jmargel Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I told you before that the one thing that would work is 'tough love'. She hasn't faced any of the consequences due to her actions. She still believes deep down that the cheating she's done is justifiable. She's immature and only cares about herself. Quit rolling over and piddling. She's not the same woman you fell in love with years ago. People change sometimes for the better, most of the time for the worst. She's using you as a safety net, and I can guarantee that she is in contact with this OM or some other guy she met. Why else would she leave 8,9,10pm and let her kids behind? Her priorites are not straight and by you tolerating her behavior she is going to continue it. Lay down boundaries and give ultamatiums. If she wants to go tell her she has your blessing but that the divorce papers will be in the mail. There was another poster on here about 1 1/2 yrs ago that I helped out for months. His wife was doing the same thing to him and giving him mixed signals. In the end she was still cheating on him while playing with his head. I'm sorry but this marriage is over. Don't base your self-worth on her. She needs alot of counseling and until she makes that step nothing is going to change. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Hate to agree with JM, but he's right. Until she understands the conquences of her actions, life is the way it is. I guess I don't understand how she could rather spend time with someone else so much, rather than being home with her OWN children. That is the most sad part of your situation. The kids. (Though I'm not saying you're not important, it's just the kids are so innocent in all this and in the end, they pay for it.) Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I know it's hard for him to hear, and I'm not meaning to be cruel. But I'm not doing this for my health I'm doing it to help him. It's hard for me to come here, day after day and read the same kind of stories. The only reason I do still is because I feel like I have something to contribute that perhaps they are not getting elsewhere. I have a unique perspective because I've been the wife in a situation just like that so I hope he takes what I'm saying seriously. Your neighbor or sister in law is not going to say "Yeah, I screwed around on my husband- and this is how it goes" because most people do not tell the truth about it in the first place. It happens in ALOT of marriages and people never know. Link to post Share on other sites
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