Dazed and confused!!!

[Thomas]

I met this women on the net and she lives a long distance from me. We started to talr via the phone, this went on for three months, we tallked a lot!!! We also exchanged photo's. There seemed to be a solid lynk between us, a matter a fact it was getting very, very intense. About a month and a half in she asked me to go see her during her time off. I told her that i would love to but i did not know if i could arrange it, but i would try. I tried to get this done but i had some busness obligations that i had to meet. I quickly told her that i might not be able to go, she did not take this well she started to cry and said i was trying to dump her!!! I explained this was not the case and i still could go but i would have to sacrifice, she seemed sensetive and was sorry. So i pulled it off, it was'nt easy let me tell you!!! After i made all the arrangements every once in while she would question my motives why i was really going down. This bothered me but at this point i was in over my head, she would again say she was sorry and for me not to let her push her away. When i arrived everything seemed to be fine the first night there was some sexual interaction, but as the day's went on i could feel her with drawing from me, then she hit me with i am not sure this is going to work,well my heart fell into my stomach and i was so uncomfortable and confused. When we came back from our sight seeing tour i ask to talk to and i said that maybe it was a good idea if i left, well she went nut took an good old fashion temper tantrum, she never did answer my question!!! Well thing just went down hill from there. Since i have been back i have had a hard processing all that happened. The worse part is that i miss her and believe i was falling in love with her. I @mailed her a # of time but no response. It seems like in her mind i never existed, like i died or something. Is it relly possible for someone to profest that they care so much one minute then turn it off the next. Is this strange or am i just going crazy?

[MercyRose]

Its scary for her...things like this are scarier for a woman than for a man.

 

Also sexual interaction in the beginning may seem natural from an irc meeting point of view, even intense, however from a 'normal date' point of view it was your offcial first date )

 

So in her heart it may feel good but in her mind it may seem wrong, cos dates that have a future don't do any hanky panky till they have dated for a while and are 'sure' about eachother.

 

write her an e-mail trying to find out what went wrong, ask her if she is scared,write all possible reasons you can think off then try to reassure her on those points.

 

Tell her that you think you are falling in love with her and are prepared to go out her pace, win her trust.

 

Be patient, sweet and loving. Thats my advice )

[BeenThere]

You're not strange or crazy, but your friend sounds like a real looney. I can understand there would be some apprehension for both of you, but this gal seems manic. I think if you persue an actual relationship with this person you'd be in for an emotional rollarcoaster ride. Better to save your professions of love until you've invested some time in really getting to know someone--and that takes a lot more than a few emails, phone calls and photos.

 

Don't feel bad. MANY people get caught up in these fantasy on-line romances. And more often than not, when they're offered the opportunity to step out from behind the screen, they panic. They much prefer the safety anonymity provides, a buffer that helps them avoid dealing with reality. Perhaps your friend misunderstood your hesitancy to meet her. She may have been worried you were avoiding taking your friendship to the next level. There may have also been some underlying concerns that even if the two of you did hit it off, the distance between you would have made it impossible to persue a meaningful relationship anyway. She was probably also worried that your meeting would turn into nothing more than a one night stand, and she would be left feeling gullable and used...which might explain her behavior after your "sexual interactions".

 

Go slow...go slow! The internet can be a great way to meet people you wouldn't have the opportunity to meet otherwise, but you have to invest the same caution, time and *common sense* you would use if meeting someone for the first time any where else. Don't let this incident leave you shell shocked. There will be plenty more before you finally find that person you are compatible with!

 

Oh...and I should tell you, I met MY guy online as well! If your interested, our story and pics are posted on the site where we met. www.longhairedmen.com (under the "stories" section...Chris & John)

 

Good Luck!

 

I met this women on the net and she lives a long distance from me. We started to talr via the phone, this went on for three months, we tallked a lot!!! We also exchanged photo's. There seemed to be a solid lynk between us, a matter a fact it was getting very, very intense. About a month and a half in she asked me to go see her during her time off. I told her that i would love to but i did not know if i could arrange it, but i would try. I tried to get this done but i had some busness obligations that i had to meet. I quickly told her that i might not be able to go, she did not take this well she started to cry and said i was trying to dump her!!! I explained this was not the case and i still could go but i would have to sacrifice, she seemed sensetive and was sorry. So i pulled it off, it was'nt easy let me tell you!!! After i made all the arrangements every once in while she would question my motives why i was really going down. This bothered me but at this point i was in over my head, she would again say she was sorry and for me not to let her push her away. When i arrived everything seemed to be fine the first night there was some sexual interaction, but as the day's went on i could feel her with drawing from me, then she hit me with i am not sure this is going to work,well my heart fell into my stomach and i was so uncomfortable and confused. When we came back from our sight seeing tour i ask to talk to and i said that maybe it was a good idea if i left, well she went nut took an good old fashion temper tantrum, she never did answer my question!!! Well thing just went down hill from there. Since i have been back i have had a hard processing all that happened. The worse part is that i miss her and believe i was falling in love with her. I @mailed her a # of time but no response. It seems like in her mind i never existed, like i died or something. Is it relly possible for someone to profest that they care so much one minute then turn it off the next. Is this strange or am i just going crazy?