Buying out home

[1AQUARIAN]

Looking for advice on this issue. Have a home in both our names we have lived in for 10 yrs. Husband wants me to "buy him out" ($50,000) so he can have a fresh start. He has said he will pay the mortgage AND the home equity loan for 5 years or until I sell. But he doesn't realize the amount of things. When I told him He would not be able to afford it, the child support alone is $1200/mo.he argued that "there is no way I spend that much on the kids a month). Told him that's the court figure by our incomes. I understand what he wants to do as far as getting a "fresh start".........but I don't believe I can afford the mortgage AND this equity loan.(I only work part-time)..even with the $1200/mon child support.I mean that is just temporary. My daughter will be 18 next year, and my son in 3 years.............I planned to go work FT in 3 years when they both are 18 as I work 3-11PM and am trying not to make things any harder on them with my not being here 5 nights a week.

My question is this........Can this be done where he pays for it as he says he will? He also brought up getting a loan in both our names "while we are still married".can we do that pending a divorce? I assume once he gets his $ he signs a quit claim and then both the mortgage and equity loan are mine reaponsibility???Any advice on this would be so appreciated.

Originally we were going to wait to the kids both reach 18 (three years) and each pay half the mortgage and then sell and divide.but now he wants $$$$.

[Skeered]

Didn't you get legal aid for all of this...if not you need to get it. Because of your situation of only working part time and such they may be able to help you figure a plan that works for both of you...however you might not have the luxury of working part time another 3 years...unfortunatly with divorce comes change for both sides, so you may have to step up and take full control by being able to support yourself better financially.

 

As you know I have followed your progress on here through your posts as your situation is quite similar to mine, but with one big difference, not to sound harsh, but I didn't put my fate in my ex's hands. I don't count on child support to survive...which is good because after 2 years I haven't gotten any, I would have been dead in the water.

 

Check with your legal council and see what they suggest, but your kids are old enough to not have mom home with them all the time. IMO

[933KJL]

Agreed--seek legal council.

 

Some thoughts from me..a promise to pay is only a promise and can never really be collected. Child support is one issue. Promising to pay a mortgage and a loan for 5 years is another--what if his fresh start is not so fresh and he loses his job--guess what, the house get's foreclosed.

 

My best friend and his wife got a home equity loan on their existing home in order to buy another home for him when they divorced. The agreement was that she got the main house and he got the other house (they both wee communal property) and then the rest of the assets were split accordingly.

 

Also, be careful about the child support. That seems high to me for 2 kids in almost any state unless there is some major money involved in salaries. But sometimes courts will award support not only on the charts, but on the earning potential of the spouse. My ex wife made a conscious decision to NOT work and the court did not look kindly on that and ordered NO child support since the kids' time was split 50-50. They ruled that she had the potential to make an equivalent salary as me and the fact that she wanted to remain home was a nice thought...but get a job. FYI she was a stay at home mom for nine of our ten years of marraige

[VegasFan]

I also think the child support sounds a bit high, especially since both kids are teenagers, and one is almost eighteen; if they were young it might be reasonable.

 

The older one should probably have a part-time job of his/her own anyway.

 

Also, why are you only working part-time?

[amaysngrace]

I also think the child support sounds a bit high, especially since both kids are teenagers, and one is almost eighteen; if they were young it might be reasonable.

 

The older one should probably have a part-time job of his/her own anyway.

 

Also, why are you only working part-time?

 

No offense, VF, but this is for a judge to decide. Every marriage brings about different circumstances, and it's likely there's details we are not aware of. I agree with everybody else otherwise...get a lawyer and SIGN NOTHING without one! In some instances, depending on salaries and reasons for the divorce, you could be awarded your counsel fees to be paid by HIM. Good luck to you.

[1AQUARIAN]

Thanks to all who replied. In response to some of the questions and views stated:

I work part-time as that is the way it has been in our home for 26 years. My husband and I always wanted me to be home with the kids. Also I work evening shift which would leave two teenagers at home five nights a week till midnight. Maybe alot of moms could accept this, but with my kids "histories" I know I cannot. Also, I have a history of depression and both my therapist and doctor do not feel I should work full-time with all that is going on right now. I have seen a lawyer, and papers are now ready to be filed. I am however trying to work out a settlement with my EX BEFORE he is served these papers..........I am trying to keep my teens in their home until their 18 (which is 3 years), which was the original plan, but now my EX wants some cash to start fresh. He brought up the loan actually.....and I think I'd like to "try" to see if we can agree on this......IF he "screws" me which I understand he can do as like it's been posted, there is no guarantee..........then I guess I'll have to do what I have to do. I'm basically just looking for him to help me get through these few years..........