Cant forget

[Fildo]

Can anyone give me advice.... I broke up wuth her in august after 2 years, a very good two years. We had a really really bad break up in which she punched me in the nose and i grabbed her arms to stop her hitting more, she had a bruse on her tricept from my index finger, she told a male friend from her work and then the famous game opf chinese whispers started. With in two days it had gotten back to me and her familiy that i bashed her from head to toe. So her parents packed up her stuff and she was gone.

 

We continued to see each other for a few weeks until i received a restraining order after a few visits from her work mates... In the time that we saw each other behind closed doors we held each other like never before, now three months down the track i cant forget i cant sleep and even worse i cant eat, i have lost over 13 kg and am now down to 68 kilos. I am at the stage of nothing left for me to do, im highly confused and stuck in a rut. I dont know how much longer my heart and body can deal with the pain. I love this girl as she is my first thought in the morning and last at night and the hope that we will get together again is the reason to wake up.... Please help...

[darcy38]

I went through the exact same pain a few years back, i lost so much weight some people said it looked like i had aids or something!!! You are going through the first stages of a extreme emotional crisis. I would imagine that this was your first major love? You must try and be patient in time the feelings will subside, i know this is small constalation, but thing will get better. You must try and find an emotional release, crying, excersize maybe a punching bag. Try and eat little bit at a time untill you stomach can handle larger amounts, you must eat!!! Fruits and veggies are a good start. Be as strong as you can during this time and trust me in time it will get better.

 

Best wishes Darcy

[midori]

Wow, what a mess. I'm sorry you're in such a bind.

 

It sounds to me like you're dealing with an emotionally unbalanced woman. It sounds like she played up (in fact, made up) the physical "abuse" that occurred in your relationship and capitalized on it to rally others around her. Why? Was she overwhelmed with anger or grief at the breakup and this was a way to gain others' overt concern & support? Has she always been a game-playing little manipulator?

 

You might think that this is all just a big misunderstanding -- but she created this misunderstanding and has nurtured it. If someone saw her arm and jumped to the wrong conclusion, she could have corrected them. Why didn't she? There have been many points in this scenario that she could have undone the misunderstanding or at the very least halted its progression. She filed a restraining order against you! Now if she really believed that you were a threat to her she wouldn't have snuck around to meet you "behind closed doors." So why the restraining order? People don't just arbitrarily or passively do the things she has done, their actions serve another purpose. What is her purpose -- attention? Some people need to create crisis and melodrama in order to avoid other things in their life that they'd rather not deal with. Some people are just really really bad at breaking up, they need to villify the other in order to justify what they're doing (but that doesn't mean they don't want to break up).

 

Given these circumstances I think you should respect the restraining order to the letter and keep far far away from her. This woman clearly has no scruples about twisting the facts and hurting other people (read: you) if it suits her. I know you love her but surely you can see that her behavior is not only inappropriate, deceitful and inconsistent but it borders on malicious. Oh, and don't forget the fight during your break-up that started the whole thing -- as you've described it she's capable of resorting to physical violence if riled. Not a good person to have in your life, especially if she's got you in her crosshairs. At best she sounds terribly immature, and she just might be crazy. Yikes!

 

Please eat some food. Please do some small things each day to vary your routine and move on with your life. Please see that this silly, crazy woman is not worth your grief and that you will meet someone far better. Good luck.

 

-midori

[fildo]

Hi Darcy,

 

I have done the crying thing and its to the stage where work often sends me home cause i cant handle it or even that i have passed out on several occations. I am waking up almost every nite in a cold sweat or crying or even screaming, the pain now has crossed the border of managment. The quack says "i will get over it" and "to stop being stupid and pathetic" so i have no faith in them so u guys are it!!! What i had with this girl was my life, we revolved around eachother and with eachother, it was heavan, i am only 21 but we had a life and now i am nothing. She was my best friend, and when the one that you trust with your life kicks you in the teeth as you know your stuffed. I know i should of forgotten bout her by now but each and every morning i wake up and roll over to look to where she once sleept and lose it, It is honestly getting no better. Well now i have poured my heart out again i cant type anymore keyboards getting wet. Thanks for your time to read these messages.. Thats to you all....

[jk]

'

Can anyone give me advice.... I broke up wuth her in august after 2 years, a very good two years. We had a really really bad break up in which she punched me in the nose and i grabbed her arms to stop her hitting more, she had a bruse on her tricept from my index finger, she told a male friend from her work and then the famous game opf chinese whispers started. With in two days it had gotten back to me and her familiy that i bashed her from head to toe. So her parents packed up her stuff and she was gone. We continued to see each other for a few weeks until i received a restraining order after a few visits from her work mates... In the time that we saw each other behind closed doors we held each other like never before, now three months down the track i cant forget i cant sleep and even worse i cant eat, i have lost over 13 kg and am now down to 68 kilos. I am at the stage of nothing left for me to do, im highly confused and stuck in a rut. I dont know how much longer my heart and body can deal with the pain. I love this girl as she is my first thought in the morning and last at night and the hope that we will get together again is the reason to wake up.... Please help...