Does she want to end it??

[Rick]

Just recently I've told my g/f that I wasn't happy with our sex life. This was something that I kept inside till just recently. This is what she said in an email today. "Everything seems to hurt me these days and what you said really made me think. I am just not happy with anything right now and that has nothing to do with you. I don;t want to hurt you but sometimes I feel that I do because I am not real affectionate towards you. Please understand that it is difficult for me right now to be so caring towards anyone. I didn't want to say this via e-mail but it is much easier for me to do so. I will talk to you later okay." What does this sound to anyone?? Any advice will be greatly appreciate it. I have a funny feeling she wants to break everything up. And yea I do hurt by what she said. But it was something I felt I had to tell her.

 

thanks

[darcy38]

There is no doubt you have a problem here. she is pulling away, for what reason i don't know. Next time you speak to her be direct and ask if and what is happening in your relationship. Maybe a time apart will resolve this situation. If you don't get any answers you can only assume, and that is very confusing. Good luck

[Ed]

Her email says:

 

"Everything seems to hurt me these days"

 

"I am just not happy with anything right now"

 

"Please understand that it is difficult for me right now"

 

She is certainly having some kind of problem here. Do you know what it is? I don't, and if she won't tell you, you won't either. It's anybody's guess.

 

The best you can hope for is that she will open up to you and tell you what is going on. When you get to talk to her later, ask her to make it as clear to you as she can. Then repeat back to her what you heard her say and make sure you understand her correctly. Don't put words into her mouth or try to interpret vague explanations. If you are uncertain about something she tries to tell you, ask her to say it again until you understand.

 

Good luck!

[Peaches]

You tell your girlfriend that you aren't happy with your sex life, and you expect her to be happy? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. If a guy said that to me I would be thinking just like she is.

 

I hope everything works out for you.

 

Peaches

Just recently I've told my g/f that I wasn't happy with our sex life. This was something that I kept inside till just recently. This is what she said in an email today. "Everything seems to hurt me these days and what you said really made me think. I am just not happy with anything right now and that has nothing to do with you. I don;t want to hurt you but sometimes I feel that I do because I am not real affectionate towards you. Please understand that it is difficult for me right now to be so caring towards anyone. I didn't want to say this via e-mail but it is much easier for me to do so. I will talk to you later okay." What does this sound to anyone?? Any advice will be greatly appreciate it. I have a funny feeling she wants to break everything up. And yea I do hurt by what she said. But it was something I felt I had to tell her. thanks

[Me2]

Usually when a girl and guy aren't "in-tune" or the guy feels somewhat neglected in bed or that the female is missing passions, is because she's lost feelings for you. I know this is blunt, but I have always found it to be true. You mentioning it to her is not what's making her not want to be with you. You've just made her see that she can't be in this relationship anymore. It was going to happen anyway, but she's sees that it's also making you unhappy staying in this relationship. I may be way off base, but this has been mine and all of my female friends experiences with relationships that their hearts just aren't into. It's not that it's the guys fault, it's just that it's not working. You can't fake passion. If it's not there, it's just not there. That's why she's not affectionate towards you. You probably tells you or has told you, "I'm just not a very affectionate person". I've used that excuse. I dated a guy for 6 yrs and towards the end, gave him that excuse. I would say, "I know you like affection - the hugging & kissing and stuff, but that's just not me." He would say, "you used to be", and I would say, "I don't remember or well it's not me now." In the bedroom, the sex would be really bad. I just wasn't putting anything into it and just wanted it to hurry up and be over with.

 

I'm not trying to upset you by telling you this, but I'm just sharing my personal experience and trying to be honest with you. I hope I'm wrong, but I just kind of see the signs this girl is giving to you doesn't sound very positive. You'll probably get the friends speech. She'll tell you she wants to take a break and maybe in the future there could be something, but she just doesn't have it in her to give to you right now and that you're a great guy. She'll even probably say she has a lot going on in her mind/life and just isn't ready for something serious. This translates to "I'm not interested in this relationship, but I'm trying to let you know it's not you. Good luck and I hope you find someone real soon who's better suited for you, so that this break-up won't be too painful."

 

If she does end it with you, let her go. You never know, people have been known to change their minds later on down the road.