Emailing a hottie 60 times a day....about STAR WARS?!

[Rocco Cranston]

Emailing a hottie 60 times a day....about STAR WARS?!

OK...where do I begin? I am married for 5+ years with a 8 month old kid...we've had an OK marriage, with a lot of bickering, but things got really bad when the baby came...fighting like crazy, throwing stuff, anger, etc...

 

Sooo, recently I met this new intern at work...12 years YOUNGER than me and HOT as hell...very attractive....and we have a common interest...doun't laugh...STAR WARS....

 

Well for the past week or so we have emailed each other practically NON-STOP throught out the day...with constant references to the movies, etc...trivia stuff, etc...nothing sexual..

 

The past few days we have gotten off Star Wars occasionally and talked about other life stuff--what's going on for the weekend, do you want a coffee I am running to starbucks, etc.

 

I get VERY excited and thrilled when I email her or receive email from her...like I did when I was a teenager (I am 33 now)

 

I told her today that if she ever wants me to stop emailing, say the word...she ignored that part of the email and responded to another part...

 

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE???? Thanks

[Art_Critic]

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE????

 

You are getting ready to cheat on your wife and ruin your childs life...

Stop it.

 

The young intern is exactly that.. a young intern with NO responsiblitites.. you on the other hand are not..

 

Start working on your marriage.. put the same energy into your wife that you are putting into the intern..

 

How about emailing your wife all day long.. tell her how much you want her

[westernxer]

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE????

 

Are you serious?

[Rocco Cranston]

Wow, I got chills when I first read your post....so thank you for that...

 

But I read it again and thought to myself...is what I am doing "normal"? Emailing that much?

 

I probably know the answers myself but don't want to admit it.

[Rocco Cranston]

yes, i am serious....i am confused or would never have come here

 

I mean it's all about Star Wars...well maybe it is just for her (the intern)

 

I really do not know what to think

[Art_Critic]

Wow, I got chills when I first read your post....so thank you for that...

 

Your welcome .. don't f*** up your marriage for someone that doesn't care about your life

[Rocco Cranston]

Please try to help me...what the hell is this intern thinking??? She knows I am married...I have even talked to her about my wife...told her I was buying my wife some flowers...

 

??? Is she interested and does she know what she is doing? Or is she oblivious and I am the one looking to be a jerk to my wife???

[kitten chick]

Does it matter what she's thinking? If you're here it's too ambiguous to continue to happen. If you even have a question as to what her motives are then just put an end to it.

[Rocco Cranston]

yeah, but if it's just about Star Wars...which I love by the way...or could this lead to bad stuff?

 

I am just playing Devil's advocate here...I think I am getting the message from you guys...this is just all new to me, that's all

[Rosalind]

could this lead to bad stuff?

 

absolutely...stop NOW

[Rocco Cranston]

Well thank you....it all seems so innocent, although my mind is clearly thinking dirty...that I will admit...almost in a fantasy way, you know?

 

I just didn't know that something so simple like sci-fi movie discussions could get that dangerous...I suppose the 60 emails a day back and forth was the first clue....

[justagirliegirl]

I strongly agree with AC. If you just put 1/2 of the effort into your marriage that you are putting into this nonsense, your marriage would probably be a lot better.

 

Start courting and pursuing your wife again.

[norajane]

Please try to help me...what the hell is this intern thinking??? She knows I am married...I have even talked to her about my wife...told her I was buying my wife some flowers...

 

??? Is she interested and does she know what she is doing? Or is she oblivious and I am the one looking to be a jerk to my wife???

 

She could be a really bored intern and is passing the time with the friendly guy in the office that likes Star Wars. You're married, so she knows you're off-limits, but the little flirtation makes the day more fun. It's probably flattering, too, to have all your attention all day. She may not realize that you're taking this flirtation seriously.

 

So what? What are your intentions? That's really what matters.

[johan]

Don't use the force, Rocco.

[Rocco Cranston]

Nora Jane, while all the posts were very helpful...YOURS seems to hit it on the head...if I am being honest with myself, that's what is going on.

 

But to the more important issue...being honest to my wife....you're right....why the ^&$%&%$ am I devoting so much energy into a kid who outside of looking hot really is nothing more to me?

 

my wife and I are going to marriage counceling and I am going to a start with a therapist just to talk to someone and avoid s*** like this in the future...

 

Thanks, believe it or not you guys really helped me and have given me A LOT to think about....thank you.

[Rocco Cranston]

Johan,

 

Please...no more Star Wars inneuendos...I've had enough recently!!!!!

 

ha!

[j.carsey]

Emailing a hottie 60 times a day....about STAR WARS?!

I get VERY excited and thrilled when I email her or receive email from her...like I did when I was a teenager (I am 33 now)

 

Uh oh uh oh

nope

 

You are crossing into inappropriate territory with this .Of course you are allowed to have contact with females you're not married to, BUT moderate it. Lower the pace there, cut down on the emailing, and spend more time with your wife and kids.

[Rocco Cranston]

Not that it even matters really, but what would be a good way to end this with this intern? Just ignore her or tell her I feel we have gone to far?

 

I realize the more important issue is fixing stuff with my WIFE....that's the real issue....but I am curious about the best way to deal with this intern because I know first thing tomorrow am it is going to start up again....we're right before the part emailing goes after hours, but we'll need to make sure we never see THAT day...

[whichwayisup]

Go read some threads in the OW/OM section and also in the infidelity section.

 

Let's put it this way. If your wife knew you were emailing SO many emails with another woman she would be upset, jealous and hurt. What if your wife was madly emailing back and forth with a HOT guy...Don't ya think you'd be pissed off about that? Wonder WHY she is spending time talking to him, possibly heading off to meet him for "coffee?"

 

I agree, spend more time with your family. Go to marriage counselling and LEARN how to handle problems at home instead of you two fighting and throwing things...That's not a healthy way of living for anybody, especially your kids. The MC will teach you two how to listen and communicate better.

 

As for the HOT GIRL...She more than likely doesn't care if you're married or not. She's not looking for anything serious, just some fun on the side...For now. Imagine you going out with her and something happens...Then one day she's knocking on your door, wanting you to leave your wife and children to be with her forever.

 

THINK MAN, THINK!! Tell this girl the 'friendship' is appropriate because you're a married man. Respect your vows, your wife and your marriage.

[whichwayisup]

Not that it even matters really, but what would be a good way to end this with this intern? Just ignore her or tell her I feel we have gone to far?

All you have to tell her is, "I'm married. Not interested." You don't "owe" her a huge explanation...And don't worry so much IF you hurt her feelings. Don't stress out about it because I think your wife's feelings are alot more important than this girl.

 

Don't return her emails after you talk to her, if she has the nerve to even bother emailing you again. Don't spend ANY time with her, and only talk to her in a professional way.

[Rocco Cranston]

F***. I seriously did not realize that I was really playing with fire here.

 

I am an idiot I guess...and an alcoholic (sober for 4+ years)...my point of saying that is I sometimes take things too far or overboard...I have a really addictive personality (both a blessing and a curse)

 

Sooo...I once again went too far...well too far could still be ahead...better quit now while I still have a chance...

[Sand&Water]

Sooo, recently I met this new intern at work...12 years YOUNGER than me and HOT as hell...very attractive....and we have a common interest...doun't laugh...STAR WARS....

 

It's interesting, now that I think about it, how you interpreted the scheme of things.

 

No kind of "Red Lightbulb" started flashing in your head when you first began talking to this woman. You kept on ignoring the obvious, and thought to yourself that perhaps this is innocent friendlyness and nothing more. That in itself, just boggles my mind.

 

Implant it in your head - Know where to draw the line.

[Rocco Cranston]

At first it was innocent....but I admit I kind of ignored the obvious....look, I am not saying she is throwing herself at me..I have definitely flirted back...I am not saying I am 100% innocent here dude

[whichwayisup]

Just don't "PUT" yourself IN a situation that could be mistaken for something else.

 

Flirting and laughing innocently is fine once in a while, we all do it and we all enjoy the attention, it makes the day go by faster and it's good for the ego. BUT, to email with a young single HOT girl, is just wrong. AND she's an intern...Just doesn't look good and I'm sure your wife would NOT be pleased...

 

Innocent or not, you really don't know this girls intentions or how far she 'could' take things...Or want to take things. Don't put yourself in that situation where saying NO will be difficult. Don't tempt yourself!

 

Congrats on being sober for 4 years! My bestfriend still goes to AA meetings and has 12 years sobriety. I understand the 'addictive' part because I've seen her transfer from booze to food, to men, sex and all that jazz. She's straighten herself out with lots of therapy, sponsors, friends, family helping her. Now she's married, has a child and is quite stable and happy. I will tell ya, she has her moments when she slips into the old pattern...Not the urge to drink, but the 'addictive' part that takes over and makes your thinking not clear - That's when she heads to a meeting or sometimes calls me.

 

Don't be afraid to reach out and talk to a sponsor or go to a meeting. It's all in your mind right now...YOU have control over it, not it having control over you.

[Rocco Cranston]

Thanks whichwayisup....your friend sounds like me...

 

I mean if I step back and think about this as an outsider it all seems so friggin obvious....I mean I actually have to laugh that somehow I felt I could "justify" this...

 

I think it is because it really helped my ego...what guy who's losing some hair and starting to get love handles wouldn't love to think he's still the handsome 22 year old he once was? Well that's what is happening here I think anyways...

 

My kid...and my wonderful wife...she is wonderful...THOSE are the blessings I have been given...

 

I am glad I did a Google search tonight and found this website...