Where to find girls?

[j.carsey]

Where are the available girls and how do they meet guys? When I ask other female friends of mine (in other cities) they almost always say they meet guys through mutual friends or common social settings like work... but can random encounters in public also lead to new friendships or dating?

 

I'm a university student doing research in a field that has little or no single, younger women. The women that are around are too old for me, not my style, and my male friends are not actively seeking girls nor do they hang out with female friends. Because of my work, I don't have the opportunity to take classes or live in residence. Also I am new to this city so I have very few friends here.

 

So how do I find girls? Clubs and sports are an obvious one to try. Any other ideas? I am wondering if, as a 'lone wolf' kind of guy, I can find similarly individual girls who would be willing to take a chance and follow up with a random guy they just met. Too creepy? I can (and do) hit off conversations with random girls often, which start off great, but after a 15 min chat what on earth am I supposed to do to follow up? Often I give my own contact info, but never hear back. I think the brief meetings are too quick and not memorable enough for the girls to want to follow up with a complete stranger.

 

I'd like to hear your tips on how to draw out these otherwise short and one-time conversations into more substantial meetings. I know from experience that if I can get a 1 or 2 hour chat going, there is a basis to see a girl more in the future. So how do I get there from scratch, when I know so few people around here?

[Stupid_Dummy]

You should focus on doing what you like, not something that will help you get girls. Besides, you're overthinking things - be yourself!

 

Leave her satisified, but wanting more.

[Yamaha]

Join a gym. Get active in activities you like to do that might have women. Be bold when your out. If you see a gal that strikes your fancy talk to her and see if the interest is mutual. This is good practice in meeting new people and will help your confidence. Don't take rejection personally and you will find her.

[j.carsey]

I've actually been trying this, since asking about it on loveshack. Your advice about practising meeting new people is right on.

 

One thing I've found helps me is also talking regularly to not only girls, but also guys who are strangers. Like today, saw a guy carrying a university admission handbook and just started chatting. Asked him what he's applying to, what his plans are. We ended up talking about all kind of stuff.

 

I think talking to random guys like this is easier because neither side has any hangup about the possibility of someone trying to get in their pants (unless he was gay, which I doubt).

 

It generally doesn't go as well when I approach some girl. I have made sure I say pretty much the same things to girls as guys (very casual conversation) but the girls often cut it off sooner or are more tight lipped. Obviously they are concerned I have ulterior motives about chatting with them, or I seem threatening somehow.

[Sand&Water]

Join a gym. Get active in activities you like to do that might have women. Be bold when your out. If you see a gal that strikes your fancy talk to her and see if the interest is mutual. This is good practice in meeting new people and will help your confidence. Don't take rejection personally and you will find her.

 

The same can be said of women. It's not easy to put into practice.

 

One unique way to meet new women, is to through distant relatives and/or friends. Generally, though, any local safe place is a go. The library is an interesting place, as well, although it might come off as creepy.

 

Any guy coming off as being a rude cocky stud, just trying to impress his friends and stroke his ego is a major turn off. Rudeness doesn't buy you apples.

[Guest]

So here are some things I have found works...

 

First off, I was a lot like you, just didn't know how to go about this and worried that after 15 mins she would just go off and not be interested.

 

First things first - got to be confident, nothing turns a girl off more than someone who is second guessing himself all the time. Be confident and be demanding.

 

Second thing, you totally got the right idea about talking. Talki to everyone and anyone just so you get used to it, so when you do see a girl it comes very naturally.

 

Third - Repeat after me "YOU ARE THE MAN" - never worry or be concerned that you are boring or inferior in some way. Just be yourself, be funny, but get a flow going that works for you.

 

Fourth - where to meet - clubs and bars come with a stigma, but they are packed with beautiful women who expect to be hit on. Don't be afraid to go alone, but if you are with your buddies make sure you are the dominant one, like take up a lot of space at the bar.

 

When you are there, talk talk talk, aim to talk to 30-50 people when you are out. It doesn't matter who they are. Sooner or later one of those people will be a girl that you are interested in. Don't worry about looking across the bar at some hot babe and figuring out a strategy to go over there. Just focus on being sociable, when you get your confidence up you can go talk to her if you want.

 

Fifth - Don't be intimidated by hot women - they are human just like you and I. The key thing is, never blab about them being beautiful, if you can throw something out there that actually makes them question themselves a bit, you got them. Like "you don't seem like the type that would hang out here".

 

Six - If you are not as worried about looks, more average looking women tend to be responsive to very positive feedback, it's okay to tell them they are beautiful right away, it builds their confidence. Don't over do it though.

 

okay hope some of that helps.