Lhillenb18 Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Well, to just right into it I am here for a lot of help and advice. I have been talking to a lot of friends and such and maybe some of you will have some advice based on personal experience or opinion. I am 20 years old and have been with the same girl since I was 16. We are both at different colleges and have been going strong for the last two years at school. Before I came home this summer during finals she told me she needed some time to think about things between us and 'figure her life out'. I told her ok if that is what she wanted. I hadnt seen her and we had not talked a lot in the weeks before this but I thought that was ok because we were both very busy. She is very involved and some am I but I was confident in our relationship. We have had plans to go to a wedding this summer and do many things. Then she tells me this and she has been away for the last two weeks and wont come home for three weeks. She tells me a break is the best thing for our relationship because she has never been with anyone else and wants to do the single thing for a while to make sure I am the one she wants to be with for the rest of her life. I tried to just be her friend and give her what she wants for the last three weeks because we have a wedding to go to and the summer to spend together. Until, last night I was talking to her and she just wasnt into it. I told her she needed to see just how good I really am to her and so I broke it off completely. I am really scared that she might not come back although she said that she wants to do this so that we can be sure we need to be with each other and committed to each other. She said that she believes we are meant to be and just needs some time to herself for a while. What I am asking is, is this normal for girls to get scared and need some time, did I do the right thing by taking initiative and maybe this will be the best thing for our relationship right now. I miss her so much and I am so hurt right now. I am really confused because I love her and want to be with her but I feel as though for her to realize how good I am I need to be out of her life completely. HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Yes, it's normal at your age to question all kinds of things about life and relationships and what you want out of both. Since neither of you has much experience outside of each other, it is best in the long run if you're both sure you want to be together even if it means stepping back in the short term. By taking the initiative, I think you've done exactly the right thing. Give her all the space that she needs and let her explore. During this time, you should try your wings a little as well, and spend some time dating other people. Coming back together once both of you are clearer on your life paths will make for a stronger relationship. If it doesn't work out, it's best to know that sooner rather than later. You can't make her want to be with you, and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
tiff2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 What to say... I understand your pain... I am 34yrs. old and when I was 19, I had a highschool sweetheart for 2 1/2yrs prior... I was over 2yrs. older then him, and when he got into his senior year of high school, he told me that he too wanted to date other girls, because he hadn't before. I was sooooooooooo devistated, but let him go! For YEARS I regretted this descision!! Now, looking back, I know that we wouldn't have made it anyway... We were way too young! They say now the right age to get married is in your 30's, and I believe it!! I am 34, and getting divorced after spending 13yrs with this man... I was only 21 when I got married, and then had babies!! But now, my kids are older, and I will have my life back! My advise to you, kinda been there myself, even though it's killing you right now, know that it will get better, maybe the two of you will make it, maybe you won't...hopefully you can be friends after this! At least... But please know, it's soooooooooo important that you try and realize that you have so much time ahead!! So hang out with your friends, get a summer job to help keep you busy, anything you can do to distract you as much as possible from the pain...Know that you will get through it, take 1 wave of the pain at a time!! I wish there was more I can say... I remember the pain, and it is pure hell!! I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!! I think it is good though that you give her time and space, you can use it too, to reflect, and think about your future... Best wishes to you, I am here if you need anything, or just some comforting words... Tiff Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 I thank the both of you so very much it has helped more than you can believe. It is so hard but I know this is what is best for us. Once again I thank you both so very much. Link to post Share on other sites
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