Guest Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years - back in Jan he proposed and I said yes. We have had our differences in the past - but I feel we have worked things out and are on the same page - and ready to move forward. All along during the planing of the wedding, he has been a little distant - which I was told is normal for men. Now, we are weeks away from the wedding date and he anounces that he thinks we should postpone the date. I'm confused - he asked me to marry him - he was so happy at first - now he picks apart every little thing we say and d0 - is he just having cold feet or is he really trying to get out of this relationship? When I ask him - he tells me that he loves me, wants to spend our lives together - but wants to push the wedding date back a few months....any thoughts??? Link to post Share on other sites
sunseed Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 If you suggest premarital counseling as a good, healthy way to get ready for marriage, it might get some communication going. Just a thought. Good luck honey! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Have you asked him what he expects to happen in those extra months that will make him more ready to get married? Postponing a wedding is wierd unless there's some specific reason - like, his job situation is up in the air, so he can't take the time off for wedding and honeymoon until later; or his mom is having surgery, so postponing until she can be at the wedding might make sense. But if he's getting cold feet, unless he can talk about what his fears are so the two of you can deal with them together, postponing is just a coward's way of saying he wants to call off the wedding but he hasn't figured out how to tell you that...he's not ready to lose you, but he's not ready to marry you, so into limbo you go, indefinitely. If he does want to do this, I'd recommend that he be responsible for making all the calls and telling people he's postponing the wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 If he does want to do this, I'd recommend that he be responsible for making all the calls and telling people he's postponing the wedding. I agree - if he chooses to postpone it is his responsibility to tell everyone Link to post Share on other sites
slinkysu Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 If he does want to do this, I'd recommend that he be responsible for making all the calls and telling people he's postponing the wedding. i agree - if he chooses to postpone it is his responsibility to tell the guests Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Have you asked him what he expects to happen in those extra months that will make him more ready to get married? This is indeed the important question. What does he expect to happen that's going to make him more ready. I'm planning my wedding currently and my SO certainly isn't distant! Ok, he's not as interested in every last detail as I am, but he's a guy!! It sounds like he's not ready to get married, but doesn't know how to tell you. Did you agree to get married as soon as you got engaged? Did you discuss how quickly it would happen? When is the wedding meant to be? Link to post Share on other sites
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