Emailing a hottie 60 times a day....about STAR WARS?!

[whichwayisup]

I'm glad that what we're all saying is sinking in and you were smart enough to realize that "something" about being intouch with the hot girl wasn't cool. If you were single, different story...Though, her being an intern at your work...That's another can of worms there too. Could ruin HER early start out in the work force and get a reputation and also could have ruined your reputation. People in the office LOVE gossip...

 

I mean if I step back and think about this as an outsider it all seems so friggin obvious....I mean I actually have to laugh that somehow I felt I could "justify" this...

 

You just have to stop and think...Of the full picture, and possible consquences of actions.

 

I think it is because it really helped my ego...what guy who's losing some hair and starting to get love handles wouldn't love to think he's still the handsome 22 year old he once was? Well that's what is happening here I think anyways...

 

There's flirting and having a good laugh to make you feel good about yourself. That's normal.... But then there's flirting and having to HAVE the flirting SO you can feel good about yourself. And then the next phase is, intentionally flirting to it could lead to more.........

[Rocco Cranston]

I don't feel I NEED the flirting, but I started flirting with her BECASUE she was HOT...and then when she reciprocated...(if you call Star Wars talk on email flirting) then I started to get hooked....

 

She (the intern) probably doesn't even know I am taking her emails the way I am...

 

I'll start emailing my wife some more now...

[ronnieromance]

I think a lot of it may stem from the feeling you get in meeting a woman who shares a real interest in something you do, but women in general typically don't.

 

I know the feeling. I just met a wonderful girl on WebDate who shares my love for automobiles.

 

Star Wars is a wonderful allegory on a lot of levels, BTW. There's a lot to talk about.

 

 

-R-

[crazy_grl]

Rocco, I'm glad you're realizing how this could lead to a very very bad situation.

 

I think since the girl has not actually done anything to imply her emails are anything more than friendly chat to help the day pass faster, if you end the flirtation by saying that you can't talk to her because you're married, it could end up pretty embarassing for you if she really wasn't interested in anything more than talking Star Wars. So, I think you should simply tell her that the emails have been a distraction from your work and you're going to have to stop them.

 

If she persists after that, then you can tell her that you have a wife and can't be talking so much with single women.

[alphamale]

I get VERY excited and thrilled when I email her or receive email from her...like I did when I was a teenager (I am 33 now)

Put your cock back in your pants and take care of your wife and kid. If you're not happy with your current arrangement then get divorced and then start dating 20 year olds.

[hyakku]

Woah man, chill out. Its not as serious as people are really putting it.

 

First off, there's no point in "breaking it off" with the intern. There was NOTHING started. To her you've been talking about star wars, especially because she hasn't even been sending you signs, just talking about a movie!

 

Two, you are allowed to think other women are hot. It is natural. It's stupid for everyone to blame you for thinking this woman is hot. If she is hot, she's hot, there's nothing wrong with saying that.

 

Three, you shouldn't live in a fantasy world, but you shouldn't be punished for having dirty thoughts. That's just ridiculous. There's a line between fantasy and reality, and you are no where near crossing into reality. You really just need to make sure that you don't wind up getting "hurt" from a relationship that really never happened.

 

Honestly, if all you are talking about is star wars, theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you REALLY don't think you can't keep going on without getting emotionally invested (Do you fall in love with your guy friends who like Star Wars?) because of all the intergalactic space talk, then you might need to get some help on being more secure and able to cope with speaking to women without becoming emotionally invested.

[whichwayisup]

I get VERY excited and thrilled when I email her or receive email from her...like I did when I was a teenager (I am 33 now)

 

hyakku, those are his words...You don't see anything wrong with that? He's also admitted to having an addictive personality, has stopped drinking... Did you read his other replies?

 

Oh, and he's married. There's a big difference in having afew laughs and abit of innocent flirting in the office, but doing that much emailing is EXCESSIVE, considering he's married. If the rolls were reversed, EVERYBODY would be telling the woman that the man is after one thing only and how wrong it is for her to be emailing with another man 60x during the day.

[Rocco Cranston]

Well the emailing is back and forth, just fyi

 

So today she emails me a few times, somewhat flirtatous and NOT star wars related....

 

I ignore them.

 

I later type this and send it to her: "hey not trying to be a jerk but i just think we need to cut down on emailing"

 

Her reply: "ok"

 

I should have stopped there....but nooooo...

 

I write: "and it's definitely not anything personal, it's just that well you know"

 

Her reply: "thats fine...I dont want to get in trouble for email star wars questions at work"

 

She later on ignores me the rest of the day...she seemed pissed...she never ignored me like that (obviously)

 

So I confide in a friend at work about the situation. He advises me to be cool but set her straight...but not becuz I am married but becuz I might get in trouble for so much email....she might not even like me sexually, after all..

 

I write: "hey, i hope we're cool...i just didn't want excessive star wars emailing to cause a problem here at work, that's all let me know"

 

She replies: "no...I completely understand, we're definetely cool. By the way...I have your blah blah blah (office talk)...."

 

And then she's fine again....and emailing me like crazy again.

 

I am not going to cheat on my wife...but that's what happened today.

[whichwayisup]

You shouldn't have emailed her back a second time because now she's emailing you again. So, just don't answer them. Be polite to her face to face, but just don't get caught up on the emailing. And whatever you do, DO NOT SAY anything that could come back and bite you in the bum if she shows the emails to someone else...

[Rocco Cranston]

yeah, that would be bad.....

 

Honestly, though, there is a part of me that wants to know where her head is...not to pursue it, but just WHY did she get pissed when I basically laid down the law early in the day??? My mind does wonder about that

[Touche]

You're not going to stop until you're SURE she likes you in more than just a friendly way.

 

You're addicted to the "high" that you're getting from this little flirtation. It's not unlike the high you get from drinking.

 

This woman is attracted to you. She would not be emailing you that much if she just looked at you as a friend and nothing more. So now you know. Can you stop? And if you don't, can you draw a line that you will NEVER step over?

[crazy_grl]

Honestly, though, there is a part of me that wants to know where her head is...not to pursue it, but just WHY did she get pissed when I basically laid down the law early in the day??? My mind does wonder about that

 

If it's not to pursue it, why does it matter? Get the thought out of your head.

[Rocco Cranston]

Yes, I admit I am addicted to the "high" or adrenaline rush I am experiencing with the flirtation.

 

I also admit that it is wrong...and normally I would punch anyone who used the excuses I am using or said the things I am saying.

 

I am going to get help...through counceling...both solo and marriage.

 

I just cannot figure out how someone that hot can be into someone like me, although I do have a pretty cool job...and despite me being a bit on the geeky side, I just learned this hot intern likes geeks or something (my guy friend just told me in another email...he found it out...he was a previous outgoing intern and somehow found this out about her)

[Touche]

So as I said, she DOES like you in more than just a friendly way. So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to stop? Or continue and see how far it goes?

[Art_Critic]

How would you feel if your wife was emailing a man at work all day long and flirting with him.. with all the intentions of taking it further ?

 

 

Well... just because your wife doesn't know about what your doing doesn't make it right..

 

I personally believe that at this point anything that happens is on your shoulders.. you are acting like a 13 year old with a crush.. you're not.

 

There is a 3rd person involved in this and that person is your wife..

 

Why not ask her what you should do ?

[crazy_grl]

I just cannot figure out how someone that hot can be into someone like me, although I do have a pretty cool job...and despite me being a bit on the geeky side, I just learned this hot intern likes geeks or something (my guy friend just told me in another email...he found it out...he was a previous outgoing intern and somehow found this out about her)

 

Maybe she's got a daddy complex and you remind her of her father? If that doesn't cool you off, I'm not sure what will...

[Rocco Cranston]

This woman is attracted to you. She would not be emailing you that much if she just looked at you as a friend and nothing more.

 

So that explains why she did seem pissed when I was "breaking it off"....?

 

Well I thank you all....I am using this board just to let out emotions and express what's jumping around in my head.

 

On top of moral issues, I don't even have the balls to cheat on my wife...

 

But I am very glad I came here and shared this with you guys...it has helped clear up some things for sure...

[Tony T]

If you continue this tomfoolery, the force will be with you....right on your butt!

[Touche]

This woman is attracted to you. She would not be emailing you that much if she just looked at you as a friend and nothing more.

 

So that explains why she did seem pissed when I was "breaking it off"....?

 

Well I thank you all....I am using this board just to let out emotions and express what's jumping around in my head.

 

On top of moral issues, I don't even have the balls to cheat on my wife...

 

But I am very glad I came here and shared this with you guys...it has helped clear up some things for sure...

 

Well of COURSE that's why she was pissed. I've been trying to tell you. So what are you going to do? Do you have the will-power to cut it off? Do you want to cut it off? Or will you continue and not let it get physical? What are you going to do?

[Art_Critic]

I don't even have the balls to cheat on my wife...

 

For the record it doesn't take a set of balls to cheat on ones wife.. it takes a total lack of good character..

 

It takes a set of balls to stay faithful

[Rocco Cranston]

Yes, I need to take the high ground, stay true to my Christian faith, and just be a good person...I get it....now will I? That is the test of my moral character.

 

HOWEVER...I am a little in shock that this intern has given me this much attention...again, it is a physical thing with a general interest in sci-fi movies...

 

That's the deal here...

[norajane]

The deal, I think, is the ego-stroking you're getting out of this flirtation. It's ok to like it and be flattered. Just don't take it seriously. And let it go.

[Rocco Cranston]

Gotcha...if something like the below happened on email today, perhaps this would be a step in the WRONG direction, correct?

 

Hypothetical email to her: "Did you hear Paul Harvey's report today about people with migraines? i had to laugh...keep in mind i get them too" (assume for this story she got one last night...and the report, of course, states that A study of 20-somethings shows that migraine sufferers want sex more than people with other kinds of headaches.)

 

Her hypothetical response: "Yes I heard Paul HArvey's report and they talked about it on TV last night and I was watching it with my mom. I laughed and she just looked at me and shook her head."

 

I mean that would not be good if that exchange took place...thank goodness this is just a hypothetical....

[norajane]

Why are you still emailing with her? You are willing to jeopardize both your job and your marriage for an ego boost?

[hyakku]

Gotcha...if something like the below happened on email today, perhaps this would be a step in the WRONG direction, correct?

 

Hypothetical email to her: "Did you hear Paul Harvey's report today about people with migraines? i had to laugh...keep in mind i get them too" (assume for this story she got one last night...and the report, of course, states that A study of 20-somethings shows that migraine sufferers want sex more than people with other kinds of headaches.)

 

Her hypothetical response: "Yes I heard Paul HArvey's report and they talked about it on TV last night and I was watching it with my mom. I laughed and she just looked at me and shook her head."

 

I mean that would not be good if that exchange took place...thank goodness this is just a hypothetical....

 

Woah, nora, you are taking this a tad bit too far. He sent an email being firendly, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

Are you not going to speak to any women because you are married? I'm sure your wife isn't that insecure.