Catching and keeping women

[gfto]

I think that the biggest factor in 'getting the girl' has more to do with the chemical attraction. We can't explain it. But I know that the types of men that I'm attracted to are not necessarily viewed as 'hot' by all my girlfriends. (Thank god for that, too! )

 

That isn't what I was asking. Think back to the guy with whom you stayed the longest. Tell us two or three things about him, such as his personality. What did you like most about him? Why did you stay with him?

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

That isn't what I was asking. Think back to the guy with whom you stayed the longest. Tell us two or three things about him, such as his personality. What did you like most about him? Why did you stay with him?

 

Ok, I'll admit that the guy I'm attracted to employs the tactics outlined by AMERIKAJIN. Sure he got away with my heart. But the thing is, he's charming, intelligent, and incredibly handsome. So he can basically pull any stunt with me and still get away with my heart.

 

But he wouldn't keep me by employing a stand-offish attitude!

[gfto]

But he wouldn't keep me by employing a stand-offish attitude!

 

What exactly do you mean by "stand-offish attitude"? Tell us more! :-)

 

And, you're still talking about the future. Any ladies who stayed with a guy for a year or two and were just crazy about him? What was it about him??

[crazy_grl]

That isn't what I was asking. Think back to the guy with whom you stayed the longest. Tell us two or three things about him, such as his personality. What did you like most about him? Why did you stay with him?

 

The guy I stayed with the longest treated me like I was important to him and he did nice things for me. We were together for over a year. I think the reason I stayed with him was because he was a tortured soul and I had a bleeding heart syndrome at the time. The reasons our relationship didn't work was because we didn't communicate well and we each didn't have enough of a life outside the relationship.

 

The guy I was most enamored with was incredibly funny and acted like the type of person I wanted to be. He wasn't afraid to do something silly or outlandish. He called me almost every day and we usually talked for hours. He had an amazing personality and was incredibly creative and talented. Of the "how to get her" rules, the only one he followed was #2 "be real" and possibly #4 "know the signs of attraction". He didn't do #1, because he started talking about masterbation right off, but it was adorable how completely innocently he was talking about it and not actually trying to be sexual. He certainly didn't let me do all the talking, and I think he messed up the "be masculine" thing a bit too.

 

Ya know, as I think about it, the reason I liked those guys had everything to do with who they were and the only thing those tactics would have done would have been to make me like them less.

 

I don't know, maybe those tactics will get your *more* women, because that's possibly the type of man most women are looking for, but it won't necessarily get you the *right* woman.

[loony]

The things I'm talking about here are things that guys do when they're only somewhat attracted to their partner; they are themselves in the presence of someone they consider their equal. But put an attractive female down in front of them and they can't control themselves. They become insecure little wuss boys.

How about showing them how to get real self-esteem instead of telling them how to fake it?

 

So this is a guide for the men out there for when they finally meet that one girl who turns them on and reciprocates interest.

That's it? As long as she is attractive and reciprocates? *Ouch*

 

And I'm sorry, but guys are attracted to looks - that's just the nature of the beast.

But as the sole criterion?!

 

'If guys would not focus so much on looks' is like saying 'If women wouldn't focus so much on personality and money'.

I'm a horny superficial guy and I'm proud of it. Take that you intelligent woman.

 

It's only natural for a guy to find a woman he's really attracted to. Of course personalities have to mix, but a guy also has to know how to handle himself. Many guys don't. They forget who they are because they focus on what others want instead of themselves. And moreover, it's almost universal that hot women know they are hot, and they all get so used to having their way that they act in ways that more ordinary women don't. They need guidance. This guide is about showing men how to give them that guidance.

I've noticed that some men tend to fall very easily into this self-complacency trap once they think they are on top of the hill. I will stand to my word, the only girls they will attract with these rules are wacko hot women and it seems these guys do not even mind as long as she is hot. At least it's refreshening to see a guy stand up for his beliefs and to admit openly that he doesn't really give a crap about personality and that looks are numero uno on his list. Even if she acts like a spoiled bitch because she is so hot, that's ok, Daddy will guide her and overlook her flawed personality, because after all she's still worth it. I start to believe that a lot of these women do act disrespectfully, because, truth is, they do not feel respect. How could they? If they were really more into personality than guys, they would have to believe they are surrounded by drooling dolts.

[Outcast]

And I'm sorry, but guys are attracted to looks - that's just the nature of the beast.

But as the sole criterion?!

 

Apparently

[EnigmaXOXO]

Question for the ladies who disagree with Amer's rules:

 

Tell us a little about the best relationship you've ever had, whether it's from the past, or you're still in it. Tell us about him. What made you stay with him? Describe him. Or, if it's a past relationship and you ended it, what caused you to get rid of him?

 

I don't disagree with Amer's rules entirely. I think they may work rather well if your dating pull is within the twenty-something age group. I wasn't single and able to date until my mid thirties. By that time, I was completely out of touch with the 'dating rules' so I never played by them. Basically, as Looney mentioned, I had my own set of standards concerning what I liked and didn't like. While I was open to spending time with new people, I wasn't looking to get involved seriously so I didn't invest a lot of time or effort on someone who I was only mildly interested in.

 

Maybe that was key (???)

 

Two of the guys I dated (briefly) were in their late twenties. They must have read the BOOK! I have to admit, while they were very attractive and fun to spend time with, they didn't keep my interest for very long and quickly slid into that 'friend zone.' I won't go as far as to say I found them immature … but let's just say I discovered rather quickly that we were at very different places in our lives.

 

What has kept me with my current partner for the last six years is that he is the exact opposite of most of the guys I've met. He's confident enough in who he is that he put it ALL out there … (what you see is what you get.) No pretending, no bait, hook and switch games. When he said he was going to call; he'd call. When he said he'd be there at a certain time, he was. He's capable of listening while holding a real conversation at the same time. He's not evasive with his answers or reluctant to express his point of view. He's openly affectionate and emotionally 'in touch' with his feelings and those around him. He has a sense of humor about himself that immediately puts everyone around him at ease. People who meet him can't help but like him. And most importantly, he has an amazing way of making the women in his life feel as if they are the most important person in the world without ever losing site of who he is. He's predictable, dependable and solid as a rock. No guessing games, no wondering what he's going to do next, no pushing you to the edge just to keep things 'interesting'.

 

The reason I partly agree with Amer's perspective is because, in the past, younger women looking for drama, emotional rollercoasters and less predictability had lost interest in him and broke his heart … I suppose because he was too easy. (???) There were more than twenty females before me, and I'm GLAD they were all too stupid and inexperienced to realize what a real prize they had.

 

… or maybe older women are just more grateful.

[catgirl1927]

… or maybe older women are just more grateful.

 

I don't know about grateful, that really makes older women sound like pathetic old losers just lucky that a man will talk to them.

 

Older women are not about nonsense and games. Older women know what they want and have a more realistic view of people, they know that while it's great to have a knight in shining armour you have to realize there's a man inside the armour who is doing the best he can the way everyone is.

[amerikajin]

By all means, a man should be warm, loving, honest, affectionate and be able to hold a conversation - I wasn't saying otherwise.

 

Maybe the title of my thread doesn't entirely encapsulate the main thrust of what I am saying. I think that the 'rules' are going to vary slightly from one person to the next; I've just learned these from my own experiences. I no longer throw my heart into relationships, but that's not to say that I don't allow myself to love that person. I just don't have this mythical idea of what romance is; I don't really believe in romance anymore, I believe in true love which develops over time, and that means being real. And sometimes, that means getting someone's attention. I've been through too many women who like to play games that I just don't know what to believe anymore. All I know is that it seems like whenever I pull back or stop being Mr. Nice guy, things suddenly change for the better.

 

And I reiterate that whatever women say is often far from what they mean. I keep seeing that over and over again. Tonight, for example, my girl first started off by telling me that she doesn't want me to sleep over so often, so I said 'Okay, if that's what you want, then that's fine.' So what does she say after that? 'Well, it's not that you sleep over too often, sometimes it just seems like you've got so much to do and you're so busy.' So which is it, I sleep over too often or I don't spend enough time with her?!?!?! Typical female response - and I get this from women all the time. And most guys get it, too. That's because women don't know what they want. But from our own experiences we know - not based on what women say, but on the bottom line results of their behavior - that women want men who are always a little bit detached from things. The ones who really don't want that are insecure and will end up cheating on you or dumping you without warning anyway, so it's better if you let them leave.

[Touche]

That isn't what I was asking. Think back to the guy with whom you stayed the longest. Tell us two or three things about him, such as his personality. What did you like most about him? Why did you stay with him?

 

Ok, I'll answer this. This Sat. is my 11th anniversary. My H proposed after we knew each other 4 weeks. What were two or three things about him that told me he was right?

 

Well, the number one thing of course is there was a physical attraction. That has to be there. Number two is that he NEVER played any games. After a few dates, he told me how crazy he was about me. He would call me from work just to chat. He never ONCE faked not being interested. I knew immediately where I stood with him.

 

His sense of humor and mine jibed. That was important to me. We had fun. It was REAL. We were intellectually compatible.

 

He didn't try to impress me by taking me out to all the best places. Many of our early dates consisted of him just coming over with a pizza or staying in and watching a movie. We talked a lot..I mean a LOT, about everything.

 

Again, he was REAL. NO games. I would have seen right through any games. I always have. And I've always disliked that.

 

He didn't push sex. Never. Not once. In fact, just the opposite. He told me that he didn't want us to go there until we really knew each other well. He wanted us to be good friends first. (Yes, there was kissing and a little groping but that was it.)

 

I could go on and on.

 

Maybe the above can be a "guide" of sorts for some of you. A guide for getting a REAL woman, a REAL partner..not some superficial little hottie.

[alphamale]

By all means, a man should be warm, loving, honest, affectionate and be able to hold a conversation - I wasn't saying otherwise.

You were trying to say that a real man must be well-balanced and have good self-confidence.

 

All I know is that it seems like whenever I pull back or stop being Mr. Nice guy, things suddenly change for the better.

that is a fact, Jack!

 

And I reiterate that whatever women say is often far from what they mean.

Women tend to be very idealistic and their minds are full of teddybears and cats and cuddly/fuzzy things. They live in this fantacy romance world that only exists in their minds. Womens actions give them away, not their words.

 

Typical female response - and I get this from women all the time. And most guys get it, too. That's because women don't know what they want.

WOmen don't think in a linear or logical fashion. They think with "emotions" and "feelings"...

 

 

- that women want men who are always a little bit detached from things.

women want MASCULINITY which many times is the opposite of FEMININITY. Period, end of story.

[Touche]

Being masculine, and being an idiot are two separate things.

 

Period. End of story. (That's MY line Alpha. You stole that from me.)

[catgirl1927]

Being masculine, and being an idiot are two separate things.

 

:lmao: :lmao: That's awesome.

[Touche]

:lmao: :lmao: That's awesome.

 

Thanks, CG. But you know what? Sometimes, I've discovered, being masculine and being an idiot ARE the same things!

[catgirl1927]

Thanks, CG. But you know what? Sometimes, I've discovered, being masculine and being an idiot ARE the same things!

 

Eh, I wonder if it's not more that we're so used to people with masculine qualities acting like idiots that we associate the two!

[Touche]

Eh, I wonder if it's not more that we're so used to people with masculine qualities acting like idiots that we associate the two!

 

Yes, exactly!

[alphamale]

Eh, I wonder if it's not more that we're so used to people with masculine qualities acting like idiots that we associate the two!

well, unfortunately for you CG1927 its the same male qualities that repulse women that also attract them.

[Touche]

well, unfortunately for you CG1927 its the same male qualities that repulse women that also attract them.

 

Not true. I've never been attracted to idiots. Masculinity, yes. Idiots, no. And as I said, they don't ALWAYS go hand in hand. Though sometimes yes, they do.

[alphamale]

Not true. I've never been attracted to idiots.

most women say this but the "idiots" usually seem to have women flocking all over them. Its the nice emasculated guys who don't get any puxxy.

[Touche]

most women say this but the "idiots" usually seem to have women flocking all over them. Its the nice emasculated guys who don't get any puxxy.

 

They may have women flocking to them as you say. But not THIS woman.

[catgirl1927]

The idiots have very young, insecure, silly women flocking around them.

[alphamale]

The idiots have very young, insecure, silly women flocking around them.

oh yeah, the feminine, dumb and naive ones with firm breasts, pouty lips and tight buttocks

[catgirl1927]

oh yeah, the feminine, dumb and naive ones with firm breasts, pouty lips and tight buttocks

 

Well, if that's all you care about, then don't complain when that's all you get.

[alphamale]

Well, if that's all you care about, then don't complain when that's all you get.

CG1927...have you ever had your hard cock inside a nice tight wet puxxy and sucked on firm breasts and put your hands upon a perfect ass? And tasted the sweet dew upon a young woman's soft lips? And then had those same lips wrapped around the base of your penis?

 

Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

[catgirl1927]

CG1927...have you ever had your hard cock inside a nice tight wet puxxy and sucked on firm breasts and put your hands upon a perfect ass? And tasted the sweet dew upon a young woman's soft lips? And then had those same lips wrapped around the base of you ****?

 

Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

 

I didn't knock it. I just said if this is all you care about, then don't complain about women being shallow or only caring about money or whatever your "complaint of the day" is. If this is all you care about, which is your perogative, then don't expect anything more.