angel7 Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Hello. I need some advice please. i think i'm in denial of my bf being a liar and cheater. we've been together for over a yr. i'm partially the reason him and his ex broke up but i didn't know that at the time because he told me that they broke up already (i feel bad about that now but i really didn't know). Anyways, once in a while his ex would email him and he'd let me know. he claims he hates her and calls her names. i tell him not to because there's no reason to call her names. for the last little while, he said he hasn't talked to her at all. then, i looked through his text messages recently, and found that he did talk to her, and he had a text that he sent saying that it was good talking to her like old times. i got so upset and hurt that he did this behind my back and didn't tell me he talked to her. why call her when u hate her? i dont' understand that. anyways, this led me on a rampage of finiding out what else he's lied to me about. And it turns out that he messages girls online saying inappropriate things. and he talks to girls that he tells me he hates. here's no point in saying you hate them if you email them and what not. I don't know what to do. I can't tell him I got his passwords and found all that. he tells me all the tiem that he wou.d never cheat on me and that he loves me so much and i make him completely happy. i'm so hurt because i am so good to him. is he using me or what is he trying to do? he even admits to me that i'm sucha good gf. this may be irrelevant but i am a very GOOD gf and many men are attracted to me. so why is my bf doing this???? is this online messaging thing common? he tells girls they are hot and says sexual things to them. pls help. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 You know he cheated on his ex and lied to you to hide it. You know he's lying to you now about his ex and his online activities. Whatever he might feel for you, he is lying to you, and he's not finished with his ex. There's really no point in confronting him with anything - he'll just keep lying to you. The more he lies, the more hurt you will feel. You can't resolve anything if he won't admit there's anything that needs to be resolved. You're better off with a man who is totally into you, just you. Link to post Share on other sites
scrybe74 Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Your relationship started with a lie and seems it may end with one too.... Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Sorry you are going through this. If he is saying sexual things to other women, then if he isn't already cheating, he probably will once given the chance. Some guys get off on getting ego strokes from other women. Sounds like he says he "hates" these women to throw you off track. How deceitful. He sounds insecure and immoral. NOT your problem, unless you stay with him. The poster is right who said he will keep lying to you. No need to confront. You have all the info you need to make your next move. Big hug to you. Just stop taking his calls. In a few days, talk to him and tell him to go text some woman he "hates." Then hang up, erase his number, and move on with your life. There is something better ahead for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. I'll leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. I'll leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Unless we are all squeaky clean (which we arent) then stop casting stones. I mean,...you have no proof that hes cheating. So without proof, all this does is drive you crazy with the "wondering" whats really or not really going on. You have crossed that line of distrust. You no longer trust him fully. That is an issue with YOU. Its an insecurity that YOU have. Unless you work THAT out with yourself, you will have this problem with every single relationship you have. Its amazing to me that you think hes being deceitful and you think he'd be a jerk if he was doing something behind your back,....but, you have no issue with invading his privacy and sneaking around looking at his personal emails or IM messages. Amazing. You are doing the same sneaky things. What if you snooped and found nothing?? A million dollars says you wouldnt fess up to the snooping. Your snooping has everything to do with your own insecurities. The very insecurities that probably were caused by you starting a relationship by being the "other woman". Link to post Share on other sites
angel7 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Thanks for your posts. The reason why I even started snooping is because I found out he lied to me about his ex. I know this insecurity and his lying we'll eventually break up. but, he won't fess up to anythign he did. i ask him indirectly. i want him to fess up and tell me why. That's all. I just want answers I guess. Thanks for your guy's advice. i apprecaite it. =) Link to post Share on other sites
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