Irene Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Right now I am depressed and let down on my husbands actions toward me..we started out in morning doing yard work and toward noon or so he was waiting on a friend to come by and since I had yet to go to work (am a school crosing guard) I had to get myself rested and being hot here in Houston and outside with bad uv's and such I came in and it wa close to my gettin myself ready for work I told husband "honey, I am going to get ready for work"..well, he started in on me that he was hungry and that I hould cook hiss breakfast and I answered that he could cook his own meal and that I had to go to work..He got very pissed at me and started being verbally abusive and shouting for no stupid reason( i am not hard of hearing)..anyways, after I got home he continued on how he does alot for my family and when I need him how he come's through for me..(I am there too) I told him we are a partnership and he just raveled on how I didn't help on anything and that all I do is stand there (bludant lie!) ..talks and goes on how I am taking up his breathing space so I can go outa the bedroom (we watch tv there)..says my job is a piece of crap and such mean things that go on and on..My husband has always been verbally abusive and also is an alcoholic..he's rude and very vulgar in his words toward me..never apologizes about anything he might of said to me and life goes on..he never compliments me on anything nor gives me any credit on anything I do..(always compliments others)..feelings like that make me feel hatred towrd him..I can't even say I love him caue he doesn't ay it to me really..only when he leaves to go to work in a.m does he just barely say I love u..I feel upset and dissapointed..but I don't have any intentions of leaving and I know I am not the only one going thruough this..I'm just glad to find this forum to vent..thank you..I am new on here, I'll be back in awhile.. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 What do you mean you'll never leave him?? And if that's your choice, no offense, suck it up and deal with all the crap he throws your way. But to be helpful I will offer you this advice...look in your phone book and find out where to go to an Alanon meeting. It's for loved ones of alcoholics. You can share your stories with them and learn what resources are available to you if you ever do decide to leave him. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 I think you have 2 choices in the matter. If you have made up your mind you're not going to leave him, then you accept that things are the way they are, and chances are they wont change. Personally doesn't sound like a good way to live. Or two, you can try to get into some marriage counseling. if he wont go, which I doubt he will, then you go for yourself. Maybe someone can help you with what it is you need to do or how is the best way to handle things. Also call AA and see about attending those meetings for someone who has a loved one that is an alcoholic. Things will not get better on there own. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Irene, no one should ever be treated the way your husband is mistreating you. I cannot imagine speaking to my wife that way. I'm very sorry. Obviously, you do not want to leave the man, but I would certainly never stay with someone who was abusive. amaysngrace is right about Alanon. And that crap about you cooking him breakfast instead of getting ready for work...what century is he living in? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Why wouldn't you even consider leaving him? Why do you feel you will stay? Link to post Share on other sites
RarePearl Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Irene, do you have children? If not, staying with a man who makes you only unhappy makes no sense to me. You love HIM, but not his personality. So what exactly do you love? Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? Do you love yourself when you're with him? Does he make you feel good? Does he pamper you? Does he satisfy your emotional, sexual, and intellectual needs? I also doubt that he is a great provider given that he is an alcoholic... Do you think you deserve this treatment? How does he help your family? perhaps if he would go through rehabilitation, he'd change. Many people have. Alcoholism is usually the cause of many troubles and character flaws in a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts