lil'peep Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Hey there, I'm a new member and I just really need some helpful advice and maybe some comforting words. I'm still in high school and I have been with this incredibly guy for nearly two years. We've had a troubled history including his commitment problems and then my fear of getting hurt. Now that all of that is in the past, I feel that our relationship was going the best it could. I know most people are critical and believe that this is just a high school love but I really do believe that this is the real thing. He always says vows like, "I'm gonna marry you someday and we'll have a happy life together" or "You're the one for me" and others like that. I believe that he's the one for me too. However, things did take an interesting twist. The summer started out fun and exciting. Finally, I thought, everything was going right in my life including family, job, school, and my love. Last Friday (June 9th, 2006), he got drunk and kissed two other girls. I don't know if he kissed them or they kissed him. This was odd because he had been trying to keep clean from alcohol for so long. He even said that I was part of the reason he was giving it up. I had asked him why he had decided to drink and yet he has no answer for me besides that he regrets it and is "kicking myself in the ass" for his drunken mistake. I should feel a slight sense of gratitude for him telling me this the next morning or that his griends (whom are loyal and honest to me) tells me he was drunk to the point of no comprehension (whatever that means, I've never drank). I keep thinking at least he's not trying to sneak around and has admitted to his sin sincerely. He even has told his mother and asked her for advice. We've talked since then and all it is is a pretending game. He pretends that nothing has happened and I pretend to be happy. On the following Monday morning, he came over. I opened the door and he immediately grabbed me and embraced me. We cried in each other's arms for hours and were unable to settle on what to do. Please help, because I still don't know what to do. If I leave him, I know I won't ever be as happy as when I was. However, if I forgive him, I could never forget and a haunting paranoia will still linger. I have lost all trust in him but the love is still there. I would like to know: should I give him slack for being drunk, for feeling guilty and crying, for being honest? Should I leave him or move on? I don't know what to do. All I know is that I still love him but the memories...they can do a number on me. It would mean so much to me if anyone at all could give me some helpful advice. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 If I ever feel the need to blame my boyfriends actions on his drinking - I'm leaving. I don't care how long we've been together. If I mean that much to him, he won't even consider going out and getting THAT drunk without me, because he knows that I'm the only one that will watch out for him when he can't keep his head out of the toilet - thank GOD that never happens. If it were me, I'd leave. Regardless of how long you guys have been together... if you take him back, he's going to think that he can do it again... and it's not like it was just one girl, it was TWO. That makes it even worse. You're young... I think we all thought that we had "the one" when we were your age... most of the time, it doesn't stay that way. I don't want to discourage you, or sound hateful, but from what I've seen, it's the truth. It's always going to be in the back of your mind, and if nothing else, it's going to cause major trust issues in your relationship, and one of you is going to get tired of it - whether it be him, or you. I suggest breaking up. Maybe, along the road, when he gets his drinking problems under control, you guys can be together... but I wouldn't suggest being with someone that is already having issues with drinking that young... because it may just get worse. I'm not saying he's an alcoholic, but anyone that has to "try to stop drinking" obviously has a problem with it. -shrug- Just my opinion. -throws in two pennies- Link to post Share on other sites
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