Moving out mixed messages given

[Guest]

My husband and I talked yesterday in the morning yesterday and it was decided that I would move from the maritial home (with our kids) with a signed separation agreement.

 

Well after this discussion my husband has never been nicer to me. I mean he was sitting close to me asking if I needed anything. Things he has not done in 6 months, he was just cold and blank. Then later at about 2 am (we sleep in the same bed but NEVER go near each other), he is spooning me and then we had sex, passionate sex. This is all too confusing.....what is going on with this man??

[Gunny376]

The "E" ride from Hell!

 

To "Crazy~time"

 

To "Nothing makes sense!"

 

To your past, your presant, your future ~ all colliding at the same time!

 

All you can do ~ is get in, sit down, shut up ~ hang on ~ and "white kuckle" it to the end of the ride.

 

Make sure you scream on the down~hill! Even cry a little ~ and do a OMG on the up-swing ~ the up-hill!

 

You're on the roller-coaster from Hell, you're in the,....................Twilight Zone!

[Guest]

I do not know why he would want to make things more complicated than they are. Today I am contacting my lawyer and I hope that he means what he is saying about me moving with the kids and is not back tracking with this.

Because in my mind once I move and I am not coming back, I am going to be embarrassed as it is taking my stuff out of the house, after just moving here with him 6 months ago.

[Gunny376]

Divorce ~ oftentimes can and is a paradox ~ something that is two totoally opposite things at the same time ~ both a "yes and a "no" ~ both "Black" and "white" ~ "Light" and "dark" - all at the exact same moment in time and space.

 

Its wrought with in-decievness, and your mind tends to waffle back and forth ~ "Am I doing the right thing? Is this what I want? Is this what he wants? Is this the best thing for the kids? Am, I getting screwed? Can I make it on my own? How will I handle being alone."

 

The actual questiosn vary from person to person, because each person's circumstances ~ while be identical ~ are not the same ~ (again yet another paradox)

 

Unless the other person ~ categorically draws a line in the sand, digs their heels in ~ and paractically screams ~ "LET'S STOP THIS MADNESS~ I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE" then I would ignore any "ghost talk" and subliminal messages to the contary.

 

There's a couple of things that you can do.

 

First, you can have one last final short discussion with him again ~ "Are you absolutely sure this is what "we" want.

 

The second ~ I wouldn't be so resolute in being absolute about not coming back ~ at some point in the future. That's you pride talking. Whatever issues you have ~ the two of you may not be capable of resolving within the framework of living together ~ married, and need to seaprate in order to do so. It happens like that sometimes. I've known lot of couples who for whatever reason can't get along as a married couple ~ but do just fine living together? Crazy I know ~ go figure.

 

It use to be that marriage ~ was a social-cultural-religious-legal contract between two people, because of the politicians, lawyers, courts, women's lib ~ its become less and less social-cultural-religious contract and more and more just a legal contract. Again this varies from person to person ~ couple to couple.

 

You don't elaborate as to what the issues are? But, from your post I sense that at least you ~ yourself have doubts about it all. With that I wouldn't be in any hurry to call in the wrecking crew. I know a couple, where the wife went down, hired a lawyer, had the divorce papers drawed up, signed them, he moved out ~ saw them at WalMart together about two weeks ago.

 

Sounds, like from what little you've posted ~ you two need to withdraw to your respective corners ~ have mininum contact with each other ~ take sometime to yourself ~ and think this through. Doesn't sound as though you've done that ~ and that there might be lingering doubts about the "decision"