Do I let it go and move on??

[emma16]

This may be somewhat long but I will sum it up and answer other questions about it if I miss something. I have or could say had a FWB with an older man that lives down the road, it could almost be more than that without me knowing from being invited to family functions and helpng him the last two weekends redo his parents bar.

 

Anyways this started in January and we were hot and heavy for a while and things were great. Then of course in these situations one does develop feeling and I did. One night about two months ago he called me at 3 in the morning to tell me he was not over his ex that he broke up with three years ago. He told me that he knows they will never work and that he hasn't moved on and its hard. They see each other once in awhile and she will be in town this weekend.

 

Not the point I told him about a month ago that I had feeling for him and somehow that changed everything he had nothing to say to me so I told him that I am going to move on and not look back maybe we should go back to friends. Now I see him I still remained friends with his family and he can't talk to me he will turn his entire body away from me when I say HI.

 

 

His sister noticed and asked me "How did I hurt her brothers feeling?" By telling him how I felt about him and if he didn't return the feelings I thought we should stop our casual relationship.

 

The worst thing is we play ball together and I am hurt or mad I can't even look at him I gave him an open door to say lets be just friends and he can't even do that. I won't be mad it's just right now I am frustrated. He should know what he wants and be a man and say it.

 

I do know he has been under stress taking over the bar and still keeping a full time job at the mill working swing shift it's all a big step for him. I guess if something comes along can I just go for it with another man beucase he has not responded to me at all???

[morrigan]

When you got involved with this guy in a fwb, the entire dynamic of your friendship changed. It's often too difficult for both people to go back to just being buddies after that occurs. There may always be a level of discomfort or resentment. You were honest with him about your feelings, unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way and his ex is still in the picture. No one is in the wrong, it's just that you two aren't on the same level.

 

It's a good idea to back off from seeing him or hanging out with his family, as much for you as for for him. It will be easier to get past your feelings for him and possibly meet someone else if you're not around him as often.