What To Di If She Dumps You

[RealBroken]

hmmm, what really sucked is that SHE was the one that was always contacting ME after the break up through texts.

Her response after me delivering the card was actually "it feels like your stalkin me, please dont contact me again" I thought that was uncalled for, specially since she was the one that had been sending ME messages, i only ever SOMETIMES replied to the. Maybe was because i stopped by her letterbox to deliver it.

Has just been SO so unfair on me.

 

Ok so she needs to think im with someone else, holy hell. How.

I cant reliy on her running into me over her holdays with someone else. Might not happen. s***!

[RealBroken]

Ummm, she also still is hangin on to some of my stuff.

 

Ask for it back maybe???

[MTK]

Send her a b-day card. Sign it normally, and nothing more.

 

Use example 1.

[RealBroken]

Thats what i thought i had done....????......... used example 1.

 

i.e wished her luck with everything, "as long as your happy, ur decisions are urs"........... and at the end i did actually say goodluck.

 

But i got the kick in the mouth?!?!?! Maybe was the "as a friend im always here for you" i dunno.

 

I just cant help but think,..... surely you'd judge a person on what you had in the relationship....ie the good times and the bad etc.......

 

This whole, games thing of ignoring and gettin on with life all just seems weird. Is hard to comprehend.

 

Wouldnt they want you back because of what you had as a couple? I dunno.

 

I've got two sets of ppl tellin me to do different things ha ha.

 

Maybe a birthday text rather than a card. Card is pretty personal,,.... or could it bring back feelings of he relly is a nice caring guy.

 

Oh i forgot, girls want an arsehole???? aarrghhh whats the right decision for me. man its so hard.

 

Another thing, once she is over me. Do you think that one day, after running in to each other later on, theres no chance of rekindling those feelings. She found me very attractive once...... can she not again. Apparently i was the perfect catch.

[Pantero]

Example #1

 

Earlier this year I met a girl in a 3 year LTR. She admitted she was attracted to me and started developing feelings for me. Things with her boyfriend were turning stale and in the end she decided to break up with him and pursue a relationship with me.

 

I felt flattered and rather cocky knowing I had just won this girl from her long term boyfriend. Things were going well, she didn’t want to talk to him and every time he called she brushed him off. Her friends praised me, she was proud to be with me and things were developing fast.

 

However, her ex-boyfriend suddenly changed his attitude and instead of getting jealous of me or upset over being dumped, he gave us his best wishes, told her there were no hard feelings and he moved on. He started hanging round with his friends more and stopped calling her. After two weeks of not hearing from him she started calling him to check if he was ok and see what he was upto, only to find he was fine and enjoying his free time. Soon she started pushing him to remain friends and asking him to meet up with her. He postponed, cut his calls with her short and even stood her up a few times. Yet she persisted more.

 

All this time I could see it was getting under her skin and that I was losing her affection. I could have been the perfect guy, but he had the upper hand and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. Every time he made an excuse not to meet her or ignored her call, she would get uptight and keep moaning about him. Sure enough she told me she wanted him back. She left me and started pursuing him all the time, but he continued backing off. She became obsessed and depressed, wouldn’t look at another guy and even burst out crying if he didn’t answer her calls. Next thing I hear, they’re back together under his terms. He had her in the palm of his hand, even cheated on her and she still stuck with him and remained loyal.

 

This ex-boyfriend of hers obviously had a life. And once she dumped him, he got on with it (his life). Some bounce back quicker than others, and this guy bounced back quick. Talk about emotional ju-jitsu. I mean - you THINK he'd be the one who's in a mess rather than her....lol.

 

 

Example #2

 

During my wuss guy days, I was brushed off by a short term girlfriend. She told me she needed time to herself blah blah, but she wanted to stay friends. I took that to mean I could win her back, so I called her and text messaged her regularly, only to keep getting brushed off. I asked her to meet up and she refused or stood me up.

 

I then found David DeAngelo’s Double your Dating and started applying some things I learned. I tried being more cocky and arrogant with her, tried being a jerk, tried being more bold, started standing upto her and eventually it scared her away completely and she completely ignored and avoided me. She even told her friends I was acting weird and it was freaking her out.

 

Haha.

 

 

Example #3

 

I had a few dates with a girl some months ago. We didn’t hit it off particularly well, but there was some physical attraction. After the 4th date she sent me a text message telling me she felt no chemistry and we should stop seeing each other. I replied by telling her “You’re right. No hard feelings”.

 

The following day she contacted me again asking if we could give it another try. I told her no, she was right there was no chemistry. She called me to have a go at me and insult me, then called me a few hours later to apologise. I told her it was no problem, but I was on my way out so I couldn’t stay and chat. She started sending me flirtatious text messages and emails, suggesting we get together for sex. I ignored them. Soon I started receiving anonymous calls and text messages (which I suspected and later proved was her). Almost a year later, she still sends me occasional emails asking if I want to meet up.

 

lol...good deal, mang.

 

 

Example #4

 

A female friend of mine was in a relationship for 2 years with a typical “nice guy”. He’d buy her gifts, pay for her and do anything for her. She flirted with guys in front of him and he’d just sit there like a goof and say nothing. Then she finally accepted he was “too nice” and decided to break up with him.

 

At first he cried and took it really badly. He confessed his love for her and asked how he could change. Meanwhile she started f***ing another guy in secret. Every time this new guy was mean to her, she’d call her old boyfriend and he’d take her out and buy her gifts etc. Then she’d ignore him for weeks after.

 

Next time she tried to contact her ex- he finally acted like a man. He told her it was over, he wasn’t interested in being friends any more and she should stop calling him. She did the exact opposite and started calling him more. He started ignoring her and she started getting upset and moaning to her friends about how she regrets leaving him and she was stupid for letting him go.

 

Months have passed and she still tries to contact him. She recently found out he has a new girlfriend and since then she has been crying herself to sleep at night, looking through old photos and listening to their favourite songs. She has said she would take him back within a second, has begged him to give her another chance, but he has refused.

 

I'm glad this happened to her. Serves her right AND now next time she won't make the same mistake. There's no greater teacher than a bad experience.

 

 

Example #5

 

I started getting interest from a very attractive girl and so I decided to ask her out. She seemed very keen and we arranged our date. The day came and she flaked out on me, sending me a last minute text message saying she was too busy. I never replied.

 

Next time I saw her I was polite, showed no hard feelings, but I spent the night talking to her friend. The flakey girl kept trying to get my attention, kept glancing at me all night and looked really uncomfortable. Eventually she left and I casually waved bye to her and continued talking to her friend.

 

Two days later, she called me (I missed the call), then emailed me a dramatic apology, telling me how she regretted not meeting me and wanted another chance. I waited two days then sent her a text message asking if she wanted to meet. She replied within 10 seconds and her friend told me she had been moping for days, checking her phone and her email to see if I would get back to her. We did go on our date, but I’m seeing someone else now so I didn’t pursue it further than that.

 

lol...

 

 

Conclusion

 

People place higher value what they can’t have or what they fear losing. When you are rejected or dumped, back off and you make their decision final. Don’t be taken for granted, don’t try to seduce them, NEVER try to explain or repair mistakes, don’t try to be friends, don’t change who you are or put on any acts, just cut them off and get on with your life. If they try to get in contact, be polite, but indifferent and don’t give them your time. Your time now is for other things and other people! Finally, if and when you do take them back, do so on your own terms and continue letting them know you can’t be taken for granted!

 

This is old advice and a golden rule, but hopefully the examples I’ve given have helped illustrate and emphasise this point.

 

Indeed.

 

As for people past 30+ playing or not playing games...I don't know. I'm under 30 myself, but not too far off. To me, it seems that silly high school and college head games usually turn into a courtship. Break-ups, I think, the older you get the heavier and more damaging they are for both involved. Not to mention the maturity (hopefully) would come into play and people would address the problems as they should.

 

But hey, we can all dream can't we?

[RealBroken]

I just thought, me not contacting her for so long may get her thinkin whats he up to......... guess it may not work if she's the one that asked for NC. How do i put the shoe on the other foot guys. Help!

[rkman]

Stick to your guns man. Be strong, for yourself!

 

I know it's eating you alive that she is moving on not giving a s***. Denial, is a strong mental guard. If indeed she cares for you, it will hit her like a freight train in a couple of months. People want what they can't have, and value their wants more than anyone's needs. Hopefully she will learn something from it. If she learns, only at that time can you honestly say you'd be ready to even consider taking her back. During that time, express yourself but don't become overly obsessive with doing so. Be angry, be honest, but most importantly reflect upon the entire relationship and learn a little more about yourself.

[donpepot]

LOL ~ wthe originator of the thread is obviously a student of David DeAngleo's material, as am I. I actually don't spread the word to much about David's material ~ because it cuts down on the competitiion. I've yet to come across any of David's material that hasn't been helpful.

 

People do what works ~ and don't do what doesn't work.

I read david deangleo material but as i read so many e books a tried my reasearch i dont recomment it as a top notch.. top 5 maybe but not top 1 there is another one but i wont mentiin it either

Its finding out what works! And, doing what works!

EXACTLY...GOOD POINTS MAN

[RealBroken]

DONDEPOT

 

Can u please read my above threads, still needing advice.

 

Thanks........ Also thread "i think im going to email....."

[Fun2BMe]

.. top 5 maybe but not top 1 there is another one but i wont mentiin it either

Why are you holding back with the info? Who are the top 5 you like? or at least the top 2?

[donpepot]

realbroken sorry man...private message me..so i can focus to u better...

[RealBroken]

Ok, I cant work out how to send a private message. Help anyone?

[donpepot]

Why are you holding back with the info? Who are the top 5 you like? or at least the top 2?

sorry man im not here to advertise any e books and other sites im here to try to help those guys who in hell of life ryt now..

[donpepot]

DONDEPOT

 

Can u please read my above threads, still needing advice.

 

Thanks........ Also thread "i think im going to email....."

MAN SORRY I THOUGHT THERE IS A PRIVATE MESSAGE ON THIS SITE..OK IM ALL YOURS NOW...HOW CAN I HELP YOU...expect my reply tomrow ok...keep your cool..

[RealBroken]

Hey thanks,

 

If you just read the threads above here,....

 

Or better "I think Im gonna email her........."

Ive just replied to that one with exactly what Im wanting to get thru message wise....... i think there has been a bit of confusion.

 

Ta

[donpepot]

On both occasions my cuzz was rejected for carrying on like a needy wuss and was dumped for another guy. So he just thought 'f*** this I'm outa here' and would cut all contact DEAD!!

Anyway, with the first girl after about 2 months he bumped into her one night and she gave him a lift home, by this time he really couldn't give a shyt because hed met another girl which he guess she picked up on. On parting he just said thanks for the lift. he then bumped into her again about a month later when he was out with his mates and she was all over him, but he told her he was happy with his girlfriend, the look on her face was priceless!!

THEN about three months later she called him up out of the blue explaining that she knew he was p!ssed off with her but did hed fancy going out some time, he said his gonna call her but never did. He later heard that she was crushed when he never called.

The next girl (solid 9) he was in a LTR for about 5 years which started off well but kinda died down after he slowly turned into a whipped puppy dog....ouch!! She dumped him for another guy, so again he cut all contact DEAD!! Within 3 months she was back saying that the other guy was an ar$ehole and wanted him back. But by then he was interested in the chick that also my friend (a whole other story) so he blew her off. However she did continue to call him every now and then for 18 months before giving up. She then met someone else who she's now engaged to but just had to let him know by text message that she had done so, women eh.

[RealBroken]

DONEDEPOT

 

Thanks for those examples man. They are encouraging. I guess NC all together is the answer, not even for her 21st. Man I'l feel like a prick, its not really fair as ur 21st is a big event here, but i guess its what i have to do. I guess if i wasn't gonna be invited anyway,.... then why not. But wld i if I opened up the communication by sayin happy 21st? probably not worth the risk. Is kinda upsettin, we always talked about her 21st and started discussing plans, she wanted me to sing at it. Im a singer song writer. Gutted, I guess u can see how its gonna be hard for me to deliberately ignore it.

 

Just thru interest DONDEPOT, how old are the people in the examples and what country, just trying to compare some things.

 

Thanks

[donpepot]

e mail [email protected]... lets talk there

[Guest]

I agree. Too much of the advice here centers around playing games. Playing games is what you do when you have an emphatuation for someone, not if you both truly love one another.

 

Now, if you truly love one another but one stops loving the other, then the games won't help anyway. Game playing is good for getting some booty, but not good for true love.

 

 

Brandon you are being far too logical my friend.

 

I think every guy out there wishes we could just be ourselves and not have to play silly games but i'm afraid it just won't work if we do.

 

It makes me very, very sad as i'm quite a soft hearted genuine guy but if guys like me are open and honest and show our vulnerability we will be completely walked over.

[Guest]

I've copied and pasted the advice for understanding women that I gave a link for earlier as I saw that there is no copyright problem as long as the whole piece is reproduced.

 

Here is the full depressing reading in full.

 

ROSS IN RANGE

By Popular Demand:

Understanding Women & "The Rules" For Men, or

Think of it Like Driving in England

By John Ross

 

Copyright 2003 by John Ross. Electronic reproduction of this article freely permitted provided it is reproduced in its entirety with attribution given.

 

Judging from my email traffic, a lot of you are absolutely clueless when it comes to dealing with your wives, girlfriends, and women in general. I get more praise for the 7/7/03 column than all the other ones put together, and "Give us more!" is a common refrain. Okay, here goes. It's Women 101 at John Ross University and class is now in session. Reread the 7/7 column first so I don't have to repeat myself.

 

Note: What follows are general truths, in the same vein as the statement "Women are shorter and have much less upper body strength than men." Don't annoy me with emails telling me how you know a woman who's 6'5" and benches 400. I don't care. This column deals with the default mode of American-born women under age 45. (I don't have any experience with women older than 45 to comment with confidence about that age group.)

 

1. Women process (and act on) information completely differently than men. Never forget this. Stop thinking of women as screwed-up men and start realizing that their minds were built from an entirely different blueprint.

 

Just as a hawk can discern details at distances that a man needs a ten-power scope to see, a woman is many times more capable than a man at reading the emotions of other women. (Women may be equally capable at reading men's emotions, but have never seen a need to.) Walk into a large party with a woman. You, the man, will see a bunch of people in a room, talking in groups of two to five. You'll see where the food and bar is, and notice any exceptionally attractive women in the room. That's it. Your companion, however, will be able to tell you which woman is angry, which one is lonely, which is happy, which is upset, which ones feel self-conscious, which ones are jealous, and (probably) which ones are having affairs and with which men. Your female companion will be able to accurately tell you these things within ten seconds of entering the room.

 

This ability comes at a price: Women are many times more sensitive than men to emotional pain. Imagine a man whose skin was so sensitive that ordinary contact was painful. Whenever someone shook his hand in greeting or clapped him on the shoulder in congratulations, it would feel to him as if boiling water were being thrown on his flesh. Now turn that disparity in physical sensitivity into emotional sensitivity and you'll get a good picture of a fundamental difference between men and women.

 

Men seldom if ever need to know what a group of other women is thinking, so they usually experience a woman's heightened sensitivity from the negative perspective. They hurt their wives' feelings without realizing it (just like the handshake in the above hypothetical) and then are baffled when their women are upset with them, often for days or weeks at a time, for seemingly no reason. (I'll discuss what to do about this later. Keep reading.)

 

2. Men and women have very different definitions of integrity. Men have integrity to their word, but because of the heightened sensitivity as explained above, women have integrity to their feelings.

 

Women base their actions on how they feel at the time. This means that if something no longer "feels" right, they won't do it, period. It infuriates most men when a woman "flakes" on them. ("Flaking" is the term that men who study this sort of thing use to describe when a woman who has eagerly made plans with them doesn't show up, or calls at the last minute to cancel because her girlfriend needs consoling etc. Roughly speaking, a woman's tendency to flake is proportional to her options and inversely proportional to her age, although I did meet one 38-year-old single mother of two with this habit.) Understand that the need to be true to one's feelings is an extremely powerful force with women. Look at the dominant theme in all romance novels: The woman is "swept away" by emotions too powerful to be denied, and has an affair when everyone knows she shouldn't. Another example is the adage "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Even the former First Lady (according to the Secret Service) regularly threw things (lamps, etc.) at her husband when angry. Can you imagine a man doing this, instead of saying "Next"? The idea is ludicrous.

 

If you're a man, you probably do what you've agreed to do (help someone move, etc.) because you said you would. However, you wouldn't go through with your plans to help your acquaintance move if it had suddenly become a felony with a mandatory 10-year prison sentence to do so, would you? Of course not. Ten years in prison trumps a promise to move furniture. Well, that is the kind of aversion that women have to doing things that no longer "feel" right. Later I'll explain how to make this "integrity to feelings" work to your benefit.

 

3. Most women are much more rational than most men at the initial meeting. For all of men's complaints about "screwed-up 'chick logic'," it is men who unconsciously fall into a very irrational pattern of behavior when they first meet a new woman that interests them.

 

Upon meeting an attractive and perhaps interesting woman for the first time, most men behave as if they are thinking about...wait for it...marriage! Hollywood has bombarded us with "love at first sight" stories, but what kind of message does it really send to a woman you've just met that you've already decided she's the one? It screams pathetic loser who couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons. "One-itis" is the absolute death knell to any person's chance with someone new. Women know this. Men, as a rule, don't.

 

There's an old saying that "To meet her handsome prince, a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs." Given that few American women age well or are financially self-sufficient, this adage is much more appropriate for men aspiring to marriage than it is for women.

 

4. What women say they want and what they actually do want are two different things. Men need to be keenly aware of this and act accordingly. The crap that women claim they want in the personals ads is exactly the kind of thing that would have the same women running for the nearest exit out of boredom if the men actually provided it.

 

Women want to feel attraction for someone, and attraction doesn't come from finding a man who is sensitive, or caring, or likes long walks on the beach, cats, and candlelight dinners, has a college education or a good job. Attraction isn't a choice. Attraction comes from that little shiver of anticipation of not knowing what's coming next, of not being able to pigeonhole the man she's with into any one category, of being just a little bit off-balance and not in total control.

 

5. Women read things into men's actions that aren't there. Accept that, and make it work for you, if possible. This phenomenon probably comes from women's heightened emotional sensitivity. It may also come from the need many women have for drama (and for some women, chaos) in their lives.

 

What the above things mean for you, and

how to stop screwing up like you've been doing:

 

Dealing with a woman's heightened sensitivity: When a woman complains about a problem in her life (she will see it as "sharing," not complaining), never offer a solution to the problem. She doesn't want to fix it, she wants to relive it, over and over. Show sympathy but suggest that only another woman could truly understand what she's going through. This acknowledges women's superior emotional capacity. Depending on how you say it, it may send another unspoken message if the complaining was a test (and it probably was): You're trying my patience here. I don't fall for that BS. Watch it.

 

Integrity to feelings: If you can keep a woman in the state of feeling excited, anxious, off-balance, and emotional when she's around you, you can pretty much lead her wherever you want. An extreme example of this is the group of attractive young women who did anything they were told by a homely little runt of a man named Charles Manson. I'm not advising that you turn into a sociopath, but it's kind of fun getting the girl you met this afternoon to slip off her thong during dinner and hand it to you. Learning how to keep a woman's emotional state at the desired level takes a lot of practice and experimenting (which is fun) and can't be described in a one-page column, but here's a start: Women are attracted to Mystery, Uncertainty (not the same thing), Confidence and Arrogance when combined with humor, and believe it or not, Indifference. Observe the desirable women you know that are obsessed with their boyfriends and you will see that the boyfriends invariably exhibit these qualities, irrespective of whether they are decent guys or total jerks.

 

Gifts: Gifts can be good at eliciting emotions and even smoothing the rough spots, but don't make the mistake of giving the wrong kind. You'll go broke and not accomplish what you intended. Since women's emotions are so powerful, realize that all gifts to women have a soothing effect and "goodwill time frame" that is proportional to the emotion evoked. This has nothing to do with the value or utility of the gift, believe me. Whether you're in the early stages of a relationship or have been married ten years, never give expensive gifts, agree to extensive home remodeling that you don't particularly want, expensive trips, etc. in the hope that it will improve her feelings for you. If you do, you'll be paying for the expenditure long after your girlfriend or wife has stopped smiling at you for what you did. Instead, give little nothing gifts like a funny card, or a stuffed animal holding flowers, and say "I was thinking of you today." Do this at unexpected times. A week later (or maybe even the next day), the $12 stuffed Dalmatian with the heart-shaped spots will be forgotten, and your woman's attitude will probably (and understandably) be "What have you done for me lately?" But guess what? The same thing will happen a week after you agree to pay for her eight-year-old's private school tuition, which is a $120,000 tab over ten years. You do the math. The exception to this rule is if you decide to give an expensive, useful gift to a woman who needs it and who has been exceptionally good to you already. Few men do this. Men usually give presents, take women to expensive restaurants, etc. in the hope that the recipient will be grateful. THIS DOES NOT WORK. Expensive gifts should always be unexpected rewards. They should never be attempted inducements.

 

Testing: Reread my 7/7 column's comments on tests. Remember that testing will continue until one of you dies. Even if you break up, she will probably test you if an opportunity presents itself. Plan for this accordingly.

 

Flaking: The younger and hotter the girl, the greater the chance she will flake. Hotties and flaking are like alcoholics and drinking: If they can, they probably will. The only way to completely prevent an alcoholic from drinking or a hottie from flaking it is to create an environment where it cannot occur, like sending the alcoholic to live in the Saudi desert. To prevent flaking, only offer an activity if it is something you can do right now. Get her to do something fun and exciting with you right at that moment. If she demurs, end the conversation as quickly as possible and eject--don't coerce. When she stops you from leaving and says to call her so you can make plans, don't believe her, and call her on it. Tell her you like talking to live people, not voicemail. Tell her that maybe you'll offer something else if you run into her again. Unspoken message: Seize the day.

 

What if you absolutely have to plan a "date" in advance with someone you suspect may flake on you? When you make the plans, give the girl something specific to do, like to be sure she's wearing a silk scarf around her waist when you pick her up. Don't tell her why, but make sure she realizes that she has to do it, or you'll turn around and leave if she opens the door and isn't wearing the scarf. She will spend all her time before the date wondering about this, selecting the perfect scarf, etc. She'll be caught up in the mystery, drama, and anticipation (women love these things) and she won't be thinking that "going on this date doesn't feel right anymore."

 

Initial meetings: Follow the three second rule. You've got three seconds from the time you first notice a desirable woman to the time you say something to her. If you take longer than that, cross her off the list and move on, because she's crossed you off her list of possibles. Never work up your courage to talk to a girl that you've been looking at across the room for ten minutes. Women hate this. And for God's sake, never use some service to track down the girl you lusted after in high school or college. This is called stalking, and unless you graduated within the past 6 months, chances are she now looks nothing like the goddess you worshipped from afar. There are better women who don't have any bad preconceptions about you as close as the nearest Starbucks, Borders, Safeway, or QuikTrip. Unless you live in a remote area, pretty girls are everywhere. Always operate from a theory of abundance. There are more available women in your area than you could ever meet, but they're not going to come looking for you. Get out and chat up as many of them as possible. Most will turn out to be frogs. Expect it. (And realize your high school dream girl that you were thinking about tracking down is probably a frog.) You won't find a princess by convincing yourself that the one girl you've met in the last month is one. Meeting and dating lots of women gives you a much more accurate perspective and has the added benefit of making you more attractive to women, not less.

 

Dating multiple women: If you don't want a woman to think of herself as your one and only girlfriend, don't do things that would make her think that way. Don't call her every day. Don't see her three or four times a week. Be up front, and say "I think too many people get into exclusive relationships far too quickly, and it's not healthy. I wouldn't even consider having an exclusive relationship with someone I'd known less than six months." Most people, and women are no exception, will accept most anything if it is not a surprise. Don't lie and sneak around. If you see other women and she has a problem with this when she's only recently met you, she is NOT the one. Next.

 

Enjoy women for what they are, and don't imagine them to be something they aren't. It may sound harsh or negative, but real women are seldom like what we see in movies written by male screenwriters or read about in novels written by male authors. The cute waitress where you eat lunch may visually remind you of Meg Ryan (or whoever) in the movie where she played a waitress, but don't for one second imagine the real-life waitress to be as intelligent or interesting as the writers who gave Meg her lines. Flirt with the waitress and let her presence make your lunch more pleasant, but don't start going there every day and turn her into some fantasy of yours ("One-itis"). At best, you'll waste a bunch of better opportunities mooning around her at lunchtime, while she smiles at you but otherwise blows you off. At worst, she'll eventually accept your advances, and (since you were fixated on only her and had no other women to compare her to) you'll end up married before you figure out that aside from being nice to look at (for now), there isn't much else you really enjoy about her.

 

Don't be ordinary. Talk about your job, school, hobbies, etc? Forget it! If she launches into the same old questions, accuse her of husband-hunting, and tell her you're not ready for that. Be teasing and mysterious. Never give a straight answer unless it's "No." Women will complain that they "can never figure you out and it's driving them crazy." This is evidence that you are doing the right things.

 

Spank her. Spank her bottom lightly when she does something you don't like. Spank her harder when she does something good. I discovered this years ago and the worst results I've ever gotten were neutral. The best were volcanic. (I don't do this unless I know at least her first name, but that's just me--it's probably not necessary.)

 

When in doubt, tease. Keep the "Bratty Sister Frame" firmly in your mind (see 7/7 column). Call her on her girl-like behavior. If she mentions modeling, say, "Oh, you mean like a hand model?" Tell her that her long fingers remind you of E.T. If she's cute but her clothes are odd-looking to your eye, ask her if she got dressed in the dark. You get the idea.

 

Sex in long term relationships: If a good long-term sex life with one woman is important to you, never get into a committed relationship (such as marriage) with a slender woman unless she is genetically slender. 200-lb. women who have always been heavy are usually comfortable with themselves and have good sex drives. Former 125-lb. hotties that gain 75 pounds after saying "I do" often lose all interest in sex and are a very bad bet for the long haul. I know dozens of men who found this out the hard way. Conversely, no man I know with a fat partner who has always been fat (I actually prefer the word "plush") is dissatisfied with his wife or girlfriend's level of desire. The old admonition about taking a long look at the mother before proposing is sound advice.

 

If you want to marry a rich girl: Rich women are no different than other women in that they are turned on by a man's passion for his work. Keep in mind that not just any kind of work qualifies. Women are attracted to artists, especially musicians. Rock stars don't get just high school groupies, they get rich actresses like Pamela Anderson and rich supermodels like Rachel Hunter and Paulina Porizkova. Singers in local bands do equally well on a smaller level. Women (including rich ones) go for other passionate artists such as actors, dancers, painters, and sculptors.* If you are a passionate artist, you're a good bet to snag a rich girl, who will likely be happy to support you and your passion. If you go this route, keep the rich girl interested by pursuing your passion WITHOUT going through all her money! Live comfortably but don't start to believe your own bulls***, getting her to fund your big (and inevitably money-losing) dreams of grandeur. NEVER let her dip into principal. If you do, be prepared to be thrown out on your ear. Any successful investment professional can tell you horror stories about rich women clients with artist husbands who cooked the goose that laid the golden eggs.

 

Maybe this will hold you clueless guys for a while. More later.

 

John Ross 11/5/03

[thekhris]

would like to tribute this to the creator of this tread whom i owe my life..and save my relationship and to all the guys who is in the same situation of mine... 1 week ago..

 

 

WHAT TO DO

 

1.Be polite

2.BE indifferent

3.Show to her that you can live without her and your having fun and you have a life and surviving without her.

4.Ignore her

5.Your time now is for other people and things not for her

6.Dont be rude or do somthing signifies that your in pain like anger or hate.

7.Flirt with other girl BUT THIS IS OPTIONAL...if your gonna do this make it sure that it will not seem that your just making her jelous..remeber the point here is to make her realise that you can still continue to live withouot her and have fun and you dont give a fck if she dumps you..

8.Dont try to be friends

9.Don’t be taken for granted

10.Don’t try to seduce them

11.Just cut them off and get on with your life

12.make their decisions final

13.Be patient and wait for her next move but for the meanwhile keep doing all the above statements.

 

When she contact

 

1.be polite

2.be indifferent

3.show to her that your time is not for her

4.cut her calls short

5.Be patient and wait for her next move.

6. Say to her or show to her through your actions that "NO HARD FEELINGS"

 

when she cry or says she misses you or do somthing that sugest she cant afford to loose you or trying to be friends

 

1.Continue to back off

2.be a challenge

3.Accept her only of your truely conviinced that she will do anything just to give her another chance.

4.be polite still

5.Be patient and wait for her next move

 

whe you take her back

1.donr EVER BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED

2.PUT THE BLAME ON HER

3.Do so on your own terms

 

do this there is no other way...TRUST ME IVE BEEN THERE..

[donpepot]

would like to tribute this to the creator of this tread whom i owe my life..and save my relationship and to all the guys who is in the same situation of mine... 1 week ago..

 

dude no prob..im glad i help..

good luck to your new resurected love life...my last advice to is probably....

 

 

Continue letting her know you cannot be taken for granted..

 

god bless

[Diver012]

Or you can simply tell your EX they blew it and to go take a hike

[donpepot]

 

2. Men and women have very different definitions of integrity. Men have integrity to their word, but because of the heightened sensitivity as explained above, women have integrity to their feelings.

Agreed!

 

Women base their actions on how they feel at the time. This means that if something no longer "feels" right, they won't do it, period. It infuriates most men when a woman "flakes" on them. ("Flaking" is the term that men who study this sort of thing use to describe when a woman who has eagerly made plans with them doesn't show up, or calls at the last minute to cancel because her girlfriend needs consoling etc. Roughly speaking, a woman's tendency to flake is proportional to her options and inversely proportional to her age, although I did meet one 38-year-old single mother of two with this habit.) Understand that the need to be true to one's feelings is an extremely powerful force with women. Look at the dominant theme in all romance novels: The woman is "swept away" by emotions too powerful to be denied, and has an affair when everyone knows she shouldn't. Another example is the adage "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Even the former First Lady (according to the Secret Service) regularly threw things (lamps, etc.) at her husband when angry. Can you imagine a man doing this, instead of saying "Next"? The idea is ludicrous.

excatly

 

Women want to feel attraction for someone, and attraction doesn't come from finding a man who is sensitive, or caring, or likes long walks on the beach, cats, and candlelight dinners, has a college education or a good job. Attraction isn't a choice. Attraction comes from that little shiver of anticipation of not knowing what's coming next, of not being able to pigeonhole the man she's with into any one category, of being just a little bit off-balance and not in total control.

 

5. Women read things into men's actions that aren't there. Accept that, and make it work for you, if possible. This phenomenon probably comes from women's heightened emotional sensitivity. It may also come from the need many women have for drama (and for some women, chaos) in their lives.

this is gonna be surely helpfull

[thekhris]

This is something that has happened very recently and I decided I'd write about the actual mental process behind it while it's fresh.

 

Basically, I was seeing a girl behind my girlfriend's back I was really into her, things were heating up and we were developing feelings for each other.

We were kind of put on the spot by our friends, but by Friday evening it looked like I was in a new relationship that I've wanted badly for nearly a month

] However, that very night I found my interest in this girl drop completely. With my girlfriend off the scene it was too easy to take for granted now. I started thinking about other options I'd like to pursue and how maybe I didn't feel for this girl as much as I thought. Basically, all negative thoughts.

 

Anyway, it turned out that she had been thinking the same as me and had lost interest. She got in there first and broke things off with me.

 

I was relieved at first and happy to move on (I even went on a date on Monday and got on great) . Yet 4 days have passed and I'm starting to want her back! So basically, making herself unavailable to me has increased my interest considerably! I want her back quite badly if I'm honest and miss her company