ElephantGirl Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 I've been dating this guy since about the end of March. We get along famously when we get along, we do tend to argue about a lot of stupid things ( i think mainly bcus we were both raised around parents who argued all the time) , But for the most part our relationship is great, Things were just starting to get really good between us and it was beginning to become understood that our relationship could get serious and we could potentially be together for a long time. I told him from the beginning about me being bipolar because I didn't want him to be put off by my moodswings later on. He said he understood and that he could handle my mood swings because he has some of his own. So just giving you some background.... About 2 weeks ago we had an intense conversation about how sometimes i doubt his ability to handle my situations, he ensured me that although he reacted incorrectly to my problems before, that he was ready and willing to change that and that I should give him a second chance. I was recently raped when I attended a party, he called me after it happened and wanted to know why I was down. so I told him what happened and understandly his immediate reaction was aner towards me and confusion. We started to argue about it and he began to shut down and I just got so hurt that I told him to forget about it and not to bother anymore. so we didn't talk for three days and I called him just last night and he said Oh I thought we were over. so we argued a little more he told me he has a lot of thoughts going through his head. He was thinking he's may not be able to handle me, that the decisions were whether or not we should go our seperate ways or if we should take time apart until I heal and then I can go back to him. That things are up in the air and he really doesn't know what direction they are going. So what I got from it was that either way i'm not going to have him for a while. I don't want him to leave me I care so much about him and I feel like we could be together for a long time. I'm hurt by his reaction towrds me but i feel like we need to work it out together not apart. I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Dear Elephant Girl, He sounds insensitive and unempathetic. Why in the world would you want to TRY to be with someone like that?? This guy is basically removing himself from working through this with you, which if he truly cared, he would love and support you in your time of need. What a creep! I would lose his number in a hurry, if I were you. I'm sorry for what you've been through. Keep your chin up and stay positive. I hope things get better for you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 If you were raped, did you go to the cops afterward? Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 First of all, I want to say I'm so sorry that happened to you!! It is a horrible thing to do to someone!! I really hope your getting some counseling and support!! Throughout your entire post I kept reading "he" and "him". Ok, first of it all, it is NOT about him right now, its about you! Why are you so worried about what he thinks and what he wants when your the one that has just recently been victemized?!!! You sound like a very passive person, and its not in your favor right now. Stand up, grow a backbone, and kick this guy to the curve!! What an insensitive prick!!!! Why did you say he was "understandibly" angry towards you? What is understable about being angry at you for something you could not control?? Did you instigate the rape? If not, then I really don't see how it is you fault and something you could have controlled!! Please for the love of all that is holy drop this guy ASAP!! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 It's not your fault you were raped so this guy's reaction to you is bogus. IF he was a guy worth keeping, he'd feel concern for you and want to help you and encourage you. He'd be encouraging you to report the rapist to the cops and support you. Instead he's all about himself. He's a bigtime looser and whatever good qualities he has will never be outweighed by his selfishness. Be glad you have found out what sort of man he is before you got further involved. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Tim'sAngel just said what I was planning to say. Forget him, please call a sexual assault crisis center. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Tim'sAngel just said what I was planning to say. Forget him, please call a sexual assault crisis center. All great minds think alike Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 If you were raped, did you go to the cops afterward? Most important question. Please tell me that you didnt let this go. Please seek help for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Regarding the attitude of your boyfriend about this matter.... He is obviously immature and insensitive. I'm sure by now you realize that no matter what you think of him he would not be a person who would make an acceptable lifetime partner for a rational person. You tell him you were viciously attacked...and he gets ANGRY AT YOU??? The turd is insane!!! Perhaps you feel that because you have some biochemical issues (bipolar, moodswings) you may not find someone else who would understand. Honestly, there are many men who are willing to understand and work with you through this problem. However, you are far better by yourself than with a jerk like the one you HAD! What you went through requires support and understanding...things this guy is incapable of dispensing. So sorry. I concur with others above that you should seek counselling or some type of reliable support system to help you through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I am so sorry this has happened to you. To be raped is horrible and needs to be taken seriously and dealt with instead of just trying to forget it and go on, which it sounds like you might be doing. But then to tell the guy you care about who supposedly cares for you and have him respond with anger and abandonment is lethal. I "amen" all of the above. You deserve better than what this guy can give you for whatever reason right now. Forget him and work on your own healing. Prayers for your shalom! Link to post Share on other sites
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