I'm Tired, Depressed, Lost, Forgetful, and a Procrastinator... !

[Ms.Girl]

Please ONLY read this if you really want to give me constructive advice. I can't take any jokes, though I would love to laugh but I really need help.

 

YOU EVER GET THE FEELING THAT YOU LOST COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE? HOW DID IT GET THIS BAD? WHY AM I FEELING WORTHLESS?

 

I'm at the worst stage of my life. I don't know what to do anymore. I hate to complain b/c no one wants to hear ppl's sobing stories. I'm in such a despair. I can't go see a doctor b/c I have no money, no insurance, no job. I can't get a job.. I've sent out so many resumes a day and not even 1 call back. I feel like suing Monster.com and Careerbuilder. It's all a scam. They have this thing where if you pay them a certain amount of money your resume will get more noticed. Why would I pay for something when I need the money? Pathetic. I've also been to America'sJobBank.com. Nothing is working out. No one can help. I'm trying to network and keep myself going... I still attend events and gathering.. and whenever someone will ask me how AM I doing.. I let them know I need a job. I know my blog title states PROCRASTINATOR but for getting a job I'm not. When I have a job I'm a VERY hard worker. I enjoy working.

 

Let me say that I'm a savvy individual, I have good street smarts. I don't have a college degree. The last company I worked for 6yrs, laid me off 2yrs ago, we got bought out by another company. Since then, I've been working about 4mths at a time. Doing sales. I detest sales! It's not for me b/c if you don't meet your goal you get fired and I don't want that. I want a steady job. Being a single mom also makes it HARDER. I try to pay for my daughter to go to her school trips and keep my expenses to a minimal. My credit has gone rock bottom, so bad that the creditors stop calling. Yes they do stop. I called my car loan for them to take the car today b/c I just can't do it anymore. I paid for it for 6years and have 2more to go. I can't get a good interest loan b/c of my credit. This is my only option, letting go. I'm going to claim bankruptcy on my own b/c I will need the money that an attorney will ask of me, a retainer.

 

The point of this blog is that I'm deeply depressed. I"M IN SO MUCH DESPAIR. I wake up in the morning and have no motivation or ambition. I outlash at my daughter but she's such a good kid. I don't deserve her. My parents live in another country. I feel abandoned. We moved here to US when I was a little girl but then they forced me back to my country after high school, I couldn't stay in my native country anymore. I no longer was home for me. I decided to move back by myself. I wanted to go to college, I had scholorships but b/c I moved and didn't start school soon after college I lost my scholorship (sports). As far as student loans, I wasn't educated about that. My parents didn't care to prepare me like that for the future. Don't get me wrong, the principles and values they taught me is extremely rare these days and I won't change that for anything but I think they should've prepared me in a sence of educating me about my possibilities. Anyway, when I came back to US by myself, I was only a receptionist and was only making enough for my living expenses. I was only making $15K/yr. I visited with a financial aid advisor to apply for school and she told me that I was over paid. That I wouldn't qualify for financial aid. "OMG" I said to her "What is the max I can make to qualify?" she said "$8K/yr" I said "there's no way I'm barely surviving on $15K/yr, tell me who can live on $8K/yr?" She said ppl do. I couldn't understant that. That's just part of my story...

 

I can gaze into anything for hours and allow the time to pass, I HAVE NO MORE MOTIVATION. I try. I jog to keep my mind a little bit at ease. I never look forward to the next day b/c waking up is so difficult. I will wear the same clothe day in, day out. (Actually, I'll change after 1 day 1/2).

 

I also feel like I'm losing my MEMORY... I can't study anymore. I would like to better myself by reading books to enhance or add to my skills. But as I read, I can't store or remember what I read. I don't understand the words I'm reading. They are familiar but I don't know them anymore. I can hardly remember anything. I even forgot my math. I'm going to find it difficult to help my daughter with her school work b/c things are just slipping from me. She knows her times tables more than I do now... I want to keep up with the current events in case I get called for an interview I can hopefully blow them away by pretending to be smart but my memory won't retain a thing. I watch Jeopardi to learn about everything but I will soon forget. I'll forget silly things like what president is in a 1$ bill, or who invented electricity, or when was the 2nd world war. At this moment I know who but if it comes up I'll easily go blank... Can you imagine if I finally get an interview and I they ask me a question and then what? Not that they're going to ask me things such as what I just mentioned.. but.... you get the gyst!? I feel like I need to start ALL OVER.. like 1st grade perhaps...

 

PLEASE ANYONE THAT CAN GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE GUIDANCE, ADVICE.. PLEASE REPLY TO THIS POST.

 

SINCERELY,

HOPE?

[Great Gazoo]

I really understand where you are coming from. I myself have had the worst 2 years of my life and everytime I try to pull myself back up I get kicked back down. This last time my happiness only lasted for 2 weeks and I had the life sucked out of me. After losing our baby at 5 and half months and now losing another at only 6 weeks within 6 months of losing our little guy and the third within 2 years it is all to keep going but I do and you can also. We just have to believe there is something better out there. I really know how hard it becomes, how you feel all the weight of the world on you. Your mind does start slipping, you start to feel left out of society, that no one can understand you and your pain. You feel so alone in life because you think you are the only one life is dumping on but its just not true. Life is just a hard road. The only thing I can say is that your not alone in this. That you always can have hope for a better day and you will be able to look back at this time in your life and see how strong of a person you are. Your daughter should give you all the motivation you need, she can give you hope and a reason to keep believing things will work out. If we just keep trying and moving forward something will happen. That is what I am hoping for, that is all we can hope for.

[Outcast]

Your memory is gone because you're stressed. Same with your concentration.

 

You need to do two things. Number one is take care of you. Eat well - buy vegies rather than pasta. It is actually cheaper to eat well than to eat a lot of pre-prepared stuff. If you cut back on meat, your grocery bills can be quite reasonable. And if you're eating well, you'll help both your stress levels and your memory.

 

Second thing is take a walk every day. Exercise is crucial to mood. It's amazing how well it works.

 

Now about the job hunt. Posting resumes on big boards works if you're a tech genius but not for regular jobs. You have to spend a lot of time hunting but it can be done. First go to your local newspaper's online site. Check out the classifieds every day. A lot of newspapers allow you to subscribe to the classifieds and specify some keywords - then they send you all the job ads that match.

 

Then go to local company websites - stores, restaurants, whatever. Most organizations now advertise their jobs on their own websites rather than go to Monster, etc. You are much more likely to get a job by targeting local organizations than dumping resumes into Monster.

 

Call all the local temporary help agencies in your area and ask to register with them. You want a permanent job but very often a company will hire a temp with the idea that if they are happy with her, they will hire her permanently.

 

Remember to check the federal, state, and municipal government sites, local schools, hospitals, etc. for jobs. Bookmark the places that have a lot of job ads regularly and go back to them every day or every week.

 

Call your local secretarial college and ask for a hand with your resume. Or talk to someone you know - your priest, a friend - someone who can review your resume and see if it's in good shape. Also remember that you need to write a good letter to go with each resume; there are lots of online sites that show you how.

 

Understand that all the bad feelings are related to stress and that you taking care of yourself by eating well and exercising will help to relieve the stress, as will the feeling that you are taking action to solve your problems and that will come when you change your job hunt tactics.

 

Good luck!

[Ms.Girl]

I really understand where you are coming from. I myself have had the worst 2 years of my life and everytime I try to pull myself back up I get kicked back down. This last time my happiness only lasted for 2 weeks and I had the life sucked out of me. After losing our baby at 5 and half months and now losing another at only 6 weeks within 6 months of losing our little guy and the third within 2 years it is all to keep going but I do and you can also. We just have to believe there is something better out there. I really know how hard it becomes, how you feel all the weight of the world on you. Your mind does start slipping, you start to feel left out of society, that no one can understand you and your pain. You feel so alone in life because you think you are the only one life is dumping on but its just not true. Life is just a hard road. The only thing I can say is that your not alone in this. That you always can have hope for a better day and you will be able to look back at this time in your life and see how strong of a person you are. Your daughter should give you all the motivation you need, she can give you hope and a reason to keep believing things will work out. If we just keep trying and moving forward something will happen. That is what I am hoping for, that is all we can hope for.

 

 

Thank you for your post. I'm very sorry to hear about your experiences. Reading your response post allows me to realize that it can always be worse. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I appreciate you sharing your experience with me and I hope that soon things will become better for you. Yes, my daughter is my motivation, she keeps me going. I just wish I could give her more. I wish I could be more and have her be proud of me, but right now I can't. Hence the reason I feel worthless! However, I do keep trying... Thank you so much again.

[Ms.Girl]

Your memory is gone because you're stressed. Same with your concentration.

 

You need to do two things. Number one is take care of you. Eat well - buy vegies rather than pasta. It is actually cheaper to eat well than to eat a lot of pre-prepared stuff. If you cut back on meat, your grocery bills can be quite reasonable. And if you're eating well, you'll help both your stress levels and your memory.

 

Second thing is take a walk every day. Exercise is crucial to mood. It's amazing how well it works.

 

Now about the job hunt. Posting resumes on big boards works if you're a tech genius but not for regular jobs. You have to spend a lot of time hunting but it can be done. First go to your local newspaper's online site. Check out the classifieds every day. A lot of newspapers allow you to subscribe to the classifieds and specify some keywords - then they send you all the job ads that match.

 

Then go to local company websites - stores, restaurants, whatever. Most organizations now advertise their jobs on their own websites rather than go to Monster, etc. You are much more likely to get a job by targeting local organizations than dumping resumes into Monster.

 

Call all the local temporary help agencies in your area and ask to register with them. You want a permanent job but very often a company will hire a temp with the idea that if they are happy with her, they will hire her permanently.

 

Remember to check the federal, state, and municipal government sites, local schools, hospitals, etc. for jobs. Bookmark the places that have a lot of job ads regularly and go back to them every day or every week.

 

Call your local secretarial college and ask for a hand with your resume. Or talk to someone you know - your priest, a friend - someone who can review your resume and see if it's in good shape. Also remember that you need to write a good letter to go with each resume; there are lots of online sites that show you how.

 

Understand that all the bad feelings are related to stress and that you taking care of yourself by eating well and exercising will help to relieve the stress, as will the feeling that you are taking action to solve your problems and that will come when you change your job hunt tactics.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Thank you Outcast. I didn't write much about what kind of person I am. I agree with you, eating and working out is definitely a way to help keep ones head up. I'm also a big believer of eating right and staying fit. I try to pass this on to my daughter and I'm proud to say that she likes her salads and vegetables more than she likes her other meals. Our diet consists of a lot of fruits and vegetables and I only buy organic cereal from the health food store. I think it's safer. I know a lot of ppl are not aware these days of the kinds of stuff they put in the food selling in supermarkets that the food manufacturer promote to be healthy but really isn't. Well, I guess I'm on that right path with that one... But your advice just enforces and tells me to stick with it b/c I'm doing that right Additionally, I run 3 miles a day. I haven't in 4 days but will get back into it It's been raining a lot and I don't want my daughter to get sick but I will start again.

 

 

Let me explain a little bit about my job search. When I started working for the company of 6yrs I got promoted several times quite fast. My final position held with them was a position that would only be given to a college graduate or someone with 10 years experience. Now, with all this experience it just happens that if I just seek a customer service job, administrative assistant, help desk support, office manager or something less than what I was I'm over qualified (trust me, I don't care I just want the job) This is causing companies to think (which I have been told) that they feel it won't challenge me and I will soon be unhappy. How do you tell a company? I don't give a darn, I just want the job.. that will make me happy.. "I will bring success to your business". That's the dilemma that I'm finding in trying to get something less than what I've done previously. Recruiters don't understand why I want to go from $26/hr to $12/hr. I believe that if I was given the opportunity I could prove to them how deserving I am and eventually I would get what I used to earn. Now, If I apply for positions that fits my most recent position and skills I'm under qualified and I don't have a graduate degree for it. I have 4 recruiters working for me they claim they don't have any position that fits my skills at the moment. So, I just sit here wait and sulk.

 

I don't want to bring people down with my story, I just want advice and your advice is wonderful and tremendously appreciated but I'm doing those things. I can't write everything that's been going on b/c trust me this post would go on for 3 long pages. I hope this is not coming across as a smart *ss or unappreciated. That is not my intention. It's just got very complicated. Now based on what I stated in this post, what would you recommend?

 

Thank you so much for your post.

[dgiirl]

Outcast gave great advice. The only thing I can add is when you do send out cv's, make sure YOU call them and follow up on the job offer. Dont sit around waiting for people to call you back. Call them and show them that you are interested. This is how I got my first job. I had zero experience in what they wanted, but because I called them, they had another job offer which I fit into perfectly. I landed my first interview, then heard nothing back from them. So I called them back, and they hired me! They were just so busy that they didnt have time to call me back. So definitely show you are interested by calling them back. They might turn you down, but it's better to know it asap than a week or so later.

[Ms.Girl]

This message was duplicated. So I deleted it.

[Ms.Girl]

Outcast gave great advice. The only thing I can add is when you do send out cv's, make sure YOU call them and follow up on the job offer. Dont sit around waiting for people to call you back. Call them and show them that you are interested. This is how I got my first job. I had zero experience in what they wanted, but because I called them, they had another job offer which I fit into perfectly. I landed my first interview, then heard nothing back from them. So I called them back, and they hired me! They were just so busy that they didnt have time to call me back. So definitely show you are interested by calling them back. They might turn you down, but it's better to know it asap than a week or so later.

 

 

Thank you Dgirl. I agree Outcast's post is very good as is yours also. I responded to his post. Let me know what you think. I tried to edit it b/c I wanted to add something else but couldn't. I'm going to write another part to it. Thank you for your advice. I greatly appreciate it.

[Outcast]

Now, with all this experience it just happens that if I just seek a customer service job, administrative assistant, help desk support, office manager or something less than what I was I'm over qualified (trust me, I don't care I just want the job) This is causing companies to think (which I have been told) that they feel it won't challenge me and I will soon be unhappy.

 

Ohhh. I know exactly what you mean. I have two degrees and a fair bit of experience but I wanted to get a fairly simple job so that I could have some brains and energy left over at the end of the day for schoolwork.

 

Dumb down your resume. Take off some of the education and experience. Change your job titles. Even leave things out. You can create for each job application a 'related experience' section in which you only put the experience you want them to know about. Then try some other recruiters.

 

I took my dumbed down resume to an agency and they did tests - and figured out that my resume was dumbed down and why but I explained the kind of job I wanted and why and they went along and sent me to those sorts of assignments. Now I'm doing the kind of work I wanted to do - and the folks where I work have figured out I can do more but they also see that I'm quite fine doing the stuff I'm doing now.