control she'll use it to her advantage.

[BrandonBP]

That girl, whoever she is, is missing out on a really good thing with you. I say don't her know you care...if she knows she has you under control she'll use it to her advantage.

We're getting along really well the past few days. She says she still loves me and that she has missed me a lot. She says that she thinks that things may work out well with us after all. She confirmed that she was waiting to make sure that I had gotten my act together and that she sees now that I have. We've had an absolutely wonderful time together the last couple of days. She says that the "spark" is definately still there between us and that she's never experienced that with anyone else.

 

I'll keep you all posted. I know that you guys like success stories.

[The slayer]

pleased to hear things are going well, hope it all works out for you Brandon

[Chinook]

Pleased things are going well Brandon, just be mindful of the yoyo. Sorry to sound cynical but be careful.

[BrandonBP]

Thank you, Slayer!

 

Pleased things are going well Brandon, just be mindful of the yoyo. Sorry to sound cynical but be careful.

Yeah I know. She's not a girl that plays headgames, but I'm watching out for B.S. at the same time.

 

Thanks for all the support. You guys have really helped me a lot!

[Chinook]

Yeah I know. She's not a girl that plays headgames, but I'm watching out for B.S. at the same time.

 

I have to be honest Brandon, I've been the girl in the scenario and I really don't think the playing of headgames is intentional and some of the indecision we feel is actually indecision. But just be mindful that someone who is capable of hurting you so badly - may find it easier a second time around.

[BrandonBP]

I have to be honest Brandon, I've been the girl in the scenario and I really don't think the playing of headgames is intentional and some of the indecision we feel is actually indecision. But just be mindful that someone who is capable of hurting you so badly - may find it easier a second time around.

True, but she'd have to hurt herself at the same time. She'd be cutting off her nose to spite her face. You think? If she loves me then she'll be with me. And I believe her when she says she loves me.

 

I also believe what you said about indecision. I've thought all along that likely she was just trying to figure out what she wanted.

[Chinook]

Precisely. You hit the nail on the head. If she loves you, she'll be with you (which is where she is now). Exercising a little caution with your own heart in the short term is just sensible. If it was an honest mistake she made then it will all definitely work out.

[BrandonBP]

Well, I've been gone from these forums for a bit. I've been spending every day with my girlfriend the last two weeks. We love each other even more now than ever. Everything is absolutely wonderful!

 

You guys were a great help to me and guided me through the rough six weeks that we were apart. Thanks so much to all of you that offered me advice and consoled me through my troubles.

 

I wish you all well in your relationships and I hope you get the person you deserve that truly loves you.

 

One more thing.... NC is a good thing in many cases, but it's not always the answer. If you truly love one another then you need to talk things out. If you go NC, then your ex may think that you really didn't care about your relationship all along. Talking things out worked for me. The two weeks I went NC actually pissed off my ex by making her think that I didn't care about her anymore. It made her think that she'd done the right thing by leaving me.

 

I'll pop in from time to time. Maybe I'll be perusing the marriage forums.

 

Brandon

[The slayer]

Hey Brandon, I'm really really pleased to hear things have worked out for you and wish you all the best for the future.

 

I hope that this thread will prove an inspiration to everyone hoping for a happy ending, you really worked hard to get where you have and I'm proud of you.

 

I agree with you about NC, trying to talk things out is always the best way to go, if you want someone back!

[BrandonBP]

Hey Brandon, I'm really really pleased to hear things have worked out for you and wish you all the best for the future.

 

I hope that this thread will prove an inspiration to everyone hoping for a happy ending, you really worked hard to get where you have and I'm proud of you.

 

I agree with you about NC, trying to talk things out is always the best way to go, if you want someone back!

Thank you so much! This forum is such a wonderful thing!

 

Remember this... If she truly loves you, she'll come back to you without the headgames. In my case, she truly loves me. Now she's back and we're very happy.

[Guest]

you know, she might really be just confused. i'm in a similar situation with my bf or ex...i initiated the breakup and let me tell you, it was one of the hardest things i had to do. it wasn't because of another guy or that i wanted to know if the grass is greener on the other side. but i did it for myself. i'm 24, and still confused about my life and the direction that i want to take and a lot of other things. i wasn't happy with myself, not necessarily due to the relationship, but other things. i felt that i had to break it off to find peace and "discover" myself, as cliche as that may sound.

 

there were lots of things wrong in our relationship, and the small things add up. but what i am saying is that sometimes, love just isn't enough. there are other factors that come into play besides the two people.

 

i'm still in the process of trying to figure myself out, and when i do and find out what makes me happy, only then can i go back.

 

so brandon, give her time and space. don't think that she doesn't love you or anything like that, because from my experience, she probably does...more than you'll ever know.