mum2three Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I think your reaction and hurt feelings that your DW has a BF or new main male in your life is very normal. I defintely don't think OM or OW should be introduced to the children unless it is a very very very serious relationship. Imagine how confusing it would be for the kids to meet various "friends" on mommy and daddy's side over a couple of years. I really feel for you but you can't stop your DW from having a BF. It sounds like you too have a pretty good line of communication normally. So maybe both of you can talk about each other's understanding for introducing "friends" to the children. You sound very strong and level-headed and most of the time emotionally composed. That is very inspirational to some of us going thru the same thing right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hay guys/gals Thx for the posts... Im doing fine... like I said earlier...what happened just kinda floored me... but I'm ok now.. Keeping busy and working out... keeps me focused on "other things" I have really learned to keep my emotions in check... and let out the negative with positive action (push-ups... and lots off them...) I am finally seeing a brighter light at the end of the tunnel... like I am excepting what has happened and am moving on... Geeessh give me some credit... I asked a girl out... thought I would never been able to do that... I never give up.... and no one will ever be able to keep me down... I get knocked down... I may be bloodied and coverd in dirt... but I come back 'a' fighting... (grrrrr) So... there yah have it.... I'm good... (elastic band ilmw) Who looks damn fine in blue.. Later... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 ILMW your attitude is what gives you the strenght and you may not realize it now, but it is contagious, others who aren't as far down the road as you will get strenght from your words and wisdom and all that you've accomplished in the past 8 months buddy. Sooo there ya go cudo's to you. CC Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Hay guys/gals Thx for the posts... Im doing fine... like I said earlier...what happened just kinda floored me... but I'm ok now.. As far as you can learn from what happened then there is no more you can do, it happened, it's over. Hopefully it will help next time when something comes up that you will be able to handle it a little different. Keeping busy and working out... keeps me focused on "other things" I have really learned to keep my emotions in check... and let out the negative with positive action (push-ups... and lots off them...) I am finally seeing a brighter light at the end of the tunnel... Be careful, that could be the train. :laugh::lmao: like I am excepting what has happened and am moving on... Geeessh give me some credit... I asked a girl out... thought I would never been able to do that... More information is needed here, did she except? what are you going to do? there better be more details coming up soon!!!! I never give up.... and no one will ever be able to keep me down... I get knocked down... I may be bloodied and coverd in dirt... but I come back 'a' fighting... (grrrrr) So... there yah have it.... I'm good... (elastic band ilmw) Who looks damn fine in blue.. This is why you have been an inspiration to many, even though she kicked dirt in your face, you are able to see past that, figure out what you need to do and move on. I know it has to be hard and I bet you even think of giving up, I know I have, but in the end you will come out the better person no doubt in my mind!! Later... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
marcusabrownus Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Tell it like it is Brother ~ don't hold back! Tell it like it is! Amen! This is great stuff. I agree, tell it like it is.. Link to post Share on other sites
chadnickole Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 If I could Run Nude across your thread I would, Bet that would lift your mood :D :D At least I'd get a laugh even if it was mine:lmao: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 29, 2007 Author Share Posted January 29, 2007 If I could Run Nude across your thread I would, Bet that would lift your mood :D :D At least I'd get a laugh even if it was mine:lmao: :lmao: :lmao::lmao:... Thx Chad.. BUTT!.. no thx... Thx for "lifting my mood... but I'm actually OK.. My mood is .. well constant for the most part... and that is "being in a good one" My mood was always an issue with me and others... as I used to have mood swings... But I have learned that I did have them... never admitted it to myself... and I now am able to .... well be constant.. I dictate my mood... not others.. sure things can happen to "piss me off"... geeesh.. I'm human... but... instead of getting bent out of shape... and turning myself inside out..... I just close my eyes for a second.. take a deep breath... and I'm ok. I can give an example of my consistency.... The other night... I arrest someone for DUI.. Young fella.. (Hammered)..etc I took him in... and he was yelling and screaming... demanding this... advising me he knew his rights... etc...ad nausium... This fella... kept going on.. and on ... all night... I went in to speak with him regarding some information he provided... which was wrong (Yup... he was drunk)... I dealt with him calmly... kept asking why he was yelling at me.. etc.. I came back into the report room... and some of the fellas... and a Detective.. were bowing down to me... (I'm not worthy esk).. The Detective... who I respect very much... said.. "I don't know how you managed to stay so calm with that idiot"... I replied with a smile... "what would have getting angry accomplished??"... He just smiled and shook his head. You see.... this is were my head is at.... The philosophy... of walking with grace.... calm... collected... and excepting... that is me now... I am walking the walk... and talking the talk... I am "Manning UP"... and strive to be the best MAN... I can be... I.. am a good... No ... great person... I know this... Nothing that has happened to me... recently... has changed that perception of myself..... I know who I am.... and what and where I want to be..... I have never really had a clear picture of this before... it was clouded... and I stumbled through life... with the best intentions... and no road man to follow... I said it before.... you can not live with best intentions...alone... you have to have a clue... or you will get lost... I did... and so many others... have done.... the same. My little trip to California back in Sept... is like a small metaphor.. of my life... I thought I knew where I was going... I got lost several times on the way... but once I got my sh*t together... I found what... and where I wanted to go... "well until I got to San Francisco... and got lost again..." ... I still think your road sings in the States are "BRUTAL!" its like ..Oh here it is... then you have passed it... Ahhhhh!!..... So... in a nut shell.... I'm good.. Thx............ ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
chadnickole Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 :lmao::lmao:... Thx Chad.. BUTT!.. no thx... Thx............ ilmw I strive on a daily basis to be what was described in your post, You are the man. Keep up the good work!! As i will try to embody what you describe as the control needed in life!! Are you sure you don't want me to streak on your thread??? :lmao: :lmao: DDgirl.......anyone, hahahhaha:lmao: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 w00t w00t... anyone is more than welcome to streak on my thread Just dont expect me to reciprocate ilmw, I'm impressed! But you're dead on. You control your feelings and how you react to people. Once you get that, once you get another person's anger has very little to do with you and more to do with them, it's so much easier to control your emotions. And it's that "Ah ha" moment you get once you acknowledge your own weaknesses, you can see how to control them and they no longer play that much of a role in your life anymore. Great job! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 This fella... kept going on.. and on ... all night... I went in to speak with him regarding some information he provided... which was wrong (Yup... he was drunk)... I dealt with him calmly... kept asking why he was yelling at me.. etc.. I came back into the report room... and some of the fellas... and a Detective.. were bowing down to me... (I'm not worthy esk).. The Detective... who I respect very much... said.. "I don't know how you managed to stay so calm with that idiot"... I replied with a smile... "what would have getting angry accomplished??"... He just smiled and shook his head. Please pat yourself on the back bro, you do deserve it that's for sure! See people are noticing the change, they might be giving you a hard time or teasing you but they do see the change & you should be very proud of that!!! Doesn't it make you feel good to be able to go in and talk to some jerk and walk out knowing you were the bigger man and didn't have to lower yourself to his level?????? I am very proud of you bro, this is where I hope to be down the road, I know I'm getting there but I'm not there just yet. My little trip to California back in Sept... is like a small metaphor.. of my life... I thought I knew where I was going... I got lost several times on the way... but once I got my sh*t together... I found what... and where I wanted to go... "well until I got to San Francisco... and got lost again..." Pssst; I'll let you in on a little secret. You didn't get lost, you just took the scenic route!!!:laugh: I learned this long time ago when we are up 4-wheeling, you never get lost you just take the scenic route. You got where you wanted to be correct??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Chad, dgiirl & PW... Thx guys and gal! Thx again chad.. but not thx...... besides you would probably get your self band... PW... I think i'll clarify that... I was not being teased.. at work... it was... awe they were showing me... on how... I reacted to my (DUI)... in the past I would have treated him a little different.. (don't get me wrong... nothing ever has happened that should not have)... gotta clear that up... because of public perception...(way to many cop shows... that are pure Hollywood nonsense)... And... dgiirl... the above for me was one of those "ah ha" moments... the look of ... well admiration... on my co-workers faces.. my supervisor... and the detective... well I felt... funny inside... then I recognised the feeling..."PRIDE"... I have in fact come a long way.... considering... I am in such a high stress job.... I am calmer now and more laid back... than I have been in my entire adult life... which in away surprises me.... I have known people who have ... had to take extended time off in similar cases.... so ... I am doing good. On a different note.... It was my DW's Bday this week..... I went out with my s5 and bought her a couple of DVD's of movies I know she would like... knowing her taste in movies... actors... I also stole.. PW's idea of making a custom CD of music... It was the top ten hits ... that were on her actual Bday... I also bought a beautiful Bday card... from the boys... and got a funny light hearted one from me... When I dropped off my s5 yesterday.... I mentioned that the presents to her... she said... "you didn't have to do that"......... I replied simply with a smile... "I know" I then gave the boys a hug.... and left. I called her today... to wish her a happy bday... and also to check on the condition... of s5.. he was under the weather yesterday... but wanted to go to school.... I called yesterday afternoon and DW let me know.. that as soon as he got home.... he said "Mom I'm tired... he went up to his room... and crashed".... He is definitely not feeling well.... that kid can go on and on and on... etc..... He had apparently been up and down all night... with the chills... (and was kept home today).. and was half asleep in front of the TV... after she had given him a hot bath... (sigh***) I miss that stuff... Oh well... DW thanked me again for the presents... today... I guess she opened them... nothing fancy... but .. thoughtful... with out being to thoughtful... if that makes sence... I am being strong... as this is the first Bday we were not together... and it is a punch in the gut... each time one of these special days comes up... Valentines day is next.... and I have got to find me a distraction.. for that day....... BTW... the girl I got the number from... who I finally was able to leave a message with... never did call me back... so I'll take it as a sign... that she is not interested.... No biggy... not sure if I was really ready yet.. anyway.... but said to myself.... "self... give it a shot"... I have now.. officially nothing more I can think of to write... So in closing.... I hope you are all doing well ... and keeping busy.. stay strong. ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi ilmw, That was so wonderful of you to give your ex a birthday gift. Knowing there are men in the world like you pick up my spirits. To answer your previous question about your job... I think it would make me a wee bit nervous to date a cop. I'm not sure why because I don't do anything illegal other than drive 5 mph above the speed limit. lol. I guess it's just my perception that a cop sticks to all the rules, can't be spontaneous or have a ton of fun, is insensitive and unwilling to change, doesn't have a sensitive side, etc. Of course, after reading all of your posts on LS, you don't fit my stereotype at all. Here's an idea if you want to go on a few dates with a gal before telling her what you do for work...when she asks you what you do, you can tell her that you'd like to play a fun guessing game. She gets to ask one yes or no question regarding your job and gets one guess of what your job is per date, and you get to do the same with her. At the end of the 5th (or whatever) date, you can then tell each other what you do at work if she hasn't already guessed. By the time she finds out you're a cop, then any perceptions she has about cops won't be applied to you. Maybe it's a little immature, I don't know. Just an idea... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Hi ilmw, That was so wonderful of you to give your ex a birthday gift. Knowing there are men in the world like you pick up my spirits. To answer your previous question about your job... I think it would make me a wee bit nervous to date a cop. I'm not sure why because I don't do anything illegal other than drive 5 mph above the speed limit. lol. I guess it's just my perception that a cop sticks to all the rules, can't be spontaneous or have a ton of fun, is insensitive and unwilling to change, doesn't have a sensitive side, etc. Of course, after reading all of your posts on LS, you don't fit my stereotype at all. Here's an idea if you want to go on a few dates with a gal before telling her what you do for work...when she asks you what you do, you can tell her that you'd like to play a fun guessing game. She gets to ask one yes or no question regarding your job and gets one guess of what your job is per date, and you get to do the same with her. At the end of the 5th (or whatever) date, you can then tell each other what you do at work if she hasn't already guessed. By the time she finds out you're a cop, then any perceptions she has about cops won't be applied to you. Maybe it's a little immature, I don't know. Just an idea... Thx moongirl for the kudos... I figured it wouldn't hurt as long as it was done in a friendly... none.. needy.. steeped in double meaning way.. Well when I spoke with her later.. DW thanked me... without any edge to her voice... said the gifts were very thoughtful... It went well... no side effects... which was nice... as there was no ulterior motive ...phheeeww. We seem to be on better terms... than we have for several weeks... which is also nice. Well around 5pm ish... DW called me at work on my cell. She told me she had taken the day off work... as s5 had been up and down all night... with an ear ache and soar throat. She had taken him to the hospital but would have to wait for 5 hours.. so she decided to take him to an after hours clinic... she spent 2 hours there... and then was told... the night doctor.. had cancelled... (I'm pissed that my little guy who was sick.. had to sit there in pain.... for those 2 hrs... and then had to leave..) DW went to 2 other clinics... but they were full... min 30 people each... So she went to the pharmacy... and spoke with the pharmacist... and was recommended some ear drops which were over the counter... but similar to what would have been pro scripted any way. I called her back at one time and left her a message... that if she let me know where she and s5 were, I would come to... she called me back and told me to relax..... she was good natured... and said... he is ok... right now... just that when his meds run out... he gets the bad ear aches... I felt better when she said that... and the tone of her voice. Any way... i called once I got home to see if s5 had settled. He was dosing.. so I said to DW not to bother him... let him... stay comfy.. I also said ... if she gets to tired or has to take more time off.. to let me know... so I would take time off instead.. just so she does not use up all her sick time... (He is my son too... so i should pay as well) DW said she would let me know if that was necessary... and that she would call me again tommorow morning and give me an update on s5. I'm so glad... that we communicate about this stuff.... I was talking with one of my coworkers after and she told me the nightmare she had with her exhusband when it came to this kind of stuff.... Well haven't I gone on and on.... Yeah I love my son... Well thats been my day... oh yeah... my son gave me the flu... So now I'm all doped up on cold and flu meds......... Nothing worse than dealing with the public when you are under the weather..... and it would have to be one of the busiest days since I came out on the road....... Night... I'm gonna vedge... and have happy thoughts of getting well... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted February 4, 2007 Author Share Posted February 4, 2007 Well, DW called me tonight out of the blue. She tells me has something to tell me... I figure it is going to be more bad news.... but... she went to tell me she has been in IC since the beginning of December. One of the things her counseler told her was to she should apologise to me once she figured out her part of the problems in or relationship. Well tonight she did... she told me things changed once our son was born.... she started to withdraw... (funny thing is so did I)... its weird how couples react to each other like this She admitted to so many things she thought she did wrong in the relationship.. she was very emotional... and broke into sobs on more than one occasion... and did admit to miss me at one point.... she sounded through out she was on the edge of bursting into tears I was floored by her revelations ... but impressed she did in fact go to counselling like she said she would way back in the summer.... When was all said and done, she thanked me for listening... and then went and got s5 so he could speak with me... s5 wanted to come over... but... well I should have been at work... but called in sick finally.... drag my but around work for the past 2 days and one night... feeling like a corps... Chatted with him for a little while... he still is sick... and he has what I have... so I know that little carrier... gave it to me... I feel a little confused from the phone call.... but besides that.... I am genuinely happy for DW that she did IC, because everything I thought I got from it... she brought up the same points for herself. It help change my life and my way of looking at things.... hopefully it will for her too... I am happy for her... Thats all folks ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
mum2three Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 It sounds confusing b/c she is validating your feelings. It seems like an eye opener for her and a great revelation even though you are unsure where it will lead you. But your DW deserves alot of credit for doing IC and calling to to apologize. I don't think I came across any WAS that did that on LS. So this is great news. It was good that you listened and took it all in. Your S5 sounds adorable. I'm sure both boys love you alot. Keep on trucking! We're trying to keep up with ya! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Sounds like a little soul cleasing here. Do not build your hopes up! Your azz ain't off the beach yet! It does sound like you've might, just might have made a breachhead! Too early to tell! Keep doing what you're doing! Strong, confident in yourself, in your life. I love you, our son, your stepson, but life will go on without you! Your the personfication of "manning up" Ooooooraahhhhh! SemperFi ~ Do Or Die! SemperFi! Do or Die! Get SOME!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 She admitted to so many things she thought she did wrong in the relationship.. she was very emotional... and broke into sobs on more than one occasion... and did admit to miss me at one point.... she sounded through out she was on the edge of bursting into tears I was floored by her revelations ... but impressed she did in fact go to counselling like she said she would way back in the summer.... When was all said and done, she thanked me for listening... and then went and got s5 so he could speak with me... You did an awesome job and did the important thing, you listened!! Right now this is all you can ask for is she learn to better herself and find herself just as you have been doing. I truely believe that even if the one that left the relationship doesn't look at themselves and figure out what part they had in what went wrong then even if you get back together it wouldn't work, things would go back to what they were or down the road you will be the one that will give up all the work you have done to better yourself or you will be the one that leaves. I have learned you can't make another person do what you want, but by your actions you can make them stop and think; what has made him/her change, what are they doing that I'm missing out on??? Because of your actions she is looking to see what her part in the relationship was, I bet you a 100 bucks if someone asked her why she moved out it would have been "ALL" your fault and hopefully she will see that it took two to get you in this situation. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't your fault, but both of you needing to do things different. Just like in my cousins wedding yesterday the preacher said; when two people get married they become one. After hearing him say that to me that means there should be no figure pointing because there is no one to point the finger at, there is no you it's us. Ilmw, your still doing a great job, you are still moving forward, you are doing a great job of being a dad and that is all you can do at this time. Even if things don't work out like you hope and you get back together, hopefully she will find the help to see what she can do to make herself a better person. You will always be part of her life and she will always be a part of your life because of s5 so if you can keep it on a positive level it will make things so much better and it sounds like you are doing just that. Again, just like a good friend keeps reminding me, be patient and don't push and just take each day one day at a time. Keep learning, keep bettering yourself and just see where it takes you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted February 12, 2007 Author Share Posted February 12, 2007 Hi all Not much has been going on with me... Finished a week of training, and because of this... my days off are all messed up... thats ok... have 7 days off straight....NICE.. Had s5 for the weekend and took him down to see my brother and sisinlaw... she is 5 months pregnant.. and s5 really wanted to see her and his future cousin... Had a nice visit... and s5 really enjoyed himself. Took him to school this morning... and on leaving.... I really... I mean really got side swiped with... sadness.... I had to sit in the car for a minute before I could drive over to DW house... and drop off s5's bag. She was asleep as she just finished nights shift... so I left his stuff in her van. Not much else to report... other than... DW had a small drama... the other day... which I won't get into... she was back stabbed by a friend from the old neighbour hood... it effected the kids.. and DW called me... and let me know what had happened.... I got angry and made some phone calls... to well yes... give a piece of my mind... I then called DW back... and let her know that I had confirmed what she had thought.... She then txt me Sunday... and asked me to hug and kiss s5 and thanked me for all my support... Thats it... No expectations.... no pressure... doing my own thing... but still find that the natural desire to defend my family... going hard and strong... Thats all folks BTW.... when is spring gonna get here... We keep getting dumped on... and I'm really sick of the white stuff already...:lmao::lmao:.. Take care all ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
tweldy Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 My perceptions about police officers is that they are like everyone else, there is a wide variety of personalities. I suspect that being a police officer exposes you to an unsavory view of humanity on a regular basis. This has got to color your perception of the world at least a little bit. When I was younger, I really wanted to be a police officer; particularly, I wanted to work in computer forensics. Being on the edge of a faint hope for so long has got to be tough. I admire your ability to keep it together while living in limbo. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi all Not much has been going on with me... Finished a week of training, and because of this... my days off are all messed up... thats ok... have 7 days off straight....NICE.. Had s5 for the weekend and took him down to see my brother and sisinlaw... she is 5 months pregnant.. and s5 really wanted to see her and his future cousin... Had a nice visit... and s5 really enjoyed himself. Took him to school this morning... and on leaving.... I really... I mean really got side swiped with... sadness.... I had to sit in the car for a minute before I could drive over to DW house... and drop off s5's bag. She was asleep as she just finished nights shift... so I left his stuff in her van. Not much else to report... other than... DW had a small drama... the other day... which I won't get into... she was back stabbed by a friend from the old neighbour hood... it effected the kids.. and DW called me... and let me know what had happened.... I got angry and made some phone calls... to well yes... give a piece of my mind... I then called DW back... and let her know that I had confirmed what she had thought.... She then txt me Sunday... and asked me to hug and kiss s5 and thanked me for all my support... Thats it... No expectations.... no pressure... doing my own thing... but still find that the natural desire to defend my family... going hard and strong... Thats all folks BTW.... when is spring gonna get here... We keep getting dumped on... and I'm really sick of the white stuff already...:lmao::lmao:.. Take care all ilmw Are you standing vertical? Are you breathing? If so then life is good!! Sounds like you are doing just fine & still moving forward. it's so good to hear you and S5 have so much fun together, there are many fathers out there that don't give there kids the time of day. As for the snow, your more then welcome to keep it, we still have some of that white stuff you pushed down here to us in our yard. :lmao::p Keep us posted ilmw, it's good to hear from you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Are you standing vertical? Are you breathing? If so then life is good!! Sounds like you are doing just fine & still moving forward. it's so good to hear you and S5 have so much fun together, there are many fathers out there that don't give there kids the time of day. As for the snow, your more then welcome to keep it, we still have some of that white stuff you pushed down here to us in our yard. :lmao::p Keep us posted ilmw, it's good to hear from you again. Perry got it right! You're still standing, breathing, walking around the planet, you've got half of it right. This BS has going on for months, and this isn't the first time that I've been the hard-bringer of bad news. I'm not afraid of it, and I'm not scared of it. But, it might be time to kick things up a notch. For your own good. You can't keep dragging this dead horse around with you everywhere you go ~ I know I've done it for years upon years. It might be time to drop the "D" bomb and move on with your life. Don't be me dragging a dead horse around with you everywhere you go, like the village idiots. Life's too short. You deserve to find yourself someone who appreciates what you've got to offer, and what you've got to give. Let it go, Bro, just let it go. Its not you, its her. She's wrapped up in this Cinderella fantasy about the way life is and the way its suppose to be ~ but its not reality. There's he way things are, and then there's the way there suppose to be ~ somewhere in between lies the reality of the situation. Just let it go ~ because its already gone. You can't be in a marriage by yourself. And, I say that with the knowledge that I will cry with you, give a brotherly hug, and spit good Scotch whiskey into the fire! I know your pain! Guns Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 My perceptions about police officers is that they are like everyone else, there is a wide variety of personalities. I suspect that being a police officer exposes you to an unsavory view of humanity on a regular basis. This has got to color your perception of the world at least a little bit. When I was younger, I really wanted to be a police officer; particularly, I wanted to work in computer forensics. Being on the edge of a faint hope for so long has got to be tough. I admire your ability to keep it together while living in limbo. Best of luck to you. Thx Tweldy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Are you standing vertical? Are you breathing? If so then life is good!! Sounds like you are doing just fine & still moving forward. it's so good to hear you and S5 have so much fun together, there are many fathers out there that don't give there kids the time of day. As for the snow, your more then welcome to keep it, we still have some of that white stuff you pushed down here to us in our yard. :lmao::p Keep us posted ilmw, it's good to hear from you again. Thx PW... doing good.. and loving every minute I get to spend with my son. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Perry got it right! You're still standing, breathing, walking around the planet, you've got half of it right. This BS has going on for months, and this isn't the first time that I've been the hard-bringer of bad news. I'm not afraid of it, and I'm not scared of it. But, it might be time to kick things up a notch. For your own good. You can't keep dragging this dead horse around with you everywhere you go ~ I know I've done it for years upon years. It might be time to drop the "D" bomb and move on with your life. Don't be me dragging a dead horse around with you everywhere you go, like the village idiots. Life's too short. You deserve to find yourself someone who appreciates what you've got to offer, and what you've got to give. Let it go, Bro, just let it go. Its not you, its her. She's wrapped up in this Cinderella fantasy about the way life is and the way its suppose to be ~ but its not reality. There's he way things are, and then there's the way there suppose to be ~ somewhere in between lies the reality of the situation. Just let it go ~ because its already gone. You can't be in a marriage by yourself. And, I say that with the knowledge that I will cry with you, give a brotherly hug, and spit good Scotch whiskey into the fire! I know your pain! Guns Thx to you to gunns. I think maybe my last post might have been taken wrong... I was upset because of dropping my son of at school... and that I would not be seeing him that night. Seeing his happy little face.. brings me so much joy. He truly is a god send. He has the ability to light up a room where ever he goes. He is infectious. I had him from Friday afternoon till Mon morn... I had a smile on my face all that time... until I was walking away from his school... then it hit me... I miss my boy... As for the big "D"... if DW wants one she can file... I'm not paying a penny until... I have to ... and I am not going out of my way to help end this marriage. I'm not divorced until I am divorced... I'll go to my grave knowing... that I tried until the end. Dragging around a dead horse... No ... I don't dwell on my situation any where near how I did lets say a month ago... certain things have changed in me... I have come to except my life the way it is... I am doing things to occupy myself... getting a life. Having the best time I can... But when it comes to my son...... I can't but feel pain and sadness. In my own situation.... my father cheated on my mother... I was 8... it got verbally ugly.... until my father left. He was a very selfish man.... and I have modeled my life not to be like him... jezzzzz. He left my Step mother just before xmas... (wife #3) I know how I felt... when that happened.... I will not... can not... let my son down. Do I resent my father... sure... but not to the same extent I used to. The hump on my back is gone.... I deal with this stuff differently now. i have finally come to except my past as my past... nothing can be done to change it.... so.... I stopped dwelling on it. Do I still love DW. Yes... I do. But I also know... (still) there is nothing I can do... but what I am doing... and what I am doing is not for her. It is for me.... what is good for me... is good for everyone else. Do I expect to reconcile.... I don't think about it that much anymore. I can't... it is to painful.... and unproductive. I have not become a boozer... or a "man hoar" I maintain a certain... level of grace. I am proud of who I am.... I know where I am... and where I want to go. Finding someone else... is more like a side issue... not really sure if I could be in another relationship right now... Not because of DW... but because of me. I'm not sure if I really want to be with anyone for quite sometime. We cannot predict the future... so I am not worrying about what I do not have control over. I control my finances, my own mood... my own attitude... and how I treat others. Thats it. So... in a nut shell. I good..NO great. Once again... thankyou ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Wow ILMW... just WOW! :bunny: (I wish we had an emoticon for Applause!!!) Link to post Share on other sites
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