Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 oh my God...I really have been naive. I mean I guess I can't get "mad" per se at anyone but myself. I feel like a fool and feel so bad I have embarrassed my wife. This intern could be chatting it up with the other interns and having a good laugh. Meanwhile I have disgraced my wife and shown how low I can stoop. what a d!ck I am. Geez... Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 With all due respect, Rocco, this thread reminds me of that joke; "Men are as faithful as their options". And, God, I thought CR was joking! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 ha! Who is "CR"? Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 ha! Who is "CR"? I think it was Chris Rock who said that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 oh...well sadly it seems to apply here... Link to post Share on other sites
bella_girl Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Rocco - actually i don't think it's all that bad, you've managed to realise what was is going on and how she just likes the attention. Of course you feel a bit played/niave. You always feel like that when you like someone more than they like you. Re Why did this happen..... well it sounds like attention and communication with your wife is lacking a bit at the moment. So if someone else offers you attention of course you're going to be flattered/excited etc etc... but don't mistake that for love or interest. maybe you and your wife need to spend some time together and start working out why you got married in the first place and remember the reasons why you are together. If it's worth it to you put your energy into that, rather than chasing attention/drama that is not real. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Rocco, stop emailing with her for starters. You asked her already to stop, and then you let it all happen again. Just don't answer ANY of her emails, she'll stop when she realizes you aren't emailing her back... The other thing is, (and I know you aren't going to cheat on your wife) the frame of mind you're in right now, atleast the ego part of it, is enjoying the attention from this hot woman...That's hard to give up when you really like it. Problem is, it sends HER the wrong message. Not only because you're married, and she is an intern at work, but by letting her continue emailing and getting close to crossing the lines (again) it could be feeding into her mind that you want something more...Even though you've talked to her and she knows you're married, your actions show her otherwise. You're paying attention to her as well, she likes it too. Ya just gotta stop. Focus that energy into your wife! Make things good again at home and when at work, stop using your email for personal reasons. Buisness only!! Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Send her a pic of you in a storm trooper outfit, trust me she won't want you after that Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 ha ha...very funny... This intern just likes the attention...no wait, LOVES the attention. I am no Brad Pitt, but my position, wit and humor make me somewhat attractive (just as my wife lol)....soooo, when I send a flirty email or refer to her as hot WHY WOULDN'T SHE LOVE THAT?!?!?! It's all becoming clear to me....I mean EVERYONE has an ego to some degree and to have me giving her attention helps pass her day. She does not want to sleep with me. This just feels good to type out... My wife is wonderful and deserves my very best. That feels good to type to... Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Rocco - I think you are doing great... your plans to go to a meeting as well as seek spiritual counseling are indicative that you are working to get through this. You've also figured that it is related to the problems you and your wife have had communicating. You mentioned that the communication is getting better - - keep it up. Put your energy into fixing the communication (and trust me the sex will follow). Keep up the good work. Cherriesred: sorry I missed your post a few pages back. Good for you for blocking the OM. Sounds like you and I and Rocco are all on our way. Let's keep up the good work! Link to post Share on other sites
insomnie Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I've been following this thread with my breath held - at so many points it reads like a train wreck waiting to happen. I hope you do the right thing Rocco and STOP EMAILING THIS INTERN. I know you want to WANT to do the right thing, but it seems every time you resolve to do it, the ego part of you screams for attention and then instead of worrying about your marriage and feeling guilty you begin to care more about what the intern is thinking. What is even MORE frightening is that each time you manage to rationlize your behaivior: it's all innocent (you know it's not), there is no way a little emailing can lead to sex (it can and sometimes sounds like it would if she wanted you), she probably isn't even interested (that isn't even relevent), etc... What if she wanted to sleep with you? In one of your emails you basically asked her out - you are pursuing her and it seems the course of your relationship is limited not by THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MARRIED but the fact that you - and her - don't know what she wants. I REALLY hope you grow up and do the right thing Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 Valid points....I NEVER said I was a role model for good behavior or that I was perfect. I am using the relative anonymity of this message board to express all the weird feelings I have...and not trying to "say the right thing" What I have typed is what is going thru my head...so what if it is f***ed up? I wouldn't be here if it wasn't and I CERTAINLY would not care what you people think if there wasn't something that didn't feel right here. You said my relationship with the intern is only limited because I don't know what she is thinking...possibly true, as awful as that sounds And then you said my relationship with the intern is only limited because SHE doesn't know what she is thinking - I disagree. She liked the attention. She likes being called hot and hit on. End of story. I need to get thru this (I am doing better) and fix my marriage. See? I get it dude...that's what I get for laying out my true feelings, no matter how screwed up they seem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 And when, exactly, did I ask her out? Don't remember that... Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 THIRD EMAIL EXAMPLE Me: "I would be psyched to see a SW film on an IMAX screen. We'll go and have Yoda chaparone" Her: (no actual response to that part of my email--but a happy & quick response nevertheless) You didn't flat out ask her, but you hinted at going out. I think you're right that she just wants the attention from you, because if she had wanted to go out, she would have taken your bait. My question is: What would you have done if she had bitten and said "yeah, we should go see it sometime." Do you think you would have done it? No need to answer if you don't feel comfortable. It just might be something you want to think about. Rocco, it's good that you're here admitting your feelings even if they don't show you in the best light. I have more respect for a person who can do that than someone who continually denies the obvious for the sake of making themselves look good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 That's a damn good question...if she had said something like "yeah, we should go out" would I have done it? It doesn't even really need a response...but whatever it is in my head should tell me a lot. Seriously, I am still in a little bit of shock about all this. I know what to do and what not to do...trust me, I do. But nevertheless this whole experience venting on here has been a good experience for me to go through. I can't believe some girls just like the attention and nothing more...but it probably doesn't surprise anybody I know next to nothing about women! ha! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 So many things can and are being taken out of context...You're thinking and reacting a certain way and so is the hottie. She's giving you mixed signals as well, so from where I sit, that's just a dangerous mix. I mean, WHAT IF she goes pyscho you on??? Accuses you of something that you didn't do or say? So, don't spend ANY one on one time with her in your office. Always make sure that there are people around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 Good advice...I doubt she's a psycho...but you never know... I now DO think she is playing some game here... I told her if I was ever annoying or too flirty she just had to tell me to stop. We were emailing on our PERSONAL EMAIL ACCOUNTS, NOT WORK EMAIL, just fyi. She said everything was cool and despite me referring to her as hot recently she "keeps coming back" but never taking it to the next level so to speak. It's all a game she is playing and I was weak and became a victim. Not trying to be too dramatic but I really think that's what is going on here. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Also, be aware if you work for a big company, some IT departments monitor ALL email...Not only work emails, but personal ones as well......... I think the best thing now you can do is silently enjoy her from afar. She's eye candy and that's it. Don't do anymore emails with her...Just stop checking your personal email at work that way you're not tempted to write her back. I keep on saying it, but if you don't reply to her emails, she WILL stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I now DO think she is playing some game here... I told her if I was ever annoying or too flirty she just had to tell me to stop. So are you.. WTF is the highlighted part of the post about ?... you should STOP emailing her.. It sounds like you are part of the game in the sense that you are participating in this teenage stuff with her.. Stop all emails with her.. Work only Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 Yes, I was clearly a part of the problem because not only would we talk STAR WARS but we would go off topic slightly and I would be showing off on email or giving her compliments or suggesting stuff (go to movies with Yoda). STOPPING COMMUNICATION WITH HER. Now the funny part about all this is that when we FIRST started emailing she was normal around me and now it feels VERY AWKWARD around her...things were normal when we were at 60 emails a day...but now at 20 a day it has been VERY AWKWARD in person ...I know I know I shouldn't care but that does not cease my curiosity...I know, I am a jerk for even wondering...oh well... Like I said, I do not understand women. I will start another post about MY WIFE and deal with those issues... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I will start another post about MY WIFE and deal with those issues... Yup, good idea. I think most of us would rather help you out with issues with your wife. Look forward to reading your post! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 but now at 20 a day it has been VERY AWKWARD in person ... And just think how awkward it would be if there was something between you both.. it won't last ...then the emails would be zero.. and the awkwardness would be 100 fold to what it is now.. Think about it.. your job.. career.. why screw that up ? And if you're over her head in power at work then she could go to upper managment and have you fired.. Even if you're not over her head she still could make it so you lose your job.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 yep, agree...my job is worth WAY MORE than her...I'll just enjoy the view and leave it at that. While this has been an "adventure", there are minor feelings of resentment for having been played the way I have. But again, all my fault for letting someone--ANYONE--have that kind of power over me. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Rocco, again, where are your plans for counseling? Where is the thread about your wife? When do you plan to stop communication with her for good? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rocco Cranston Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 yeah yeah i know thanks for the "tough love" Link to post Share on other sites
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