Wintersbloom Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Thank you for reading my post. Are we ever really surprised when a partner who has lied and "cheated" on us in the past, insists he/she is being true only to discover this is not the case? In my situation, my hubby has been in contact with his ex's after promising me he would no longer msg them, he was planning to meet one of them!!! Oh yeah, and if "this" marriage thing didn't work out he wanted to get back with HER!! Oy, it's been HELL trying to get him to understand, marriage means NO other woman. Friends do not include members of the opposite sex. I'm not a jealous woman; I have given him "chances”. So.........here we are, months later. He has been "searching" for other woman on a sight. He has downloaded msg'r and he isn't supposed to be using them, has wonderful excuses about how "bunnies" installed them. (If I repeat the same experiment on how an msg'r got downloaded and even installed on his had, it just doesn't turn out that way). He has been receiving fwds from a woman ...usually just junk. But recently, how is your love life? Jus' wondering?" Oy! Ok, so I've done counseling, done the Dr.Phil deal and all I get from him is, robot like compliance. He finally said the other night, when I asked him to give up this other woman, "I've given up too much already". He wants to buy a house and is constantly asking me when we can start trying to have a baby!!??? What?????? PLEASE HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
melancholyaddict Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 OMG, whatever you do, do not have children with this man or take on the responsibility of having a huge debt together. I am a firm believer of boundary setting. Very early on in a relationship I set the boundaries the way I expect things to be, mutual respect, etc. I mean, how would he feel if you were IM'ing other guys? Probably not good. You have to decide where your boundary is and what your expectations are. If he can't comply with them, kick him to the curb. Otherwise, you will just end up an emotional wreck. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Thank you for reading my post. Are we ever really surprised when a partner who has lied and "cheated" on us in the past, insists he/she is being true only to discover this is not the case? In my situation, my hubby has been in contact with his ex's after promising me he would no longer msg them, he was planning to meet one of them!!! Oh yeah, and if "this" marriage thing didn't work out he wanted to get back with HER!! Oy, it's been HELL trying to get him to understand, marriage means NO other woman. Friends do not include members of the opposite sex. I'm not a jealous woman; I have given him "chances”. So.........here we are, months later. He has been "searching" for other woman on a sight. He has downloaded msg'r and he isn't supposed to be using them, has wonderful excuses about how "bunnies" installed them. (If I repeat the same experiment on how an msg'r got downloaded and even installed on his had, it just doesn't turn out that way). He has been receiving fwds from a woman ...usually just junk. But recently, how is your love life? Jus' wondering?" Oy! Ok, so I've done counseling, done the Dr.Phil deal and all I get from him is, robot like compliance. He finally said the other night, when I asked him to give up this other woman, "I've given up too much already". He wants to buy a house and is constantly asking me when we can start trying to have a baby!!??? What?????? PLEASE HELP! I would definately not suggest having children right now!! A baby does not need to be brought into this situation. Your husband sounds very young or immature or both. I dont understand why you married him, but you did. SO now it is up to you whether or not you want to put up with this or not. I am a firm believer that people do not change, only better themselves. If this is the man he has become, and he isn't showing any signs of maturing or remorse, then I doubt it will get any better. I don't want to be one that shouts "DIVORCE DIVORCE!!" but If ths keeps up and doesn't get any better w/marrital counseling, I would hardly think this is the man that any women would want to raise a family with and grow old with Link to post Share on other sites
bendit Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Figure out why you stay. Most wouldn't. If you stay you have to accept his behaviour. There is no mystery with this guy. No claiming ignorance. He is what he is and you tolerate it. regards Link to post Share on other sites
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