Biology and human responsibility

[tanbark813]

Yet if my hypothetical man would insist on we continue after I have stated I do not wish to' date=' I would consider that rape, because it was agaist my will. [/quote']

 

So doesn't that mean the guy is more in charge?

 

To me, it seems that if you assume women have more responsibility for a sexual encounter, then that basically excuses guys for date rape.

[RarePearl]

Can you please share what exactly happened with your friend? Did she feel forced to have sex as in she didn't really want to, but did it because he insisted? This happens to many, many women every day, especially young girls. They don't want to go further, but for unknown reasons they obey and accept sex against their desire.

 

Also many women feel bad when they are "used for sex" by men - meaning they don't call them afterwards or use them as FWB only. It hurts the vanity and sometimes the emotions as well, but in my opinion,if the woman wanted sex, she was not violated in any way, regardless of her plans or feelings for the man.

[Tim'sAngel]

Can you please share what exactly happened with your friend? Did she feel forced to have sex as in she didn't really want to, but did it because he insisted? This happens to many, many women every day, especially young girls. They don't want to go further, but for unknown reasons they obey and accept sex against their desire.

 

Funny, I was considering commenting on that very thing in my last post. And I don't understand that either why some women feel pressured into consenting to sex against their will, except that maybe they had flirted too much and gave the guy the wrong impression, then felt they had to go throught with it.

 

As for my friend, it was a situation to where they both consented to having sex, and then later the guy called her some ugly names regarding how loose she was and easy to get in bed.

 

Also many women feel bad when they are "used for sex" by men - meaning they don't call them afterwards or use them as FWB only. It hurts the vanity and sometimes the emotions as well, but in my opinion,if the woman wanted sex, she was not violated in any way, regardless of her plans or feelings for the man.

 

I agree

[RarePearl]

To me, it seems that if you assume women have more responsibility for a sexual encounter, then that basically excuses guys for date rape.

It sounded to me like that too.

 

If you assume that the woman is always 100% into it, unless she screams, cries, and struggles, you're denying all that the legal system has achieved by recognizing other types of rape (molestation, date rape, suggestive persuasion, sex with drunken or drugged victims, using authority or superior position upon a subordinate, etc.). Moreover, that attitude leaves so many women doubtful that rape has ever happened to them and the fingers pointed at THEM makes them hide their "shame."

[Tim'sAngel]

So doesn't that mean the guy is more in charge?

 

To me, it seems that if you assume women have more responsibility for a sexual encounter, then that basically excuses guys for date rape.

 

Well I am inclined to agree with you except I was meaning two consenting adults. That statement was only regarding example I was using refuring to a women forcing a man to have sex against his will.

[Tim'sAngel]

It sounded to me like that too.

 

If you assume that the woman is always 100% into it, unless she screams, cries, and struggles, you're denying all that the legal system has achieved by recognizing other types of rape (molestation, date rape, suggestive persuasion, sex with drunken or drugged victims, using authority or superior position upon a subordinate, etc.). Moreover, that attitude leaves so many women doubtful that rape has ever happened to them and the fingers pointed at THEM makes them hide their "shame."

 

Ok this is getting much more deeper than I intended. I agree with everything you've both said, however any comment I have made in this thread is regarding two consenting adults, all rapes excluded. Of course if a women is taken against her will it wasn't her fault, unless the girl had egged the rapist on by being seductive and then backing out, and even that wouldn't excuse such vile behaviour.

[RarePearl]

As for my friend, it was a situation to where they both consented to having sex, and then later the guy called her some ugly names regarding how loose she was and easy to get in bed.

Oh, OK. Tanbark and I got into a different subject. Well the regret happened AFTER the sex so it's not the same.

 

That guy is a total ass and I would also regret the sex if I were her. I hope he didn't spread his impressions around among your mutual friends though.

 

If yes then she should tell everyone that he is small, quick, and couldn't retain his erection.

[RarePearl]

and easy to get in bed.

Oh... so he wasn't easy? It's like murdering someone together and saying that the other person is a murderer! Such men make me sick to the stomack!

 

I, personally, have been easy for all the men I wanted... but the ones I didn't want - couldn't get me no matter what (and those have outnumbered the ones I slept with big time!). So am I easy or hard to get? Try your luck, buddy!

[Nicholas]

So I'm confused, does this mean that after having children, humans should separate and find another partner? Does this mean, in terms of biology, that humans arn't meant to mate for life?

 

Plenty of animals mate for life, because it is better suited for their place in nature. Many would argue that humans are going to be more successful as a species if we mate for life.

 

Is this why people cheat on each other? Is it just in our nature?

 

We are responsible for our own choices. Blaming nature is lame.

 

Logically it doesn't make any sense since both partners have to consent.

 

Sure, consent, of course. But selection still often takes place with just one person. Usually, one person says, "I want this," and the other says "k, I could go for that."

 

the female bird wouldn't want a male bird with dull feathers who might not be able to protect her and their offspring.

 

The reason females look for big/bright feathers is because a bird with bright feathers or bulky, large feathers is more likely to be eaten. Thus, if a bird has survived with such a handicap, they are probably really strong and otherwise genetically fit.

 

If women are so sure that a man will be a good father why do so many women end up picking deadbeat sorry excuses for fathers?

 

I think it has to do with child abuse, directly or otherwise. That's something unique to humans, as far as I know--at least considering abused human children often reach full, dysfunctional adulthood.

 

some animal males leave once their seed has been concieved and it is left up to the female to raise the young.

 

On the subject of sexual selection, all organisms fall into two categories, and it has to do with whether there's a responsibility to "raise the young" or whether nature raises the young by herself.

 

The second category is concerned with producing a crap load of offspring with no real parental guidance, the majority/weaker of which die, and first is concerned with one or two or three prized possessions, all of the effort being made by the parents to ensure their survival. With that in mind, the parents who don't stick around for their eggs to hatch are just doing their job, and the female is not "stuck" with the offspring, they merely survive and produce children in the next generation, or they do not.

 

Of course if a women is taken against her will it wasn't her fault, unless the girl had egged the rapist on by being seductive and then backing out, and even that wouldn't excuse such vile behaviour.

 

It's really important to outwardly express the last part of that and not the middle, you know? A lot of people who are raped are really ashamed of it because they can imagine that they could have perhaps been at fault for it, a weakness that rapists often exploit to keep their victims silent.

[Yamaha]

Very few men will say no when in a sexual encounter. It is programmed in us to want sex. Most men, even if he had second thoughts about bedding a women, will go ahead anyway because he has been programmed to always want sex. Many men are of the opinion that any sex is better than no sex.

 

Women are more selective and the drive to get it as much as possible is not as strong. They know then they want it it will happen. Most men do not have this confidence so when the opportunuity arises they jump.

[alphamale]

In biology' date=' the female always picks the male. [/quote']

I've been saying this for ages. Any man who is good with women knows its the woman who chooses the man...

 

but a research shows that women can look at a man and in a short amount of time can tell whether or not he would make a good father for her children.

It takes like 30 seconds, tops...

[Tim'sAngel]

against her will it wasn't her fault, unless the girl had egged the rapist on by being seductive and then backing out, and even that wouldn't excuse such vile behaviour.

 

It's really important to outwardly express the last part of that and not the middle, you know? A lot of people who are raped are really ashamed of it because they can imagine that they could have perhaps been at fault for it, a weakness that rapists often exploit to keep their victims silent.

 

I see where your coming from, and I don't want what I said to me taken the wrong way. Anyone that knows me knows I tend to go againts the grain to see the other side of the fence. I'm not here to offend anyone, it's just how I am. I will never say a rape of a female is her fault. Rape is a horrible thing and there are absolutely no excuses whatsoever.

 

Personally, I have come into contact with women who dress provacatively and hang with people she knows are dangerous, flirt, come on to men who have shady pasts, then she becomes upset when he starts coming onto her and trying to bed her. Why wouldn't he? She gave him every reason to think thats what she wanted. This is where I say, and this is JMHO, that women have a big responsibility when it comes to dressing appropriately and behaving themselves like a lady in the presents of men. If a women is at a party and shes on a table dancing taking her clothes off, drunk off her butt, well of course shes gonna get laid, prolly by several different men. Where as if she would have acted more like a lady and just had a few drinks, engaged in conversation, laughed, flirted, and then gone home, she would have no regrets. The reason this subject is so important to me is because I was that girl at one point. My parents always told me growing up to save myself for marriage and they never taught me what to do if I didn't. So when I lost my virginity to someone I thought I was going to marry and then broke up with this person, I was lost without a clue. Looking back I see where everyone one of my sexual encounters, I could have just easily turned them down and walked away, and would have no regrets for it now.

 

I can't remember one instance that a man turned me down for sex, and I wasn't the sexiest women out there either. I'm sure some have so don't misquote me, but I can't even imagine it. Once two people are obviously attracted to each other and they are headed towards the bedroom, why would he turn her down? Women experience far more regret than men do, in most cases that is, so we have a reason.

 

Maybe I just set higher morals for myself than other women. I feel that if I sleep with someone and the situations turns out bad, I fully blame myself because at any time I could have just walked away.