What do I do to make it stop hurting so much?

[kcalbb]

Ok, so I have read most of the postings and yes this is my first time posting to a site such as this. But I just don't know what to do and I feel as though my heart has just been ripped out of my chest.

 

To make a long story short, in high school I had the biggest crush on this guy but he wasn't into me. In college he was into me but I was in an abusive relationship. He was there for me during the time when I left the abusive relationship. He decided he was moving to New York and so we met before he left nothing happened except a few kisses.

 

A few weeks ago I get a message that he is looking for me and so I call him. Mind you I haven't seen or heard from him in close to seven years. He starts in on how he is divorced and has a daughter and then emails me pictures of himself. I respond to his email and have not heard anything from him since. That was last Wedensday, am I being to over anxious? I can't help it, he stirred up all these emotions that I had hidden all these years. I can't help but to think that I am obsessed and going crazy! Then I start thinking...is he still married? Because we have a three hour time difference and the few times he has called it has been around 9:00 his time. Do I call him? How do I know that he read or received my email? My friend told me to let it go because she just read "He's just not that into you" If that's the case then why did he call after all these years?

 

I don't know, I guess I just needed to get this off my chest....

[Love Hurts]

It is possible he is still married, he and his wife may have had riff.

In his moments of anger and or solitude he thought of you and contacted.

 

It happens, it does not mean he (if he is married) is ready to leave his wife.

 

This is just an opinon who knows what his circumstances are?

 

The focus must be on you. You can not allow yourself to get over anxious about something that may never materialize.

 

Advice, just take it with a grain of salt and keep on keeping on.

If nothing else becomes of this.......... you can be flattered that at his weak moment ............. he thought of you....... that's a feather in your cap. You were special to him. More importantly you can not allow him to disrupt your life.

 

Turn up the music and get on with your day.

[kcalbb]

Thanks for that, I really need some support. I am just having a hard time trying to understand why I am so upset over this. I have a million other things worse than this going on in my life that I could manage to hide deep down inside but he comes along and with one phone call (or non phone call) I'm a complete mess! It's so frusterating...I have been crying about this stupid thing for four days now and I don't know why it hurts so much. It's like I am so sad and I can't get out of this funk. I can't work, I can't eat, I can't do much of anything. It seems so dumb to me.

[Love Hurts]

Thanks for that, I really need some support. I am just having a hard time trying to understand why I am so upset over this.

 

I believe you felt you lacked proper closure when you two stepped apart.

You lingered over him for a long time, and did indeed grieve.

It took you along time to get over him.

 

He contacted you.. In doing that. He catapulted you all the way back to the feelings you had to deal with in his absence. You are right back there again... because you lacked the closure you needed.

 

See it? You can't let his whims tear your life apart.

Breath and relax, change your thoughts .. focus on something else.

Force yourself to. Or you will repeat your prior healing process all over again. Do you want to allow yourself to go into that place of pain? No

He is not worth your emotions.

 

You need to go out to dinner have a glass of wine and spend time with a friend ...vent. ..... and be done with it.

 

Please do something good for yourself,, you deserve it.