Looking for input- this something to be concerned about?

[skinut2234]

Just wanted to post this.....I've been doing a little soul searching and I've noticed a trend- (trying to figure out what makes me happy/unhappy etc).

It seems what truely makes me happy is pleasing others... You may say- "oh that is not a bad thing"- but I'm not so sure... I am always looking to insure other around me are happy- Once they are, I am- I am never focused or care about what others do for me (in fact - I feel uncomfortable if someone does something for me)- For example- we go out with another family for dinner- I immediately focus on insuring they have a good time- I go above and beyond to make sure my kids are good and quiet etc etc..... and i just watch them and if they are happy-I am content (if something goes wrong - like we get a snotty server or something, even though it's out of my control- I get very flustered-) I am like that with everyone around me and feel like a pushover-

Is this normal?? How do I go about doing something about it?

[Pyro]

Just remember that you are only one person. You can't please everyone 100% of the time. We are human. Are you 100% happy with yourself? You shouldn't please others unless you are 100% happy with yourself. You shouldn't feel like a pushover about anything. If you ever feel that way about something, then stop. Just remember that this is a big world that we live in and you will always run into snotty type people.

[PerfectLee]

I go through moments where I'm like this as well. I tend to others' needs at parties, dinners, etc. It's because while growing up as the oldest sister, I was counted on by my parents to take care of my younger siblings. I've realized, now that I'm 30, that there's nothing wrong with wanting to please others, but it needs to be subtle and not out of desperation for recognition and praise. I found that I would tend to others because I wanted to hear the "thank you's" for my efforts, because I never did when I was younger. Instead...it was expected! I took my caring nature and really focused on myself emotionally, physically etc... and now I'm so confident and happy with myself. If you portray yourself as a pushover, as a "yes" person, there will undoubetly be people who will take advantage of you and take you for granted. That's when it hurts the most.