Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Sorry for the pun;) My wife and I are in our 40's and have been married for almost five years, together for eight. For the first few years that we were together, we had an enjoyable sex life. But a couple of years ago, she went through an early menopause and completely lost her sex drive. My sex drive, however, is the same as it always was. We have sex now about once every 4 to 6 weeks, whereas it used to be every couple of days. It has been several years since she has initiated sex, and she just has no interest. She feels bad for me, and basically will "let" me have sex if I ask her, but she does not enjoy it and she does not participate...basically, she will lie there until I'm done. This is not fun for either of us, which is why we have such infrequent sex. Has anyone else had this problem? If so, what do you do? Recommendations? I can't stand the thought of not having enjoyable sex for the rest of my life! Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 I have heard that sometimes women going through menopause can develop a lower sex drive due to hormone changes. I'm assuming she has went to the doctor. Have they got her on anything right now? She might need to talk with her doctor again and tell them whats going on, they might can make some suggestions. She might be some what depressed over the matter as well. I would suggest some counseling too, to see if menopause is the only thing going on with her. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Okay, so I don't know if this is correct but does a woman get more dried out down there when she gets menopause? Please don't laugh at my question, because I know my mom used KY Jelly for quite a while now. Can this possibly be the reason? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Okay, so I don't know if this is correct but does a woman get more dried out down there when she gets menopause? Please don't laugh at my question, because I know my mom used KY Jelly for quite a while now. Can this possibly be the reason? I do think women can get a little more dried out, due to estrogen levels changing etc. The doc will usually recoomend using something like KY to help with lubrication. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Thanks Jade. Now I don't feel like a complete Ding-Dong. Maybe this could be what happened to your wife too. If it's too dry down there, sex can be painful. And maybe she's having a tough time dealing with the change, although I'm gonna be happy as hell when I get that...I hate my periods. Especially in summer. Anyway, maybe she needs to talk to her doctor about the adjustment she went through. Maybe she isn't handling it well. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 I have heard that sometimes women going through menopause can develop a lower sex drive due to hormone changes. I'm assuming she has went to the doctor. Have they got her on anything right now? She might need to talk with her doctor again and tell them whats going on, they might can make some suggestions. She might be some what depressed over the matter as well. I would suggest some counseling too, to see if menopause is the only thing going on with her. Jade She was on hormone replacement therapy for a couple of years, but no longer is. And as far as "drying out, " yes, that is something that we have had to deal with as well. We do use KY (have to) or it will hurt her. Her issue with not having sex is not pain, though, it is that she no longer has any desire to do so. Also, she does not want me to masturbate because she feels that is cheating on her. That is something I never heard before. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Absolutely get her to a doctor - and if her own doctor doesn't have a solution, seek out someone expert in treating women with sex problems. There are treatments that help women restart their libidos after menopause. I'm telling you, if I go through menopause and get my libido wiped out, I'll be pounding down the doors of every physician and medical institution I can find until I get it back!!! Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 She was on hormone replacement therapy for a couple of years, but no longer is. And as far as "drying out, " yes, that is something that we have had to deal with as well. We do use KY (have to) or it will hurt her. Her issue with not having sex is not pain, though, it is that she no longer has any desire to do so. Also, she does not want me to masturbate because she feels that is cheating on her. That is something I never heard before. If she feels you masterbating is cheating on her, then perhaps her isues goes deeper than you think. Unless maybe she is from another culture where they see it like that. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 "Also, she does not want me to masturbate because she feels that is cheating on her. " HUH???? Link to post Share on other sites
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