Does she want to end it:Part 2

[Rick]

I submitted a message about two days ago. About me telling my g/f that I wasn't happy about our sex life. Well I talked to her last night and I broke it down in detail on what I wasn't happy about. I guess part of it is me. I get greedy sometimes. But I think most guys are like that. I love making love to her. And she tells me the same thing. But sometimes I just feel as if she doesn't care for my needs. And that's what I told her last night. She admitted that sometimes she's not into because I don't mean to brag but I last too long. And I know that's tiring. So I asked her if she was willing to work some of those things out. And she said yea. I love this girl. And she loves me back. My problem is this. I only get to see my g/f maybe three times a week due to my work schedule. And everytime I get to see her, I want to make love to her. But she just wants me to hold her and baby her. Which I don't mind. And that's where we conflict. Our relationship is good and healthy overall. But that was my only problem with the relationship. I guess at times when I feel like that it's almost as if there was something wrong with me. And then that's when I pull away a little. And she sees this. And she admitted yesterday that when I do that, she pulls away too. So I'm guessing I have to work on that aspect. I really don't want to lose this girl just because I love sex and I want it everyday. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Be honest. I can take it.

[Daisy]

I think that you, as well as her, need to realize that good relationships require compromise. When there are problems within a relationship, the two people involved will never feel satisfied with a solution unless BOTH people's needs are met. Thus, you can't have things 100% the way you want them, and she can't have things 100% the way she wants them either. You need to sit down with her and discuss a way in which you can both compromise, and thus both needs can be met.

 

Perhaps a compromise between the two of you will consist of the two of you only having sex 2 times a week, with the other days available used towards spending quality time together. That's just a possibility though. The details are up to you two to decide. And what you need to focus on is making sure that both you and her are happy and satisfied with the resulting compromise, because if one person's truly not satisfied with the compromise, then nothing's really even being accomplished.

 

Good luck.

[Rick]

Yea, I will take your advice. That's what I suggested for us to do. It's all about compromise. I know. But I will talk to her face to face tomorrow night.

[Ed]

Daisy is right on the mark about compromising and how important it is.

 

You have got to show this lady that you love her, care about her and want to be with her - whether there is sex involved or not. The best way to do that is to be together, go out on dates, have fun together, but don't expect to have sex with her every time you get to see her. Let her make the move toward sexual intimacy sometimes.

 

I know you weren't bragging about your sexual prowess, and I'm not trying to knock it. However, I have some very important questions that you don't have to answer here, but you should discuss with her. Have you discussed her level of sexual pleasure when you have intercourse? Is she sufficiently aroused prior to having intercourse? Is she able to reach a climax during intercourse? She will probably never want to have sex with you, more often, unless she REALLY enjoys it more.

 

There are lots of women that have sex with the guys they love, mostly, just to please him, whether they are pleased or not. Many times women are afraid to say anything for fear of hurting their man's ego. It is your duty to the woman you love to make sure she is being sexually satisfied. You have to find out what turns her on and what makes her climax. Only she knows what makes her body tick, if she doesn't, then she has some homework to do. But if she does, you need to find out what it is.

 

A word of advice - when you do find out what pleases her, don't do it the same way E V E R Y T I M E! Add some variety! And DON'T ask her if she had an orgasm every time you have sex. With enough practice and attention, you will be able to tell.

[yes]

It's not just compromise, i think.

 

U can't make a contract to have sex 2 times per week... BORING!

 

u gotta make her wanna make love to u! all girls love cuddling - some of that is nice - but u gotta make it fun for her! get some toys, some feathers, get some whipped cream, yada yada ... she's probably simply bored of the same scenario every time... spice it up!

 

good luck.

Yea, I will take your advice. That's what I suggested for us to do. It's all about compromise. I know. But I will talk to her face to face tomorrow night.

[BeenThere]

Communication, communication, communication! So far, you are already off to a good start towards building a strong foundation. Keep on talking, and don't stop! A thousand forums won't help the two of you stumble through this thing as much as each other can. It's the only way to build trust, confidence and security in a relationship.

 

I submitted a message about two days ago. About me telling my g/f that I wasn't happy about our sex life. Well I talked to her last night and I broke it down in detail on what I wasn't happy about. I guess part of it is me. I get greedy sometimes. But I think most guys are like that. I love making love to her. And she tells me the same thing. But sometimes I just feel as if she doesn't care for my needs. And that's what I told her last night. She admitted that sometimes she's not into because I don't mean to brag but I last too long. And I know that's tiring. So I asked her if she was willing to work some of those things out. And she said yea. I love this girl. And she loves me back. My problem is this. I only get to see my g/f maybe three times a week due to my work schedule. And everytime I get to see her, I want to make love to her. But she just wants me to hold her and baby her. Which I don't mind. And that's where we conflict. Our relationship is good and healthy overall. But that was my only problem with the relationship. I guess at times when I feel like that it's almost as if there was something wrong with me. And then that's when I pull away a little. And she sees this. And she admitted yesterday that when I do that, she pulls away too. So I'm guessing I have to work on that aspect. I really don't want to lose this girl just because I love sex and I want it everyday. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Be honest. I can take it.