PWSX3 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Great story you shared, it's good to hear you kept as positive attitude as you could. I just don't understand people sometimes why they think they need to get out in that kind of weather? Around here if they would just wait until even the afternoon the roads will get better & they would have never had there trouble. I have driven to the "Big" city before the day after & you see all the tracks going into the ditch and just smile.. Wait, I'm one of those people now that I think of it. :D:D:D:D:D At least when I get out in it I will have my come-a-long (poor mans winch), shovel, blankets, extra cloths so if I get stuck I should be able to get myself out or at least keep warm. Around here when we have the bad storms the 4-wheel drive clubs volunteer to take the doctors, police, etc. to where they need to be. I haven't done that yet because most of the time I'm just helping people on the roads. You know what else, that old couple will tell that story & there version will be; we had this really nice policeman take really good care of us & that should make you feel very proud, it would me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 Great story you shared, it's good to hear you kept as positive attitude as you could. I just don't understand people sometimes why they think they need to get out in that kind of weather? Around here if they would just wait until even the afternoon the roads will get better & they would have never had there trouble. I have driven to the "Big" city before the day after & you see all the tracks going into the ditch and just smile.. Wait, I'm one of those people now that I think of it. :D:D:D:D:D At least when I get out in it I will have my come-a-long (poor mans winch), shovel, blankets, extra cloths so if I get stuck I should be able to get myself out or at least keep warm. Around here when we have the bad storms the 4-wheel drive clubs volunteer to take the doctors, police, etc. to where they need to be. I haven't done that yet because most of the time I'm just helping people on the roads. You know what else, that old couple will tell that story & there version will be; we had this really nice policeman take really good care of us & that should make you feel very proud, it would me. That is a pretty cool system you guys have out there... would have been handy... during the storm... buy on the other hand... we were having complete white outs.. so it would not matter.. if you could physically get there... if you could not see the road... or the on coming truck/car coming down the middle of the road.. from the other direction... (that was a common accident on the day) Also.. thanks PW.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 So I remember that I had a dream that DW... was in.. not good or bad dream... she was just in it... I did mention before... that I don't normally remember my dreams. Well around 8:20 am... my phone is ringing... (I try to sleep in on my first night shift ) I wake up dazed and confused.. I go get the phone out of my living room.. but I am to late... I see it is a message waiting... I check the message... and it is DW.. singing.. "Wake up".. "wake up"... "this is your wake up call"...it kinda repeated like that... for a couple more versas. Her voice was high... and full of humour. After checking my message.. which left me with a smile on my face.... the phone rings again... I answer.... and it is DW again?? She mentioned that she was putting some money into my account she owed me... and then went onto to tell me about S5's report card... which she had already mentioned the night before.. when I called to say good night to the boys.. She also.. toldme she was going shopping for groceries..had to buy hotdogs as she volunteers at s5 & s/son's school for hot lunches somtimes... she has to cook couple of hundred of them:sick: The day before..got a couple of txt messages from her, warning me about the roads etc... then she txt me " u make sure ure careful i don't need u in the hospital!":confused: Never had so much contact from her in such a short period of time.... Now.. before anyone says anything... I'm not reading into this...or gettimg my hopes up...like I said before... I'm past that point... but.. wow... mark departure from the norm..?? It was nice....for the concern.... Made me feel warm... on and otherwise rather chilly day... Better get back to work... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 O.K. you don't get your hopes up & I will do that work for you so you don't have to worry about it. I guess when I was little my mom told me I was helping my grandpa & he was cutting some wood & was huffing & puffing & I guess I started to do the huffing part for him because I thought I was helping. :laugh: Now this is what happened to my W & like you said you don't want to get your hopes up but last month she started to do that, she would call and tell me things that really didn't matter or she had already told me before. I think they are just ways of them to call & talk and right not I see it as your W also likes to hear your voice, she is starting to hear that new person that is changing. If nothing else if things don't work out at least you can be kind to each other because no matter what happens she will always be in your life some way or another because of you son. Make sure & let her know you appreciate her being concerned about you, that you are glad she cares enough for your safety & that you have better places that you would rather meet up with her then the hospital. :laugh: Last night when I was talking to the W she said that when she moved out she had lost all feelings for me, that she wasn't sure if we would get back together even though she also said she never saw her future without me & Patrick. She said it has only been in the last month that she started to realize that she was missing me & that the few times we had spent together she really liked. A friend of mine told me something that I will share with you, take it slow & be patient!!! This has & will be probably the hardest thing for me to learn because I am a person that when something needs done I do it, get it done and over with. You keep showing the DW that you are changing that you are there to listen to her & "I" feel that you are going to be getting more calls that don't make since & you wonder why she is asking that but don't worry about it, just enjoy knowing she is keeping in contact with you in her own way. I wish you the best my friend & with spring around the corner you never know what will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 So I remember that I had a dream that DW... was in.. not good or bad dream... she was just in it... I did mention before... that I don't normally remember my dreams. Well around 8:20 am... my phone is ringing... (I try to sleep in on my first night shift ) I wake up dazed and confused.. I go get the phone out of my living room.. but I am to late... I see it is a message waiting... I check the message... and it is DW.. singing.. "Wake up".. "wake up"... "this is your wake up call"...it kinda repeated like that... for a couple more versas. Her voice was high... and full of humour. After checking my message.. which left me with a smile on my face.... the phone rings again... I answer.... and it is DW again?? She mentioned that she was putting some money into my account she owed me... and then went onto to tell me about S5's report card... which she had already mentioned the night before.. when I called to say good night to the boys.. She also.. toldme she was going shopping for groceries..had to buy hotdogs as she volunteers at s5 & s/son's school for hot lunches somtimes... she has to cook couple of hundred of them:sick: The day before..got a couple of txt messages from her, warning me about the roads etc... then she txt me " u make sure ure careful i don't need u in the hospital!":confused: Never had so much contact from her in such a short period of time.... Now.. before anyone says anything... I'm not reading into this...or gettimg my hopes up...like I said before... I'm past that point... but.. wow... mark departure from the norm..?? It was nice....for the concern.... Made me feel warm... on and otherwise rather chilly day... Better get back to work... ilmw Hi ilmw! That's good news (maybe)! It sounds like she is missing you, but, like you said, don't get your hopes up. A good friend of mine has been strung along by his ex for 2 1/2 years now...she can't make a commitment to him, but gets terribly jealous if he suggests they start seeing other people...they have a sort of hybrid relationship that consists of no real commitment, but enough commitment to keep them from ever moving on with their lives. I hope that you're strong enough to avoid this scenario. All of this inbetween being together and being apart stuff must be so confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 4 full pages to catch up on. Hey ILMW what a couple of weeks you've had bud. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that crap. We got a whole 2" of snow today and the roads were a little greesy but for a boy who comes from our Nations Capital this was, a dusting, here.... let me tell you, the supermarkets are empty of water, the gas rationing has started and the army has been called.... now of course I'm joking, but they sure act like it, they see a little white stuff and the end of the world is near.. MAN -O -Man I wanna see our good buddy Gunny in this stuff.... "Hey Guns know how to drive an M109 Self Propelled? You might need it here... LOL, ilmw you are changing so much bud, you may not realize it but if you ever have the time, but go over some of the things you first wrote about this adventure, and how many times you mention being out, now it seems like if you're not looking after the little guy, sleeping, or working you're OUT, that is so positive.... One of the big problems I have right now and it's so frustrating and yes infuriating is that we live outside of the city, in the country, and to get anywhere I have to drive the kids, of they take the car, but it really is tough when you want to go out let's say a Friday night, I can after 10 since I have to get one from work at 9:15, the same goes for the next day, no sleeping in, I have to drive him to work for 8:00 and if he drives I'm stuck without wheels and being out here is not a great option.... So I've been finding it a little tough recently and complained to the EX ( She is my X in my mind, we're not married emotionally just legally) She says well get them a car.... Hmmm yeah right, as soon as I win another lottery..... Anyway folks, love reading about our travals and so many of us have grown from this. CC Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 I read your post this A.M. and the only thing I could picture in my mind was this picture post card from when I was a kid ~ LOL! It was of these two vultures on this dead tree limb in the desert. The one on the left was encouraging patience (you), that something would eventually die, and they would have something to eat! The one on the right, said "Forget that! I'm going to kill something!" (That would be me! ) You're the eptiome of patience! I wished that I could offer you something ~ but your DW doesn't fit the typical mold?! I don't think she's playing you for a fool. I don't think she herself knows how this is going to turn out, end up. I think she's just taking it one day at a time as it comes. She doesn't seem in any hurry to end the marriage ~ while not being in any hurry to reconcile either. Ordinarlly ~ "I need some time and space!" means its over and there's someone else ~ but in your case I believe it actually means she needs some time and space?! I would be interested in hearing LJ's call on the ball? :confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 I would be interested in hearing LJ's call on the ball? :confused: For whatever it's worth then... There's only a couple o' three things that could be going on here. She might genuinely miss him and be in the beginning stages of reconsidering the marriage. Or, she might be getting comfortable in the 'amicable divorce' scenario and could be busily cementing him into the 'just friends' category. Or, she might be keeping him from sliding off the backburner, much as Moongirl has described in her buddy's situation. As invested as ILMW is though... I'd have to say his SAFEST bet is to work under the assumption that she's "reconsidering". I say that because the only way to test those other two theories would require emotional distancing which would be damaging at this stage if she is indeed considering recovery of the marriage. Best bet is probably to continue in "Plan A" for the next month or two and then reassess. Look nice, smell nice, and BE nice. Let her see what an ATTRACTIVE guy you are, ILMW. If she's slipped into the comfort zone on 'just friends' and hasn't made any progress toward reconciliation, maybe it would THEN be time to shake things up a bit. I don't see anything to be lost by giving it another 6-8 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Thanks LJ, next time I'm down at the ranch in Texas, I'm going to recommend to George W, that he create a new cabinet post and make you the first Secretary of Love~! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 8, 2007 Author Share Posted March 8, 2007 Thanks LJ, next time I'm down at the ranch in Texas, I'm going to recommend to George W, that he create a new cabinet post and make you the first Secretary of Love~! :lmao::lmao::lmao:...good one Gunns Also thanks all of you... You hit it on the head... I have been through the split up thing before... more than one LTR down the sh*ter.. This separation... whatever you want to call it... is ...well... messed up... it a friendly sorta way.. I agree with everything you said Gunns.. LJ... I have always maintained Plan A... with the dressing smelling looking.. all pretty and stuff..... But started to go dim...and thanks for the assessment...also...thanks for the encouragement...:bunny:... I have maintained a certain level of fatalism throughout all of this.... mixed with some faith... and hope... expecting the worst...hoping for the best... CC ...good to hear from yah... and yeah... big difference between weather from Towa.. to Windsor... Your in the Friggen Canadian Rivera down there MG.. thanks for the words... like yours and everyone else's... helps me to keep my prospective. Well...I'm going out.... get a hair cut... then heading over to a budies place... and have a few tasty beverages ... Don't have s5 until tommorow afternoon... so today.... I get to be "stupid"... BTW... this is my weekend........ and I'm in an awesome mood...(tired though) " bloody shift work"... Take care all ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 11, 2007 Author Share Posted March 11, 2007 Hi all, Had a great weekend... had a few "pops" on Thursday night... let off some steem... S5 was dropped off by DW... and we had a nice quick chat... she confided with me she wanted to sell the van...and down size... as it is costing her an arm and a leg on fuel.... I just nodded my head... and did my best to keep my opinion to myself... After that.. I headed up to my mom and dad's place up north... and had a nice visit. They were over the moon to see me and s5. Also... in there spare room... my mom had put back up our wedding photos... I guess my positive attitude has rubbed off on her.... We don't talk about the separation.. as she gets upset... (my dad left her... years ago... and she in the early days of my separation.... blamed herself... for not providing a good example).. I gave her crap for that... and said.. Dad left you... and ran off with another woman... and dumped his 3 sons too.... you did your best to keep a roof over are heads.. and are bellies full. Anyway... I was surprised to see the photos. s5 was pretty good this weekend... but did pull some stunts.. which he summarily got in crap for... Back talking.. and pulling attitude... (i think he was showing off in front of the Grand parents..) Got him a time out... (which he hates) Other than that.... we had a great time.. He is so full of questions.. and the things that come out of his mouth... are priceless... I dropped him off around 12 noon today.. at DW's place. She seemed in a good mood... and we chatted for a little while... joked around with s/son and then left.. without "getting the hint" Another pleasant interaction... Got back to my apartment... and did some tidy up.... finally cleaned my bathroom......:lmao::lmao: (it wasn't that bad) and some laundry for work tomorrow. Now gonna kick back and relax... watch some movies and cook me some PadTai ... Mmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmmm... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Great news ilmw! You're doing really well! Pad Thai....mmmm...next time I get me a boyfriend, I definitely need one who cooks. Oh, and cleans bathrooms too! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Now gonna kick back and relax... watch some movies and cook me some PadTai ... Mmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmmm... ilmw Do I dare ask what PadTai is??? Sorry not something I have tried before but doesn't mean I wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 11, 2007 Author Share Posted March 11, 2007 Do I dare ask what PadTai is??? Sorry not something I have tried before but doesn't mean I wouldn't. Ask and you shall receive;) Pad Thai (or Phad Thai, Thai: ผัดไทย, IPA: [pad tʰai]???, "Thai style frying") is a dish of stir-fried rice noodles with eggs, fish sauce (Thai น้ำปลา), tamarind juice, red chilli pepper, plus any combination of bean sprouts, shrimp, chicken, or tofu, garnished with crushed peanuts and coriander. It is normally served with a piece of lime, the juice of which can be added along with the usual Thai condiments. In Thailand, it is also served with a piece of banana flower. There have evolved two different styles of Pad Thai: the version most often found in the streets of Thailand, which is relatively dry and light; and the version that seems dominant in many restaurants in the West, which may be covered in a red oil and can be heavy tasting. This dish was introduced and made popular as a national dish by Luang Phibunsongkhram when he was Prime Minister during World War II, partly for his nationalism campaign, and partly for a campaign to reduce rice consumption in Thailand at a time when the government faced a major budget crisis.[verification needed] He was helped in this regard by the famous aristocrat, Prapavee Kunuchit.[verification needed] Outside of Thailand, Pad Thai is one of the best-known Thai dishes, and is very popular in Thai restaurants in America and Australia. Its mmm, mmm, gooood:laugh: ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 Well, I finally got an email from my older brother. He contacted me... after me trying to get a hold of him for months... I have to say... it was quite the amazing email. He told me all about.. how he has suffered from depression (clinical) since he was about 12... and how his negative self fulfilling prophecy... has screwed up his life. He has never admitted once in his life.. that I know of ... that something was his fault.. and it was not the world against him... He finally admitted.. Its his fault:confused:... I have to say... wow. Now comes to the thing that he said that hit me ... and got my thinking again.. In many self help books... and those on relationships... they always speak of self love.. or having inner happiness. Well ... I had/have a great job... had a great house... in a great neighbourhood....had a wonderful family... and a great wife... the only thing I did not have... was ME.. I had everything most people would want... but because I WAS NOT HAPPY WITH ME... nothing else could truly make me happy.. Now this is not news to me now... but... they way it was put... by my older brother... just made me look at that old issue again... For those of you... new here....look at this fact... Are you happy with you? If not... Get happy.... because if you cannot find the inner peace... and happiness with yourself... You will not find it with anyone else. ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 So true. Your own happiness is the greatest gift you can give yourself AND your partner. How long has it been since you last spoke with your brother? Sounds like it's been awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Now comes to the thing that he said that hit me ... and got my thinking again.. In many self help books... and those on relationships... they always speak of self love.. or having inner happiness. Well ... I had/have a great job... had a great house... in a great neighbourhood....had a wonderful family... and a great wife... the only thing I did not have... was ME.. I had everything most people would want... but because I WAS NOT HAPPY WITH ME... nothing else could truly make me happy.. Now this is not news to me now... but... they way it was put... by my older brother... just made me look at that old issue again... For those of you... new here....look at this fact... Are you happy with you? If not... Get happy.... because if you cannot find the inner peace... and happiness with yourself... You will not find it with anyone else. ilmw Absolutely! If you don't respect yourself, love yourself, value yourself ~ how in the Hell are you going to give that to someone else? Think about it! I'm currentyl reading the paperback version of Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue" (I highly recommend it) and I've read some other of his books, such as "Self Matters" and the workbook that goes with it. (Another recommended read). One of the hardest things that any one of us can do is "self-acceptance" for who and what we are ~ as we are, flaws and all. As my signature line says ~ "I'm not perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome ~ and I'm working on the rest" A significant part of attactivness is confidence ~ how do you get confidence? By accepting yourself, valuing yourself, loving yourself, respecting yourself ~ not in a vain, arragont way ~ but in a loving and nuturing way. And, you've got to learn how to forgive yourself ~ most of us here are regretfull to find ourselves the otherside of where we started out when we first got married ~ but you need to get to the point to where ~ "You know what?! I did and gave and was the best I could at the time ~ and if I'd known then what I know now, if I could have and would done better. When women get a case of "Walk A Way Wife" Syndrone, about the only thing they do to the DH and SO's is to break their hearts, and make them a better man for the next woman that comes along ~ and it takes about two women to break your heart, hand you your ass to you, before you wake the hell up and realize ~ its "my fault" and then makes the necessary changes. Perhaps with the mass media, the internet, and sites such as Love Shack ~ that's all changing. In closing ~ a good book to get is ~ "Me! Five Years From Now!" Its not a book you read, its a book that asks questions and you fill in the answers! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 Hi all, Well Mg... I have not seen my older bro since Aug 05..lives the other side of the country.. not heard from him for about a year! Gunny... I actually just picked up Dr Phil's book "relationship rescue"...and yes.. it is good. Very to the point eh? It has good reminders for me... to keep me on track. Like a 2 x 4 up side the head.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 14, 2007 Author Share Posted March 14, 2007 Hi all, Well I bought the movie 'Sideways' the other day..(with Paul Giamatti & Thomas Haden Church) It was one of the inspirations to my trip to the west coast last fall. So .. anyway... part way through the film... the 2 heros go out to dinner in wine country... The Hitching Post... Holy crap.. thats where I had my steak and wine dinner.. when I went to Solvang Cali... one of the positions they had the camera ... was where I sat... near the bar.. Kinda felt.. cool... Anyway... back to my movie.. then a nap.. back on night shift.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted March 16, 2007 Author Share Posted March 16, 2007 Hi all, Heading out of town for the night... got an invite by DW's uncle to come over for some drinks and dinner. Its my BDay Sunday... and I have s5 for the weekend (cause its my Bday:).. and DW wanted s5 to be with me) also s/son is coming out with s5 and I on Sunday for dinner. He has not been over since January... and has barely talked to me... since that time.. but he seems to have warmed up allot in the past week or so... So ... I'll talka to yah later... Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! Hope you have a fantastic day..... Enjoy your road trip, the kids & being another year older & wiser. Just think how much smarter you are this year then you were last year & best of all how much happier you are about life!! Many bunnies to you my friend:bunny::bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Check out the movie "The 300" ~ AWESOME Dude flick! :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
mum2three Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Wishing you all the best. Enjoy your wkend with S. Eat lots of cake! Link to post Share on other sites
stubbornbutnice Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Well you gave me a nice Happy Birthday Soooooooooooo... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: I hope you have a nice time with your son! Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Happy Birthday ILMW!!! I hope you had a great day If I had known sooner, I would have bought you a cake and told you I baked it for you I swooned over a few cops today in the St Patricks parade and thought of you Blue flu and all Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts