I'm very confused

[Vivian]

There is this bloke I quite like and we get on well. I can't tell if he's interested in me but we go out for lunches quite often (because we work for the same company) and we chat quite a bit ( probably because we've very similar qualifications and interests)

 

No idea if he's seeing someone else. Maybe, maybe not. Probably not

 

I don't want to ask him if he would like to be my bf because it's kind of tacky and i always have this perception that if a bloke really likes me, he'll do the asking-if he's interested only because i am intersted in him first, i would eventually get dumped when he meets the girl of his dream, true?

 

I also just came out of a very sad relationship hence maybe i like him only because i'm looking for a bf substitute .

 

What do you think?

[BeenThere]

Vivian, you're cute! Being from the eastern part of the US I'm not use to hearing guys refered to as "blokes"...haha.

 

Seems to me, if you want to spend some more time with this bloke, you should just come out and tell him. I wouldn't go straight for the *boy-friend* thing yet. That suggests a committment he may not be ready for yet. It might send him running.

 

Perhaps, the next time at lunch, you could ask him if he's seeing anybody. If he's not, than you can tell him that you really enjoy his company and ask him if he'd be interested in getting together and hanging out AFTER work sometime. Start off that way and work up to the *boy-friend* thing if it progresses.

 

Good Luck! I'm sure he'll be flattered!

There is this bloke I quite like and we get on well. I can't tell if he's interested in me but we go out for lunches quite often (because we work for the same company) and we chat quite a bit ( probably because we've very similar qualifications and interests) No idea if he's seeing someone else. Maybe, maybe not. Probably not I don't want to ask him if he would like to be my bf because it's kind of tacky and i always have this perception that if a bloke really likes me, he'll do the asking-if he's interested only because i am intersted in him first, i would eventually get dumped when he meets the girl of his dream, true? I also just came out of a very sad relationship hence maybe i like him only because i'm looking for a bf substitute . What do you think?

[darcy38]

You must understand that not all guy's will make the first move, maybe the exception and not the rule but there are men who don't. I would in a low keyed way ask him is he is seeing anyone? This will do two things, first you will no if he is involved and second he should pick up right away that you have interest in him!

[midori]

I think you should ask him to do something with you sometime, very casually. If you wait for things to happen to you, your life will pass you by.

 

I'm trying to get over heartbreak myself. For the first time since the break-up I'm going out tonight on a date with a guy I think is cute and whom I might actually be interested in. We met through some mutual acquaintances. I called him to ask if he'd like to get together. I couched it in a way that leaves it very casual and I don't know whether or not he's interested in me in any way other than as a potential new friend. For that matter, I'm not sure that I'm interested in him in any way other than as a potential new friend. But I'll never know unless I try. And I'll never get over my sense of loss until I find someone new.

 

Give it a try. What have you got to lose?

 

With High Hopes,

 

Midori

[Vivian]

We have seen a couple of movies together and we went out quite a bit (as friends). The thing is, if i have to be the one to initiate everything, it just shows that i am more interested in him than he is me. I am not sure if that's how relationship goes (sorry, i am a bit crap when it comes to relationship, i am very old fashioned when it comes to this sort of things in that I believe blokes should do the chasing...). Yes, he may agree to go out with me and he will probably be flattered but is that for real?