AussieChick Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I'm curious to know how much attention guys spend on girls they don't have an interest in dating? Is it none, or is there such a thing as trying to be nice, be a gentleman whatever...where there's no interest, but time and effort is spent with her? Is there a difference with whether there's a potential romance, or just as friends with the amount of time and effort you put in?
elijahBailey Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I'm curious to know how much attention guys spend on girls they don't have an interest in dating? Is it none, or is there such a thing as trying to be nice, be a gentleman whatever...where there's no interest, but time and effort is spent with her? Yeah, as a matter of fact I do have female friends that I have no interest in dating. I just enjoy the company of women. They give me a different perspective of things. Me and my buddies bond in a different way, but women are just nice to talk to. But the tricky thing is that, more often than not, they try to string me along. But, as a guy, I understand some of them have their bag of girlie tricks they wanna use. So, if I still want their friendship, I'll just say .....'you always remind me of my sister'. If they get the drift and still want me as a friend, cool; if not, I bolt. There is also another category of female friends that I have. I do have interest in them, but I can't go further for my own reasons. I admit I do string them along subtlely sometimes, but if things start to get uncomfortable, I bolt. I guess it's just a human instinct to wanna feel desired. Is there a difference with whether there's a potential romance, or just as friends with the amount of time and effort you put in? There's no answer to this question. As many would attest, very often friendships develop feelings.
j.carsey Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I'm curious to know how much attention guys spend on girls they don't have an interest in dating? Is it none, or is there such a thing as trying to be nice, be a gentleman whatever...where there's no interest, but time and effort is spent with her? Is there a difference with whether there's a potential romance, or just as friends with the amount of time and effort you put in? I'm very nice to my female friends even when I don't intend to date them. I too just plain enjoy the company of women. Yes probably as I am more attracted I will pay more attention, but even attraction doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to date. Often I hear from women I meet (as friends) -- I like hanging out with you, but just to be clear I'm not looking to date. Well that's fine with me, I am still as polite as before and I suspect most guys would be... unless they were just after a quick fling, I guess. There are ulterior motives as well. As a guy, if you have female friends who can recognize that you're good material even if they are not interested in having you they will help you meet other women who might be interested. And then finally there's a spectrum here. Nothing is black and white. In my experience, it's not like you either have purely platonic friends or romantic lovers. There is a huge range in between. There can be mild flirting with no intention of follow through, crushes, quick flings, pleasant surprises (mutual attraction) etc. Or for whatever reason you might not want to date a friend of the opposite sex, but there is still an attraction and joy that comes from their presence.
RecordProducer Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 There is also another category of female friends that I have. I do have interest in them, but I can't go further for my own reasons. I admit I do string them along subtlely sometimes, but if things start to get uncomfortable, I bolt. I guess it's just a human instinct to wanna feel desired. I admire your honesty, EB. Not the honesty as honesty, but how you can define things objectively without pretending that you're 100% innocent. Your answers are always helpful.
Pantero Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Maybe this is just me, but I find it kind of awkward to be friends with a girl that has feelings for me when I have none for her. Hence, I've kept it polite and civil, but didn't go out of my way to be overly-nice in an effort to keep from leading her on. I also tend not to keep in touch with ex's too often either for that matter. I don't know - it's just not the same when feelings are involved. Maybe after some time, it might be fine and dandy.
hyakku Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Well it depends on your definition of like. I know a girl that I'm not sure if I'm actually interested as her in a person or not, but I do wanna f*ck her. So in this aspect, if they want a f*ck buddy why not? And if they aren't romantically interested, why can't I have friends that are girls? Thats of like saying, Women must only date men, and allow no other relationship to occur. Its stupid.
Author AussieChick Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 Hey guys thanks for your input - you all seem to pretty much be in agreement (in a round-about way!! ). I'm friends with lots of guys - and like EB appreciate the different opinions and take on life they offer than the gals...As Record said EB - you summed it up rather well. As you have probably guessed there's just one guy in particular that I made a rather drunken confession to (of my desire to be 'more than friends'), and (to my amazement) he hasn't 'done the bolt' as I expected (as we're relatively new friends, and so there isn't a long friendship on the line) And although he also hasn't made a move - he's still just as friendly and spending just as much time with me before the drink got the better of me!!. I know of one other girl in our circle of friends who has made it clear that she is attracted to him - and he is 'polite and civil' but has definitely removed himself from her - guess I'm just wondering if there's a reason he's still great friends with me - but given her the brush off, I guess time will tell...
elijahBailey Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 I admire your honesty, EB. Not the honesty as honesty, but how you can define things objectively without pretending that you're 100% innocent. Your answers are always helpful. < >
Jools Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 If i substitute the word 'like' in the question to 'fancy' then the answer is most certainly yes. I wouldn't see it as wasting time with them, if a man enjoys the friendship of women then its just the same as being friends with another bloke. I don't fancy any of my male friends but they're still my mates, thats coz i have fun with them and enjoy spending time with them. So in short, even if i don't fancy them, if i enjoy their company then a woman can have as much time as they want. Just like all my other m8s, regardless of gender.
ronnieromance Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Depends if she has a trust fund or something of similar interest to make up for the lack of interest in her as a person. -R-
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