youneverknow Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Okay, so this is the scoop. I am 20 years old and have been with my boyfriend for a year now. We went out when i was sixteen for about 6 months but he cheated on me and we split. We got back together last April because we both grew up a lot and i had a new found trust in him. Of course him cheating has always been in the back of my mind and i think i will always struggle with it. We do have a good relationship and he seems to really care about me, and lately he has been telling me that a lot. So to get to the point, last night i snooped through some of his chat logs on MSN. I found a bunch of chats with girls he knows from our town (this didn't bother me, i too, have male friends who i chat with). thing is i found a lot of flirting in those message and jokes about sex (i got the feeling they were only jokes from the way they were talking, but hey u neverknow). I also saw that he was sorta making plans w/ one of the girls to hang out w/ him and his buddies. (at least it wasnt for a romantic dinner lol) This really bothered me so i text msg'd him after i read them asking about this girl. I didnt get into great detail because i didn't really want to say that i had been snooping. So he told me that girl was his buddies on/off gf for a year and that she had gone out w/ them to a bar before and he was just offering her a ride. Anyway i just cut the convo cos i had to get to bed, but i woke up this morning feeling upset, confused and unsure about how i should handle this. Should i take this seriously or is it just friends chatting and flirting? Should i just suck it up and tell him i snooped through his chat to get answers? or will that cause more problem. I need to get to the bottom of this, it is killing me, i'm at work right now and it's all i can think about. anyone have any advice? been in a similar situation? responses would be greatly appreciated !\ thanks alot guys... Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 "We both grew up alot and I had a new found trust in him." "Last night I snooped through some of his chat logs" It sounds as if you DO NOT have a new found trust in him. If so not sure why you would snoop. Have you been getting a feeling something wasn't right? Or is this something that you still carry around from the last time he cheated? If you have online guys you talk to and he has online girls he talks too, then theres probably not much you can really say. HOWEVER, if you notice him hanging out with this other girl alot or taking up more time with her then you, then you might have a problem. Right now you could give him the benefit of the doubt. But since he cheated before I think its understandable why you feel the way you do. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author youneverknow Posted June 9, 2006 Author Share Posted June 9, 2006 Thankyou for the reply so soon. im not worried about him chattin w/ other female friends its the flirting and the jokes about sex that get to me, make me feel like its more than just a friendly conversation. and yes the reason is because he cheated on me before... that is deinitely what is making me doubt him... Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Thankyou for the reply so soon. im not worried about him chattin w/ other female friends its the flirting and the jokes about sex that get to me, make me feel like its more than just a friendly conversation. and yes the reason is because he cheated on me before... that is deinitely what is making me doubt him... When you all decided to get back together, did you becasue you wanted to give him a second chance and thought maybe you could trust him again? I'm not saying once a cheater always a cheater, I do think ppl can change but they have to want too. If you are concerned about this chats that seem to be flirting and jokes of a sexual nature then maybe you need to trust you gut instinct on this. JMO. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
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